A Crinkle in Time
by PlotnoJutsu
Summary: Once, just once, the incredibly fortuitous timing of the Narutoverse doesn't go as Kishimoto planned. As the Eye of the Moon plan reaches its inevitable completion, the remains of the Shinobi Alliance resolve to stop Madara Uchiha at all costs, including reliving their hellish lives. Time travel AU, NaruHina and SasuSaku. Other pairings are indefinite.
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: Welcome to my first fanfic! I'm pretty new to the whole concept of a fanfiction, so please review with any constructive criticism that you have.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but if I did, it'd be something like this.**

**Prologue:**

As his white hair blew across his face in the breeze, the oldest man in the world entered the outskirts of Konoha for the first time in a century.

An eleven-year old genin walked happily beside him.

"Hey, old man," the boy asked. "Why are we going outside the village, anyway?"

The old man just sighed. "Quiet, Naruto."

Naruto protested. "But old man—"

Firmly, the old man set the young man straight. "I said quiet, Naruto."

* * *

As they walked into the shrine, memories bombarded the wizened ninja. Memories of loss. Memories of desperation. Memories of hope.

The masks on the walls all stared accusingly back at the old man. They reminded him of so many deaths...

His reverie was soon interrupted.

Naruto excitedly asked, "Are you going to read all of these scrolls, old man?"

The ancient man chuckled. "I _wrote _most of these scrolls, Naruto."

Naruto scoffed. "No way, you'd have to spend thousands of hours just writing, not to mention the time it'd take to actually come up with stuff to write about."

A pointed look and a raised eyebrow. That was all it took to communicate to Naruto how stupid the last comment was.

"Oh. Right. Old. Got it."

* * *

After exploring the shrine for a bit, Naruto picked up one of the many scripts in the shrine.

He opened it up, only to find thousands of tiny, incomprehensible symbols scrawled densely all over the page.

"What the hell is this, old man?"

The old man hobbled over to the scroll and chuckled. He turned to Naruto.

The aged man answered, "That's fuuinjutsu. One of my friends was the greatest master of sealing in the Elemental Nations."

Naruto shouted, "That's so cool! Did he write this?"

A nod. "Yes, he wrote this scroll in order to preserve the art for the next generation."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Can I meet him?"

The question was met with a sigh. "No, unfortunately, you won't have that opportunity. He died yesterday."

Silence.

Then comprehension. Naruto came to a realization, slowly asking, "So is that why you're here? For your friend?"

Another silence.

"Yes."

* * *

Minutes passed as Naruto continued to ponder the undecipherable tome.

The elder was searching for one object only: the final scroll written by his friend, the last memento of the genius.

Eventually, the venerable man gave up and asked, "Naruto, can you help me look for Volume #9 in the fuuinjutsu series?"

"Sure!" chirped the boy. "What does it look like?"

The old man thought about it. "It should look like the scroll you're holding, only with a red ribbon and a different title."

Naruto looked at the huge pile of scrolls. There had to be hundreds to look through.

Gulp.

* * *

Half an hour later, Naruto duly found the scroll, only to be flabbergasted at the title.

Naruto blustered, "This one? Why the hell do you want to learn how to extract—"

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, old man?"

"Shut up."

The old man sat down to read the final work of the sealing master, _Fuuinjutsu Volume #9: The Art of Containing and Extracting Tailed Beasts _in order to perform what he hoped would be his last jutsu.

But he could only see blurs and haze. His vision as a 144 year-old man wasn't the best.

Eyes flashing red and black, he settled down read.

Naruto was amazed. "Whoa! What did you just do?"

The aged ninja responded with a chuckle, "Well, Naruto, it's called the Sharingan, and it lets me see better. It runs in the family."

The boy's innocent eyes widened. "So can I do that?"

The old man chuckled. "We'll see about that. But I need you to step aside for a moment."

The elderly Uchiha brought his hand back in preparation for his jutsu.

Naruto was confused.

"Why do you want me to step aside—OH FUCK—"

A huge tremor threw the boy back anyway.

* * *

Drops of sweat covered the concentrating old ninja.

He hadn't done jutsu like this in years. Especially not fuuinjutsu.

First, a wrinkled right palm slammed down on the floor of the shrine and sent a shockwave through the shrine.

Naruto could be heard yelling.

Symbols invisible to the naked eye spiraled in eight directions around it. Even with the Sharingan, they were barely visible.

The letters glowed red.

Before the letters could cool down to their usual black shade, the old man slammed his other palm down.

Another layer of the octagonal seals spread across the floor.

Satisfied with the result, the old man smiled and repeated the process.

Floating octagonal seals layered themselves on each other with every slapping of the old man's palms.

* * *

Naruto only saw an old man slapping the floor with his hands repeatedly.

With an oddly satisfied smile on his face.

Naruto could only draw one conclusion: the old man had gone crazy.

* * *

The old man finally finished at 9 layers of seals, and he exhaled in anticipation. This was it.

He had created the 9-layered octagonal contract seal that would free him.

He turned to the boy. "Naruto, I need you to write your name in the middle of this tile here."

Naruto was convinced by this point that the old man was crazy. His name? Really? "Dude, are you alright? I heard that dementia can really—"

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, old man?"

"Shut the hell up and sign already. It's called a contract seal, and I've waited all my life for this moment."

Naruto shrugged as he scrawled his name across the tile.

The old man promised to tell him a killer story if he behaved during the trip, and the old man's stories were _always _awesome.

So Naruto would behave. Believe it.

* * *

The old man nearly doubled over at the nearly illegible "Naruto U."

Since this was his first time seeing Naruto's handwriting through the Sharingan, the old Uchiha hadn't realized how horrible Naruto's handwriting was.

* * *

The old man warned: "Naruto, step away. This seal may be get a bit violent."

Remembering the last time, Naruto quickly backed away. The old man really was crazy sometimes.

In contrast to Naruto's fear, the veteran ninja only felt anticipation.

His hand shaking a bit, the old man brought his hand to his chest and concentrated. Chakra flowed from his palms into his torso. In response, nine spiral seals seared through his clothes.

Nine seals, each with the Uzumaki crest in the middle.

The old man pulled his hands away from the seals, and energy drew out of them, coming out slowly like molasses.

He then pressed his chakra-covered hand into the center of the 9-layered octagonal layer seal on the floor.

This was it.

A humming noise vibrated through the shrine, and the old man stepped into the center of the octagonal contract seal.

The moment had come.

"**Shinigami Contract Seal****: Release!"**

He glowed and started to radiate blue light.

* * *

Naruto grew concerned.

In his experience, people didn't usually glow blue, and when they did, bad things happened.

Naruto asked timidly, "Old man, are you alright? Is that supposed to happen?"

Too focused to be annoyed, the veteran ninja responded, "Yes, Naruto. Just stay a couple of yards away, and you'll be fine."

By now, the old man was just a blinding blue silhouette to Naruto.

The only distinguishable feature other than his body's outline was the presence of nine seals on his chest, each glowing white.

But Naruto wasn't paying attention to the old man's body at all.

A huge, swirling black void was opening up right in front of the old man.

It looked almost like...a black hole?

The vortex definitely had strong gravitation.

It appeared to be sucking the blue light right out of the old man.

Along with sucking up half of the floor tiles. And the ceiling tiles. And the masks on the wall.

As the void sucked blue energy away from the 9 seals on the old man's chest, patterns began to appear.

Was that a fox?

And a cat?

A turtle?

And what the HELL was that thing?

Things were getting weirder and weirder.

* * *

Naruto got ready to spring into action, should the vortex decide to swallow up the old man.

The guy may have been crazy, demanding, and old as hell, but Naruto still liked him. And his kickass stories.

Naruto tensed his muscles, bent his knees, and charged chakra in his palms…

And then it was all over.

Masks and debris clattered to the ground, and the old man collapsed on the ground, breathing heavily.

The old man couldn't move his arms or legs, yet he felt free for the first time in forever.

Incredulously, Naruto asked, "What the hell, old man? What's wrong with...How did you…"

Panting, the old man brushed Naruto's comment aside. "That was nothing."

Even more confused, the young genin ever-so-intelligently replied, "Wha-"

"I didn't create that vortex just now," explained the old man. "Three great masters, probably three of the greatest ninjas of all time, once gave their souls to the Shingami in order to defy the laws of nature and create the portal you just saw."

Naruto listened with wide-eyed fascination. "Really?"

The old man nodded. "Yes, _that_ was true mastery of fuuinjutsu. I merely went back and re-opened their work."

Naruto paused and thought about it. The Shinigami?

What. The. Hell.

In the most literal sense.

Naruto was so surprised that he almost stopped ranting.

But his childish fury would not submit to mere curiosity, and his tirade continued.

"But you nearly got us killed! I swear, never do something like that aga—"

"Naruto?"

"Yeah, old man?"

"Shut up."

Naruto started gesturing wildly. "Old man, you always say that, but I never get to—"

The old man interrupted, "Remember, Naruto. You have to behave. I thought that you _wanted _to hear a 'kickass story,' but you can rant to yourself if you'd like."

With that, Naruto became as silent as an ANBU in enemy territory. He had waited all day to hear the old man talk.

He hoped this story would be as cool as the one about the First Hokage's battle at the Valley of End.

Or as cool as the one about the Second Hokage's fucking awesome death.

Or as cool as the one about the Fourth Hokage making the Third Shinobi World War his bitch.

* * *

Once the old man had collected himself and sufficiently recovered from his earlier ordeal, he addressed the boy.

"Naruto, today's story is going to be about myself. And it'll be really long. I literally can't move, and I have nothing better to do."

Holy shit. Naruto nearly wet himself with excitement.

This was a story about the old man himself?!

Now, Naruto had heard stories about things that the old man couldn't possibly know, the most esoteric and obscure things imaginable.

The old man even told stories about the fucking Sage of Six Paths and the Tree of Life, and Naruto was fairly certain that even the old man wasn't _that_ old.

Yet the old man never said anything about his own life, always avoiding any questions with an admonishing tap to the forehead.

And now was Naruto's opportunity to actually learn about the old man.

This really was going to be a good story. Believe it.

* * *

Naruto asked, "Does this story involve lots of adventure?"

The old man chuckled. "Oh, more than enough adventure for two lifetimes."

Excited, Naruto asked, "And is it a funny story?"

The elder Uchiha thought about it. "Yes, there have been many lighthearted moments in my life. But it's more sad than funny."

"Sad?" parroted Naruto.

Sad. The old man thought about it. Yes, his life was sad.

"Sad? Yes," said the veteran ninja. "But I have witnessed more romances than anyone else on the planet, so..."

The genin, a profound believer in cooties, grimaced and moved on to a more comfortable topic.

Ninjas.

"Will I hear about the guys you were just talking about, the three greatest ninjas or whatever?"

The veteran ninja answered, "Yes, that's part of the story."

The curious boy pressed on. "And why would they give their souls to the Shingami just to make a portal?"

The old man finally turned off his Sharingan and looked at the young boy with his own eyes.

Was his sight failing him, or did the boy's black hair and dark eyes exactly match those of his dead brother's?

"That's a good question, Naruto Uchiha, and it has a simple answer: to save the world."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Here is the second chapter of my first fic! Enjoy, and please review!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. That honor belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Chapter 2:**

_Timing is a funny thing._

_A great man once said, "You may delay, but time will not." People may try to always be punctual, but this is ultimately unrealistic-accidents occur, others interfere, and people themselves are flawed. Inevitably, delays will happen, and people must pay for the consequences, large or small._

_It all started during the 4th Shinobi World War, and though the delay was small, the impact destroyed time itself._

* * *

"It's really nice that we conveniently found this scroll that contains one of the greatest discoveries of the ninja world," Suigetsu noted.

The giant orange man next to him nodded.

"Indeed," said Jugo. "It would be a shame if our luck didn't last long enough to actually deliver this scroll to Sasuke."

Suigetsu brushed off the very notion. The blue swordsman scoffed,"Oh, come on. What could possibly go wrong if we look for Sasuke by punching through the walls of every cave in the Elemental Nations?"

"Suigetsu, I'm just saying that karma could come and bite us in the ass."

"Pssh. Get your religious terms right, Jugo. Karma only applies to future reincarnations of the soul, which I don't believe in."

Oh, Suigetsu. If only you knew.

* * *

Two black-haired figures darted through the forests of Konoha.

"Itachi! Get back here, you bastard! I have a mountain of questions to ask you!"

"Sasuke, I'm a dead man with things to do."

Sasuke was pissed. He had spent his entire life hating his bastard of a brother, only to find out that Itachi was a faithful agent of Konoha the entire time. So many unanswered question swirled through his minds. "Why?! Why did-"

Itachi interrupted. "Forgive me, Sasuke. I can't help you right now. Next time, I promise."

Sasuke snarled. "You're gonna use that excuse even when you're _dead_?"

Itachi smiled. "Yes, I'm dead. It's not really in my place to speak any fur—"

An Amaterasu arrow flew past Itachi's ear.

"I'm not fucking around, Itachi. You stop right here or I will burn your sorry Edo Tensei body to make you stop."

Itachi thought about it.

"Well, I guess an hour's delay wouldn't hurt the Shinobi Alliance _that _horribly. But I can only spare an hour for your questions, Sasuke."

Sasuke gruffly acquiesced. "Hn. That's enough time."

Oh, Itachi. If only you knew the difference that one hour would make.

* * *

In his cave hideout, Kabuto felt Itachi's chakra signature stop.

'Hm. How odd. I thought he was coming for me.'

Even as Kabuto was thinking about his pursuer, the wall of his cave exploded to reveal two figures.

"HA! Found you, Sasuke!"

"Suigetsu, I don't think that's Sasuke…"

Jugo immediately began bickering with Suigetsu. Neither knew that this conversation was the last one they'd ever have.

Ignored by the two Taka members, Kabuto licked his lips. Orochimaru's old experiments showing up? This would be interesting.

* * *

Pojupoju, a random White Zetsu clone, was excited beyond belief.

The two half-dead bodies on the ground, an unconscious orange-haired man and a foaming-at-the-mouth white-haired Hozuki, didn't bother Pojupoju at all.

Master Kabuto had summoned him after finding some scroll and wanted Pojupoju to go to the Uzumaki Mask Storage Temple.

The green-haired man was determined to make himself useful. He would differentiate himself from thousands of his brethren.

* * *

The Uchiha brothers finally reached the Mountain's Graveyard.

It seemed that there had been a skirmish, because the wall of one of the caves had been blasted open. Sasuke continued to harangue his brother.

"…and why the HELL did you never warn me about the snake pedophile before the Chuunin exams?," yelled Sasuke. "Didn't he try to steal your body, too?"

Itachi frowned. "For the last time, Sasuke. I'm in the middle of something important. Something doesn't feel right…"

"…and don't even get me STARTED on fangirls," shouted the younger Uchiha. "Couldn't you have at least left me a warning about how to deal with them? I suffered through 5 YEARS of Sakura and Ino!"

"Sasuke?"

"Yeah, Itachi?"

"Shut the hell up."

* * *

The wall of the cave was smashed open further (unnecessarily, Kabuto thought) by Sasuke's Susanoo.

Two skeletal warriors stared down at the snake sage.

Kabuto licked his lips. "Well, well. If it isn't the Uchiha brothers…just in time to see my newest blow to the shinobi world!"

Itachi was worried that Sasuke might blow up upon seeing Kabuto. The zombie Uchiha whispered, "Sasuke. We cannot kill him until we can release the Edo Tensei. Do you understand?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yes, Itachi. We've been through this already. I swear, if—"

The younger Uchiha was interruped by a green imbecile bursting through the ground using the Mayfly. As he fully emerged, Pojupoju brought out a smiling mask of a horned demon. The Zetsu clone happily reported, "I'm back, Master Kabuto! And I got the mask that you wanted—AHH!"

Kabuto shoved the aforementioned mask onto the White Zetsu clone's face.

The snake sage turned to the two Uchiha brothers. "Sasuke, you wanted to destroy Konoha, as I recall? Well, a few Konoha ghosts might have something to say to you."

Itachi and Sasuke both felt their blood run cold with horrified suspicion and charged Kabuto, but there just wasn't enough _time. _Ignoring the poor White Zetsu's muffled protests, Kabuto slashed the masked Pojupoju's stomach open before the Uchiha brothers even bridged a quarter of the distance.

The clone's screams were silenced as souls began to fly out of the his guts.

This was it, the opportunity to finally surpass Orochimaru.

"**Summoning****: Impure Resurrection**!"

Itachi and Sasuke looked at each other, and, for the first time in years, voiced their thoughts in unison.

"Fuck."

Because 4 Hokages were staring blankly at them.

* * *

Atop the revived Ten-Tails, Madara Uchiha was very happy.

Although Obito had apparently fucked up and revived him as an Edo Tensei, he was finally in a position to dominate the world. It helped that the 5 Kages weren't worth the dirt that Izuna had walked on. The fact that the Shinobi Alliance had just arrived only made it more convenient for Madara; massacring them would be easier if they collected in one place.

Getting ready to call forth an avalanche of meteors again, Madara was stopped by a curious rumbling in the ground.

'This chakra feels so familiar,' thought Madara. 'Could it be…?'

A rectangular burst through the ground next to Madara.

After the coffin fully emerged, the heavy lid of the coffin slammed onto the ground with a thump.

As the figure inside was revealed, Madara started laughing maniacally. The ancient Uchiha had waited decades to see this man, the only person Madara hated and respected, again.

Who knew that _he, _of all people, would be revived?

Kabuto was going to get such a handsome reward for this.

* * *

Back at the Mountain's Graveyard, Kabuto sweatdropped.

This was definitely a tough fight.

Kabuto had initially had the upper hand, but he was too aggressive with use of the Hokages. Apparently, spamming Hiruzen's most powerful ninjutsu was just plain ineffective against Itachi.

"**Fire Style****: Fire Dragon Bullet**!" shouted the Third Hokage.**  
**

The Uchiha clan's former ANBU merely reflected the massive attack back with—was that the legendary Yata Mirror?-and incapacitated Hiruzen instantly. The Katon jutsu had scorched the Edo Tensei body beyond recognition, and the corpse was slow to reform.

Sasuke smirked. "Using the Yata Mirror again, Itachi?"

Yup.

As Sarutobi's corpse began to repair the burns from its own Fire Dragon, Itachi's Susanoo pulled out a sake jar. A liquid blade shot out of the gourd.

Kabuto suppressed both a squeal of excitement and a gasp of horror. Who knew that Itachi had the freaking Sword of Totsuka?

The snake sage leapt forward. "NO! You can't do-"

Itachi's Susanoo swatted Kabuto away like a fly and held the Sword of Totsuka up. The ethereal, liquid blade pierced Hiruzen's body and ripped out the Third Hokage's soul, reducing the body to ashes and some nameless shinobi's corpse. Itachi's Susanoo then turned towards Hashirama's body and began to swing the Sword of Totsuka again.

Itachi Uchiha had sealed away the God of Shinobi, Hiruzen Sarutobi, in mere moments.

And the 1st Hokage himself was about to be defeated like a triviality.

Now, Kabuto wasn't stupid. He knew that Hashirama's offensive ninjutsu was absolutely ineffective against Itachi. But he was reasonably sure that Lord Madara would deeply appreciate him sending Hashirama over to the Ten Tails' battlefield. And his most prized Edo Tensei would be safe. Hashirama may have been the most powerful ninja of all time excluding the Sage of Six Paths, but Itachi Uchiha was the _worst matchup possible_ for him.

So Kabuto quickly sent Hashirama away to Madara's battle at the Land of Lightning, thinking about the havoc that Madara and Hashirama could wreak as a team.

Furthermore, Itachi was many things, but he was not invincible.

The Second and Fourth Hokages were the perfect tagteam to take him down.

* * *

Itachi grew restless. The Second and the Fourth still remained. And despite being the two fastest ninja ever, neither had attacked yet.

What could Kabuto be planning?

Itachi himself was, for the first time in forever, quite scared. Both Hokages specialized in close combat, rendering the Yata Mirror nearly useless. It would be nearly impossible to dodge any blows with their combined speed…

Then, both Hokages jumped into action simultaneously. A yellow flash interrupted all of Itachi's thoughts.

The Fourth Hokage appeared behind the elder Uchiha.

"**Rasengan**!" shouted Minato, as he appeared behind Itachi.

Itachi countered the energy ball with his own jutsu. "**Amaterasu**!"

The flames almost licked the Fourth's body, but Minato was too fast. He threw a tri-kunai above Itachi and quickly teleported to it.

"**Big Ball Rasengan**!" shouted Minato from above.

Itachi reacted reflexively with a Susanoo rib, but it was quickly shattering faster than Itachi could rebuild it.

Itachi was forced to channel all of his energy into his disintegrating Susanoo.

And the elder Uchiha could only watch in horror as Tobirama sped past him.

The Second Hokage sped past him towards Sasuke.

"**Flying Thunder God Slash**!"

Blood spattered on the walls of the cave.

Once, just once, Itachi understood Madara's hatred a tiny bit.

* * *

Everyone looked up at the figures on top of the Ten-Tails in horror.

As he absorbed the last of the sage and Senju chakra, Madara cast Hashirama's shriveled body aside.

Kabuto would restore the body later.

In the meantime, Madara felt invincible. Sage mode, Senju DNA, and passive healing? Yes, please.

The combined chakras flowed within him like a burning river of power.

It was time, as Nagato would say, to show the world some pain.

"Obito, disconnect from the Juubi and become intangible," barked Madara. "There's something I'd like to try."

"Yes, master."

Obito spun away in a vortex to the Kamui dimension.

Madara closed his eyes and increased his chakra current rate until he was radiating a visible shroud. His body was literally flaming with energy.

With all of the power of the Juubi, the sheer force of Hashirama's Wood Style, and the infinite chakra of an Edo Tensei body, Madara knew that this next jutsu could be even more impressive than the creation of the moon.

The Edo Tensei focused his bottomless chakra reserves and flipped through a set of hand seals.

This was it.

"**Wood Style****: Massive Cutting Technique**!"

Initially, a pause of silence awkwardly filled the battlefield.

Then the jutsu took effect.

The effect was instantaneous. The entire Shinobi Alliance screamed as one. Trillions of huge wooden needles longer than Manda rained down on the Shinobi Alliance in a blizzard. The relentless hail of projectiles eclipsed the entire visible sky and coated every square foot of the battlefield.

Within seconds, the Shinobi Alliance was little more than a bloody wooden carpet.

* * *

Rock Lee opened his eyes, expecting to see his maker.

Instead, he saw the corpses of Kakashi Hatake and Maito Gai sprawled in front of him.

"No…" he whispered. "Sensei's springtime of youth can't be over…"

Looking around, he saw skewered bodies everywhere, and only a couple of survivors, the Konoha 11 among them.

"WHAT HAPPENED?!" Rock Lee cried.

Neji struggled up. "I saw it all with my Byakugan. It was incredible; Madara annihilated the Alliance with a giant Mokuton jutsu."

Tears were streaming down Lee's face. "And what happened to the jonin?!"

Neji grimaced. "I don't know where he found the strength or power to do it, but Kakashi opened up a Kamui portal right above us that blocked all of the spikes."

Lee was screaming by now. "BUT WHAT ABOUT SENSEI?!"

Even Neji looked like he was going to cry.

"Sensei was using his body to protect Kakashi. In order ensure the survival of the Konoha 11."

* * *

Tears were streaming down Kiba's face. "No, this can't be happening. Akamaru..."

The white dog lay dead at his feet, just outside the circle of safety that Kakashi had created.

* * *

Nearby, a young blonde Toad sage was suffering even worse; Sage Mode forced Naruto to feel the collective pain of everyone around him.

"Damn you, Madara! I'll fucking slaughter you, believe it!"

Beside Naruto, a ball of sand resembling a porcupine crumbled. Gaara collapsed, exhausted from shielding his siblings.

Temari crawled out of the sand. "Is there any hope left for us?"

An injured Shikamaru groaned as he pulled a stray wooden spike from his leg. "I don't think so. This is the end."

* * *

Itachi stared in horror at the massive slash wound in Sasuke's torso. It had nearly bisected him.

Sasuke's Susanoo vanished, and the young Uchiha fell in a boneless heap on the ground.

His little brother was dead.

The Second Hokage wiped his bloody sword.

"This never happened," growled Itachi. "**Izanagi**!"

Sasuke's wound disappeared, and he sat up, gasping for air. Itachi exhaled in relief. His brother was alive.

Unfortunately, Itachi's quick thinking had a consequence. His own Susanoo disappeared—it needed two Sharingans sustaining it.

Without his Susanoo and magical weapons, Itachi was vulnerable to every attack from any direction. This needed to end soon.

Itachi only knew one way to end the Edo Tensei.

The elder Uchiha charged at Kabuto, knowing that the snake sage might be the last thing he ever saw.

"**Izanami**!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I really wish I owned Naruto. I really do.**

**Chapter 3:**

_Fate is cruel._

_In the shinobi world, people are born into an unfair system. Some have powerful bloodlines, and others have nothing but their own diligence and wits. Sometimes, people are born into nobility, and others are born into enslavement._

_Yet nothing is set in stone. As a great wizard once said, it is ultimately our choices, and not our inborn abilities, that determine who we are. Choices determine the future more than anything else. Choices, like the choice to never give up. Choices, like the choice to protect others through the Will of Fire. Choices, like the choice of sacrifice._

_Yes, fate is cruel, but people can fight against it. And sometimes, they win._

* * *

In the Kamui dimension, Obito looked like a pincushion. Dozens of wooden spikes protruded from his body.

'Damn Kakashi,' thought Obito. 'I'm done for…there's no hope of surviving this one.'

Using Kamui for the last time, Obito swirled back onto the Ten-Tail's back.

In his attempt to protect the Konoha 11, Kakashi sent hundreds of wooden spikes into the Kamui dimension.

Straight at Obito.

Even in his death, the Hatake managed to be a pain in the ass.

Almost every one of Tobi's vital points had been struck.

Crawling over to where Madara was, Obito struggled to find his voice.

"...Help me, Madara. Please," begged Obito.

Madara just grinned at him.

* * *

From elsewhere on the battlefield, Black Zetsu heard Madara signal for him to take over Obito's body.

It was time.

* * *

Suicidal.

That was the only word that could describe Team Gai's hasty plan.

Now, all three of them had seen Nagato's Samsara of Heavenly Life firsthand when he used it to revive Konoha's entire population. They knew what the Rinnegan could do.

All three of them knew that Madara planned to become the jinchuuriki of the Juubi from Obito's speech in front of the entire Five Kage's Summit. It was common knowledge.

All three of them knew that Edo Tenseis couldn't become jinchuurikis. Madara had said so himself.

All three of them watched in horror as Black Zetsu burst out of the ground and took over Obito's body. Tobi's hands twitched and strained, but they slowly descended into the hand seals for the Rinne Tensei. If Black Zetsu managed to form the Ram Seal, all of the Shinobi Alliance's efforts would be wasted.

And all three of them watched Madara cackle in glee at Black Zetsu's horrid betrayal of Obito Uchiha.

Team Gai had only one goal: stop Madara's resurrection.

Rock Lee, Neji Hyuuga, and Tenten charged at Madara in a righteous fury.

They would make their sensei proud.

* * *

Itachi's Izanami worked perfectly. The former ANBU only had time to cast one final Tsukuyomi on Kabuto before his Sharingan was sealed away.

The zombie Uchiha had milked his Tsukuyomi for each bit of information.

And it had been worth it.

Itachi was now blind, but he had control of the Impure Resurrection.

The ex-ANBU Uchiha threw together the hand seals to monitor his Edo Tensei.

Itachi nearly fell over.

He immediately overwhelmed by the sheer scale of the jutsu.

"There must be thousands of corpses being manipulated. Kabuto was certainly skilled to be able to control so many," Itachi noted.

Sasuke snorted. "Pssh. The low-life copycat of Orochimaru couldn't fight to save his life."

Itachi glared at Sasuke. "Do I have to remind you that you _died_?!"

Sufficiently humbled, Sasuke suddenly took great interest in his nails.

Itachi focused on the two corpses in front of him. "**Impure Resurrection: Partial Release**!"

Instantly, Minato and Tobirama snapped to attention.

"Is this…is this my kinjutsu?"

"Lord Second?! What are you doing here?"

Itachi smiled. A plan was forming in his mind.

* * *

Rock Lee was the first to jump out of Team Gai's triangular running formation. He immediately went all out.

"**First…Second…Third…Fourth…Fifth…Sixth Gate: Gate of Joy**," shouted Lee. "**Open**!"

Lee's skin flushed an angry red and a blazing aura of sweat exploded around him as he glided through the air.

"**Dynamic Entry**!"

Madara snorted at the chuunin's kick. He set up a Mokuton barrier, but Lee was faster.

The youth-obsessed teen leapt behind Madara nearing the speed of the Hiraishin and launched his most powerful attack.

Lee drew both fists back and prepared to strike the air itself.

"**Morning Peacock**!"

Flaming bullets of air faster than any normal eye could follow flared towards Madara.

Unfortunately for Lee, the Sharingan wasn't a normal eye. Neither was the Rinnegan.

Madara instantaneously brought up his gunbai and calmly drawled out, "**Uchiha Nagashi**."

The force of all of the compressed air reached a halt on impact with the gunbai and reflected back at Lee.

Rock Lee didn't even have time to react as he was mauled by his own attack.

He cried out as dozens of lightning-fast blows caused his green jumpsuit to burst into flame, knocking him out of the air.

Madara laughed as the youth crashed onto the back of the Ten-Tails and collapsed.

"May I have the pleasure," intoned Madara as he walked over to Lee's body. "Of finding out the name of my _worthy _opponent?"

Slowly losing energy as the 6 Gates began closing again, Lee managed to get out, "I…am Rock Lee…Konoha's Beautiful…Wild Green Beast!"

Madara reached Lee as the teen finished and stepped on his neck. "Any last words, then, Mr. Lee?"

Rock Lee spat blood at Madara and said, "Yes, actually. You may have…defeated me, but my comrades will come at you with vengeance for all that you have done. Each of them is worth _ten _of you."

Amused, Madara noted as he began crushing the boy's throat, "I was one of the strongest fighters of my time, and I've had decades' worth of more experience than any of your little _friends_."

Lee sent up a prayer for Gai-sensei. 'These will be my last words,' he thought as he felt blood start to fill up his trachea.

"You may be older than us," said Lee said as he closed his eyes. "But you underestimate my friends'…youth!"

Bored with the spandex-clad teen, Madara finally snapped Lee's neck and turned towards the other two Konoha-nin running at him.

* * *

Naruto watched helplessly as he saw Madara crush Lee's neck from half a mile away.

"Bastard!" shouted the jinchuuriki. "You bastard! I'll rend you limb from limb!"

* * *

Lee had reached the Ten-Tails in seconds flat, but Tenten and Neji had to run like normal people.

They ran in silence.

It took them a few minutes to make reasonable distance towards the massive bijuu, but they still saw Madara ruthlessly beat Lee into the ground.

Tenten and Neji both winced, knowing that the same could happen to either of them next.

Unable to keep silent any more, Tenten turned to Neji, and whispered, "Neji, there's something I've wanted you to know for a long time."

Neji couldn't bring himself to look at her. He shut his eyes in despair at his situation as Tenten continued.

"Neji, I had the biggest crush on you when we first became teammates," Tenten said as they ran. "And over the years—"

"Stop, please stop, Tenten," Neji interrupted in anguish. "I know, and I've never had the courage to tell you that…that I like you, too. Why is fate so cruel to force us to run to our own deaths just as we share our feelings?"

Tenten sighed, giving an occasional gasp from the brutally fast run. "Neji, I'm sorry—"

"Don't be," Neji murmured angrily. "It's not your fault. Let's just do our best to make sure the others survive."

The two ran in awkward silence again when a shout pierced the air.

_"Bastard! You bastard! I'll rend you limb from limb!"_

Tenten sighed in exasperation. "That Naruto…"

Neji had a different reaction to the outburst. Naruto's voice reminded him of a time, another time when he felt betrayed by fate.

He remembered how Naruto had defied physics itself when Neji was sure of his defeat.

He remembered how Naruto had defied the villagers' expectations of him and gone on to win against him.

He remembered how Naruto had defied his own destiny as a jinchuuriki and made his own way in life, accepted by the village.

Slowly but surely, Neji pushed aside his fate-obsessed melancholy and captured a bit of Naruto's vivacious spirit.

"You know what, Tenten?" started Neji in a change of mood. "Let's make the most of what we've got left. I know we're charging to our deaths and all, but…will you be my female companion?"

Surprised, Tenten blinked. Then she grinned. "_Girlfriend_, Neji. I'll be your _girlfriend_."

Neji chuckled.

The newly-formed couple charged in the face of fate, prepared to forge their own youthful destinies, as Gai-sensei would say.

* * *

"What's taking so long?" snapped Madara. "Surely Obito can't be _that _resistant!"

"Sorry, Lord Madara," apologized Black Zetsu. "I got the hand seals together, but Obito is stubbornly refusing to channel any chakra to his hands at all. They're actually starting to get cold from the lack of life energy."

Annoyed, Madara muttered, "Get it done as fast as you can. You're all expendable, you know that?"

His attention was diverted by the two figures running towards him.

Tenten jumped up first and began the almost-futile assault on Madara. She brought out two scrolls and unfurled them in an elongated spiral of seals.

"**Explosive Twin Rising Dragons**!" shouted Tenten. "**Release**!"

Thousands of weapons, each outfitted with an explosive tag, rained down on the Ten Tails' back.

Madara snorted in derision and formed his Susanoo's ribcage, preventing any of the weapons from reaching him. The weapons detonated one-by-one, but the best that Tenten managed was a small crack in one of the ribs.

Then Neji jumped up on the Ten-Tails' back, making a beeline for Obito's struggling body.

* * *

A word about Madara: he, obviously, is extremely powerful. In actuality, as an Edo Tensei with unlimited power, multiple dojutsus, senjutsu, and Hashirama's power, it's quite accurate to say that Madara was the most powerful human in the world at the time. But his power existed almost entirely in offensive potential.

In others words, no one could stop him from killing a target; Madara's ninjutsu simply overpowered any enemy. Between Uchiha Nagashi and Susanoo, Madara even had a pretty decent personal defense, rivaling Gaara's so-called Absolute Defense.

But Madara was ill-suited to fighting to protect someone else.

He and Hashirama had an entire philosophical dispute that neither had resolved in their lifetimes. Madara was simply unwilling to fight for others with the "Will of Fire," as Hashirama called it. His power existed for himself and himself only.

Right now, Madara Uchiha had to fight to protect Obito and Black Zetsu. And he couldn't do it well enough to defeat two very youthful, very loyal Konoha ninja.

His Perfect Susanoo was impressive, but it also moved quite slowly. It would never outspeed Neji's blitz towards Obito.

On the other hand, Tenten's relentless assault on Madara required the presence of his Susanoo. If he turned it off for a moment, his body would be reduced to ash, slowly him down even further.

So the Susanoo's arm futilely came down on Neji, unable to make it in time to stop the Hyuuga.

* * *

Neji cleared the distance with time to spare and prepared his attack. 'Naruto, I'm dedicating this to you,' thought Neji. 'Screw fate, here's to the Will of Fire.'

The young Hyuuga delivered a fatal Jyuuken blow through Obito's left eye, destroying both the Rinnegan and brain behind it.

Obito Uchiha perished instantly.

Madara howled with outrage as his Susanoo sword pierced Neji and curved around to skewer Tenten as well. The loss of Izuna's eye was horrible, but Obito's death meant that no one could revive him.

He hurled the couple's dying bodies on the ground, but his rage soon abated.

Madara soon felt his skin prickling and his internal rhythms coming to life.

His blood pounded.

His nerves tingled.

His hands throbbed with chakra.

It seems that Black Zetsu had forced Obito into submission just in time before the Hyuuga's assassination, because Lord Madara had returned to life.

* * *

Neji and Tenten lay dying on the ground next to the Ten-Tails.

There was nothing fair about their deaths; they were too young, too hopeful, and too innocent for the Shinigami to take.

As Neji's juuinjutsu sealed away his Byakugan, he thought of his father, the one who had started Neji's career as a ninja.

'I hope I made you proud, dad,' thought Neji. 'I think I finally understand why you sacrificed yourself. It's time to go...'

The two Konoha ninja died holding hands and smiling. It seems that both of them had made their peace with fate; perhaps they hadn't exactly determined the circumstances of their lives, but the couple had chosen the attitudes that they took.

* * *

On the battlefield, a coffin burst out of the ground. The coffin held an Edo Tensei body.

Minato emerged from the coffin and slammed his hand on the ground.

"**Flying Thunder God Jutsu**!"

The jutsu formula spread across the ground, etching the Fourth's signature fuuinjutsu on the soil.

Satisfied with the seal on the ground, Minato teleported back to Mountain's Graveyard.

In seconds, Minato arrived on the wood-carpeted battlefield with Itachi in tow.

Tobirama followed soon after, carrying Sasuke.

The four of them surveyed the carnage left in Madara's wake.

"My god…this is a bloodbath," whispered Minato. "Is my son alright?"

* * *

The son in question, Naruto, stared off into the distance smiled ruefully. "Nice going, Neji. Rest in peace, guys."

Naruto knew that Team Gai had just been seconds away from preventing Madara's resurrection. And they had destroyed one of the Rinnegan, to boot.

It wasn't every day that 3 kids could nearly foil shinobi legends.

* * *

Hinata watched Neji's final suicide mission in a mixture of admiration and horror.

She couldn't believe it.

Her cousin, who had always been in her life, whether as a bully or a confidant, was gone. Another life taken by Madara.

As she lay sobbing, Naruto hobbled over and put his arm around her shoulder.

No words were exchanged between the two.

The mutual grief was understood.

Hinata looked up at her crush. "N-Naruto?"

"Yeah, Hinata?"

The Hyuuga heiress inwardly crushed years of self-doubt and nervousness.

"If we make it through this, will you go on a date with me?"

Naruto stared at Hinata speechlessly. He had never forgiven himself for nearly getting Hinata killed by Pain, and he just never considered himself worthy of her.

Then he gave the first truly genuine smile since the beginning of the war.

"Of course!"

They would suffer through their loss together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and never will.**

**Chapter 4:**

_Plans are the lifeblood of the future. Who said that? I did. And that's why it's not entirely correct._

_A greater man than I once said that "in battle, plans are useless but planning is essential." Or something like that._

_To go into a war thinking that everything is going to go according to plan is foolishness incarnate. There are just too many factors, too many liabilities to account for. It's just not possible to design other people's behavior, especially when there are forces of spontaneity like Naruto Uzumaki. Entirely designing others' behavior is another story altogether, and the Infinite Tsukuyomi generally isn't a battle technique._

_Planning, on the other hand, is critical. Knowing how to respond to unexpected situation allows for a flexibility that is crucial to surviving in any fight._

_That's why a lifetime of scheming can yield to a few minutes' worth of strategy._

* * *

"Does everyone understand the plan?"

Sasuke, Tobirama, and Minato nodded. It was simple; Itachi would stall Madara, Sasuke and Tobirama would protect the survivors of Madara's assault, and Minato would travel back to Konoha to lay a Flying Raijin seal. Once Minato reached his destination and successfully marked the location, he would teleport back to the battlefield and whisk everyone away to Konoha.

Itachi smiled. "Good. Let's fuck Madara's plan up."

* * *

Madara's mood fluctuated from pure rage to orgasmic happiness. His lifetime of planning had finally yielded success and proven his genius.

Successful resurrection of the Juubi? Check.

Successful self-reincarnation? Check.

Successful demolition of the vast majority of shinobi? Check.

The only flaw in the entire scheme was the destruction of one of Izuna's Rinnegan, but it wasn't so big of deal as long Spiral Zetsu managed to get the other Rinnegan to Madara in time. For that, the surviving Konoha-nin became the target of Madara's undiluted, manic anger.

No one would resist Madara and survive. Especially not the jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi who had caused him so much trouble. It was too bad that Neji and Tenten were dead already; Madara had killed them prematurely without giving them the torture they deserved for messing with his plans.

Just as he prepared to leave to exterminate the surviving Konoha and Suna ninja, a cloaked figure landed in front of him.

Madara was genuinely surprised that someone else had survived. "And who might you be?"

"Itachi Uchiha. Pleased to meet you."

Madara's eyebrows rose. "Another Uchiha? Ah, but you're an Edo Tensei. I'd love to chat, but there's a couple of pests who I have to kill…"

Itachi laughed humorlessly and shook his head. "You're not going anywhere. **Summoning****: Impure Resurrection**!"

* * *

Tobirama and Sasuke approached the survivors. They were alarmed at the sparse numbers.

Only the Rookie Nine and Team Baki remained.

"Oi!" shouted Sasuke. "It's me, Sasuke. Get in a circle!"

12 heads turned towards him. Each face was equally shocked.

Tobirama didn't know what kind of response Sasuke had expected from the adolescent ninja, but the reality certainly wasn't pleasant.

Sasuke dodged, amongst other things, a barrage of kunai, a chakra-enhanced punch, Shadow Possession Jutsu, and a hug from Ino.

Each of them equally disturbed him.

"You have a lot of nerve," growled Kiba. "To think you can just come up to us and give us orders!"

"But..." protested Sasuke. "I've talked to Itachi and reformed and..."

"I propose that we just kill him now," droned Shino. "Logically, his close proximity to us makes us a target for his close combat jutsu, and his past behavior shows a conformity to violent actions towards any person or persons believed to be his so-called 'friends.' He can't take on all of us at once; I'm of the opinion that Naruto could solo him with a certain amount of ease."

A sweatdrop rolled down the side of Sasuke's face. He didn't expect this...

"SASUKE-KUN!" gushed Ino. "I KNEW YOU'D COME BACK!"

Okay, Sasuke expected that one.

"It's...it's really you," whispered Naruto. "You're back."

Sasuke turned to his best friend. "Yeah, I'm back. I've talked to Itachi about his past, and, long story short, spending time with two Hokages has changed my opinions somewhat about Konoha. I've decided to come back to help you guys."

Everyone then turned to look at Tobirama. A zombie Hokage? Not something anyone sees on a regular basis.

As everyone else fussed over the Second, Shino sulked comically in the metaphorical corner. He didn't care so much that no one tried to kill Sasuke; no, he was merely pissed because he'd been ignored again. It was just his luck that the _Second Hokage _of all people would steal the spotlight.

Tobirama wasn't really focused on communicating with the descendants of his old village. He was more concerned about Itachi.

Could the young Uchiha buy them enough time?

* * *

After teleporting Itachi, Sasuke, and Tobirama to the Mountain's Graveyard, Minato traveled as fast as he could back to Konoha.

It was a little known fact that Minato could actually fly.

He simply had to repeat the process of launching his kunai into the stratosphere and teleporting to it.

Because of the vaguely cloud-like yellow flash that appeared every time Minato teleported, it looked a little bit like he was sustaining flight by bouncing via repeated farts.

* * *

Madara was impressed and a little intimidated.

The Uchihas had so much in common.

They had both been Edo Tenseis at one point.

They were both currently blind.

And Madara didn't know it, but both of them had watched Tobirama kill a younger brother with the Flying Thunder God Slash.

Most importantly, both Uchiha were absolute geniuses.

Yes, Madara respected Itachi.

In just seconds, Itachi had summoned forth every last one of Kabuto's Edo Tenseis.

Madara looked around him. A sea of reincarnated corpses started at him. The vast majority of the sea was made up of resurrected White Zetsus.

Madara comforted himself. 'At least I made them as dumb as rocks. They shouldn't be able to do anything to me.'

To say that Madara was shocked by the vicious Edo Tensei assault would be an understatement.

Wave after wave of undead White Zetsus bombarded him in picture-perfect attack formations. It was almost as if a puppeteer were controlling them.

Not to mention that there was a bone user who simply refused to be knocked down, half of the previous Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and dozens of Kekkei Genkai users bombarding him.

Madara cursed the fact that he didn't know any fuuinjutsu at all. He would have to do this the hard way—after Spiral Zetsu got his lazy ass over to the battlefield.

The ancient Uchiha could have kissed the green-haired imbecile when Spiral Zetsu finally showed up, Izuna's eye in tow.

* * *

Itachi grimaced in focus and pained concentration.

Chiyo and the White Zetsu army took a lot of concentration to control, but they could easily hold Madara off for a couple of minutes.

Itachi was hopeful that Madara might not even be able to seal any of the Edo Tenseis. For awhile, that seemed to be the case. Madara just blindly dodged all of the Edo Tensei attacks without sealing one.

Could Madara Uchiha be defeated by something as simple as Edo Tensei?

Nope.

"Poop! Master, Guruguru has your eye!"

Shit. Itachi facepalmed as another blasted Zetsu-thing showed up holding a Rinnegan up to Madara Uchiha.

Naturally, Madara had just acquired the one and only dojutsu that could counter the Edo Tensei.

Itachi dearly hoped that Minato was as fast as he promised, because his hope of the Edo Tensei army surviving was shattered in moments.

Madara shouted, "**Wood Style****: Massive Wood Clone Jutsu**!"

The impressive numbers of Itachi's army was soon overshadowed by an ocean of Madara clones.

And they looked really, really pissed. Each and every one of them.

All of the thousands of Madaras grabbed the nearest Edo Tensei and cried out, "**Human Path****: Soul Reap**!"

Countless corpses dissolved into ash as their souls were ripped out.

Fuck. So Madara could defeat Edo Tenseis.

* * *

After flying for an hour, Minato finally reached the Uzumaki Clan Shrine.

Itachi had decided on this as a destination instantly after finishing reading the scroll that Kabuto's unmoving body held. There was no way that he could leave this opportunity unused.

It was clear from the unkempt state of the wall of masks that an intruder had taken something earlier. No doubt Kabuto's White Zetsu had stolen a mask.

Fortunately, Minato was holding the stolen mask in his hand. He'd brought back the Shinigami mask to the shrine.

After carefully laying down a Flying Thunder God Seal, Minato teleported back to the battlefield, dearly hoping he could make it in time to save the others.

If all went well, Madara would be stranded alone on the battlefield while the gang rendezvoused in the Uzumaki Clan Shrine.

Landing on the hard soil, the Fourth Hokage quickly found Itachi hidden, concentrated on controlling the few Edo Tenseis that remained.

Minato signaled to the former ANBU, and Itachi quickly rushed over to him.

It was time to escape.

* * *

The Uchiha's Wood Clones patrolled the battlefield, picking off any stray or remaining Edo Tenseis. The ruthless destruction of reincarnated souls almost made Madara feel sorry for the zombies.

Sealing away the last of the White Zetsus, the original Madara Uchiha furiously charged up to Itachi, who stood flamboyantly on a rock.

The irreverent youth would pay for delaying his plans.

Madara grabbed Itachi's head practically screamed, "**Human Path****: Soul Reap**!"

Itachi's eyes rolled up…

Madara smirked.

…and Itachi's body dissolved into a flock of crows.

Madara stood still for a moment, stunned.

He turned his head in time to see Minato and Itachi running to the huddle of survivors.

Uchiha Madara watched in horror as Minato teleported the Rookie Nine, Team Baki, Sasuke, Tobirama, and _Itachi_ to who-knows-where.

They had escaped.

All of them.

Madara seethed. "Damn you, Tobirama. Damn you and your Clone Jutsu!"

* * *

After a heavy landing, the entire group lay sprawled across the floor of the Uzumaki Clan Shrine.

Naruto blinked. "Is that…is that you, Dad?"

Minato smiled gently. "I hope I didn't arrive too late."

Then began a chorus of people yelling something along the lines of, "What?! Naruto's the son of the Fourth?!"

"Silence!"

Everyone looked at Itachi.

"As you know, Madara is nearly invincible. He has the Sage's Rinnegan, Hashirama's Mokuton, the Slugs' Sage Mode, and the Uchiha's chakra. But we have a plan to stop him."

The younger ninja began clamoring.

"What is it?"

"That's impossible!"

"Stopping Madara? Are you mad?"

"That's beyond troublesome."

"I trust you, Itachi! Believe it! What's the plan?"

Itachi breathed deeply. They would not take this well.

"It involves fuuinjutsu, dojutsu, demonic energy, selling our souls, and a whole lot of guts."

Silence.

Then Naruto, predictably, broke the silence. "Well, what the fuck is it?"

Itachi sighed.

"Time travel."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Chapter 5:**

_Revolutionaries are great; peaceful revolutionaries are greater still. The greatest of them all once said, "A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act."_

_Sacrifice is the most immense indication of character. It shows love, humility, concern, determination, and a multitude of other factors that I don't have._

_Some people never sacrifice; they use others as tools for their own end. These people may prosper from the pain of others, but they ultimately cannot hope to stand up to the potency of a pure heart. The selfish can hate all they want, but they will never overcome the genuinely protective will of the meek._

_Most importantly, those who sacrifice themselves presumably have others to sacrifice for, and those who use others eventually run out of allies._

_The one who tries to take on the unity of others, the sacrifice of others, through sheer hatred and force has no chance for one reason._

_He no longer has anything to fight for._

* * *

Shikamaru was the first to respond to Itachi. "Time travel is…impossible, isn't it?"

Sakura joined in. "Doesn't it violate the law of causality?"

Ever so intelligently, Choji quipped, "And even if it _were _possible, it'd take way more chakra than any of us possibly could use."

Naruto cleared his throat noisily in response to Choji's comment.

Itachi explained, "It does sound far-fetched, but the premise seems to be solid. Tobirama, Minato, and I really _can _send you all into the past. It's a really convoluted 3-part plan, but we can do it."

A certain blonde yelled out, "Yeah! Believe it!"

A little annoyed, Itachi continued. "You're all familiar with the Flying Thunder God Jutsu of the Second and Fourth Hokages, right?"

Everyone nodded their consent.

Itachi continued, "Then I'm going to tell you about Part 1 of our plan, which is the actual time-travel. The Flying Raijin is called space-time ninjutsu for a reason. The seals mark a position not only in space, but also in time. So theoretically, Minato and Tobirama can travel not only to the _place _where they marked the seal, but also the _time. _It's just much easier to transition in space than it is in time. Now, Tobirama will be in charge of the space-time fuuinjutsu."

The Second Hokage nodded.

"But it's not that simple," Itachi said. "Of course, to transfer all of your souls back in time would be to cheat death via rebirth, essentially. The Shinigami would be after your souls in seconds. Therefore, to allow safe passage in time, Minato here will be performing a variant of the Reaper Death Seal, a contract of sorts with the Shingami."

Almost everyone scratched their heads at this point. Contract with the Shinigami?

It sounded ridiculous.

Minato added, "This contract will ensure that each of you gets to the past safely, but it also sells the souls of the users to the Shingami."

"NO!" shouted Naruto. "You can't do that!"

Most of the Rookie Nine murmured assent. Even Gaara looked disturbed by the prospect of the Shingami.

"It's alright," assured Tobirama. "Minato and I have spent the last few years together in the Shingami's stomach. We can handle it."

Minato added, "And plus, while Tobirama will go straight to the Shingami's stomach, I'd only be sealed once I died since I was still alive when I made the seal."

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

Ever the social trendsetter, Sasuke spoke up. "Then what are you doing, brother?"

Itachi smiled. "We'll be violating the very laws of the universe. Our souls would never make it to the past because they'd relativistically slow down as they approached fast-than-light speeds. In order to accomplish this plan _without _our souls being stuck in time, I'll be performing a larger form of the Izanagi using Naruto's chakra reserves to temporarily counter physics."

Sasuke gaped, as did everyone else who knew what Izanagi was. "Bro, you do remember that you're blind, right—"

Tobirama interrupted, "Your brother has ways of getting around that. Just shut up and listen. We don't have much time before Madara comes and kills us all."

"Cheerful," muttered Kiba. Shino smacked him.

Then Minato piped up. "So, does everyone understand what we're doing in Part 1 of the plan? Any questions?"

A single breath would have sounded deafening in the all-pervading silence that followed.

Clearly, they didn't get it.

Sakura started awkwardly. "So basically, your jutsu is a modified space-time Flying Thunder God Transportation Technique powered by a Bijuu-enhanced, physics-defying Izanagi with a supplemental soul-transferring Dead Demon Consuming Seal turned into a contract?"

Itachi beamed. "Exactly."

* * *

Madara finished sealing the Juubi.

He was now the jinchuuriki of the Ten-Tails.

As power coursed through his veins, he used a massive Almighty Push to launch himself into the sky and analyzed all of the major chakra signatures in the Elemental Nations.

The Kyuubi's chakra signature was unmistakable.

Madara flew using the Deva Path's abilities and launched himself in the direction of the evil chakra.

"I will take you, Kyuubi. And make your container suffer."

* * *

"So where in the past exactly are we going?" Naruto asked. "The Chuunin Exams are kind of where everything got crazy."

The Rookie Nine and Team Baki nodded, remembering the Invasion of Konoha.

Minato shook his head. "That's Part 2 of the plan. Remember, this works just like the regular Flying Thunder God: I can only travel to places I've placed a seal on. And the most recent Flying Thunder God seal that we can use is…"

"From the night of the Kyuubi attack," finished Itachi. "Since Naruto is the youngest here, all of you should be alive on that day."

(**A/N: I know that Hinata is technically younger than Naruto, but I had a choice between killing off Hinata and changing her birthday by 2 months. I have a feeling that killing off Hinata would get me death threats...so, yeah. Deal with the slight twisting of facts.)**

Shikamaru suddenly snapped to attention. "Wait, all of us except maybe Temari and Kankuro will be infants!"

Everyone looked at him with an expression that said 'duh.'

The Nara clarified. "What good is it to travel back in time if none of us have developed a brain with long-term memory yet? Babies only have short-term memories! So if we transfer our consciousnesses to baby bodies...we'll just forget everything from our previous lives and revert to normal babies in under a day!"

Itachi nodded. "You're exactly right. But based on what I know, most of you can seal your memories inside your mind through some method."

The teenagers all looked at each other in utter confusion. None of them had a clue what Itachi was talking about.

None of them, of course, except Shikamaru.

Shikamaru pondered the thought and agreed. "Naruto has the Kyuubi mindscape, and I assume that the upper planes of consciousness should be able to retain information. Troublesome, but that'd work, right? And Gaara has the former Shukaku mindscape, so even without a Bijuu, he could store the information. Sasuke...can use the Tsukuyomi on his own subconscious mind! If Freud is to be trusted, I think his superego should withhold the information. And I think Sakura can use her Yin Seal to preserve her memories…"

Gaara, Sasuke, and Sakura nodded. Naruto scratched his head in confusion, clearly not getting it. Kurama banged his against against his cage inside Naruto's mind in frustruation. _'Why is my host so stupid,' the Kyuubi moaned._

Realizing the ramifications of Shikamaru's discourse, Sakura continued on excitedly. "Hinata can deliver a Gentle Fist strike to her hippocampus for memory retention, Shino can transfer memories into his kikaichu, and I think Ino can come up with something using her Mind Transfer Jutsu?"

Ino nodded. Hinata and Shino pondered the statement.

It looked as if time travel really was starting to look plausible. Naruto, Gaara, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, and Ino all seemed to be qualified to follow through with the memory-sealing plan, and Temari and Kankuro would already be old enough to forgo it anyway.

Sakura hesitantly continued. "I think that's everyone who's fit for time travel. Which leaves…"

Shikamaru looked at Choji and Kiba uncomfortably. "Us."

* * *

Madara felt the Kyuubi's chakra coming from the direction of Konoha.

"Those vermin will see what true power is. In less than an hour, I will be unresisted in the shinobi world."

* * *

Shino wanted to be clear. "I wish to clarify certain subsets of the 'plan' that we've been in discourse with regards to. Part 1 of the plan is the actual time-travel jutsu, and Part 2 of the plan is getting everyone to retain their memories, correct?"

Tobirama, Itachi, and Minato nodded.

"Then what, if I may ask, is Part 3?" asked Shino. He really wanted to know; curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Minato answered, "That involves me. See, Part 2 will work, but your memories will all be dormant, so you guys won't actually be able to access them. So basically, I'll be coming around after a couple of years to unseal all of your memories or whatever. It shouldn't be too much of a hassle because I'll have access to all of you in Konoha except Gaara. Temari and Kankuro can handle him when the time comes."

Shino nodded. That made sense. "And what come after Part 3? Do we just repeat what happened in this timeline?"

Tobirama shook his head. "No, you all will go and _KICK. THE. AKATSUKI'S. ASS. _Without them, I don't think Madara can come back, and you all should be able to take care of them pretty easily. Unfortunately, I won't be able to help, but I'm sure y'all will be fine."_  
_

"Hell yeah!" yelled out Naruto. "Ass-kicking is my specialty!"

Crickets. Silence.

"...any other questions?" asked Itachi dryly. "No? Not a single one? Then get to work. We have a plan to carry out."

* * *

Madara rushed through the air, breaking the sonic barrier. A trail of superheated air followed behind him, and the ruins of the numerous Tailed Beast Bombs from the previous battle smoked beneath him.

The border of the Fire Country approached rapidly. Forests untouched by Madara's chakra stood ahead.

Untouched by his chakra? Madara would fix that soon.

* * *

Everyone was busy at work.

Minato and Tobirama were furiously studying the scrolls in the Uzumaki Clan Shrine, working on modifications to their respective component seals for the time travel.

Naruto and Kurama were gathering as much chakra as possible for Itachi. Already, Itachi had Kurama's shroud and the orange eye pigmentation of a sage.

Shikamaru was working on a plan for when the others finally did arrive in the past. He mapped out exactly which Akastuki bases they'd hit and how they'd eliminate each member.

Shino, Kiba, and Hinata were standing on guard to detect any enemies. Team 8's reconnaissance specialty came in handy here.

Sasuke helped the group by summoning as many small hawks as he could to survey the surrounding area. They'd detect Madara as soon as he arrived.

Gaara and Sasuke were straining to maintain the massive glass dome that they had built. Sasuke had nearly gone into chakra exhaustion from heating so much sand. Gaara himself was none too energetic from subtly recoloring part of the glass to make the shrine looks like plain forest; his sand armor was easy enough to pigment, but this scale was something else entirely.

Ino was slumped over, unconscious. Within her mindscape, a chibi-Ino focused on creating a memory-sealing jutsu.

The only one not involved in a task was Choji.

It seemed that none of his abilities were needed at the moment, and he wouldn't even be able to help in the alternate timeline.

He was 'unfit' for time travel.

He kicked his chair in frustration.

Choji turned to Itachi and asked in a restrained voice, "Itachi, are you sure there's nothing I can do?"

Itachi sighed. "There is something you can do, but I just really don't want you to do it."

Shoving down his impatience, Choji asked, "What is it?"

Itachi turned away. "My Sharingan is necessary for this jutsu to succeed. I already used an Izanagi and an Izanami. They've both been sealed into the Death God."

Confused, Choji asked, "So what can I do about it?"

Itachi sadly looked at him. The Kurama shroud around the Uchiha flickered.

"The only way to release something from the Death God's Seal is to put on the Shingami mask…and commit seppuku."

* * *

The Kyuubi's chakra signature was deliciously close now.

Madara broke into a psychopathic grin.

The impressive glass dome in the distance would have fooled anyone else, but it would not have fooled a Sharingan.

And especially not his Rinnegan.

And the thought of deceiving Hashirama's Sage Mode was laughable.

Just a few minutes, and the Kyuubi brat and Uchiha upstart would be his to kill.

A hawk nearby burst into smoke.

* * *

Sasuke's eyes flew open. "Madara is just minutes away. He's flying, and he's…changed. His hair is white, he has horns, and he has black orbs rotating around him."

Itachi looked stricken. "He's absorbed the Juubi."

Choji took a deep breath. "Is Itachi the only one capable of stalling him for a significant amount of time?"

Everyone in the group thought about it.

"Yes," admitted Naruto.

"Probably," agreed Sasuke.

Choji stood up. "Alright, where's the Shingami mask?"

Half of dozen of Choji's friends jumped up and shouted in an incoherent wave of responses.

"NO!"

"Choji, you don't have to do this!"

"Hn. Don't be rash. Maybe we can see another way?"

"Please, no. We can find another way!"

"Don't you dare think about it! We'll all come out of this alive, believe it!"

"Dear god, Choji, don't be troublesome now!"

Choji stamped his foot on the ground, an uncharacteristic display of fortitude and emotion from him.

Everyone stopped clamoring immediately. The nice, lovable, chubby nin _never _got angry. Well, except when people called him fat.

"I've got to do this," Choji said quietly. "It _is _the only way, and even the _best_ case scenario involves me completely forgetting who I am. Guys, I'll have no regrets dying to beat the hell out of Madara."

The thick-boned Akimichi was ready to make the ultimate sacrifice for his friends.

* * *

Black Zetsu grew giddy with excitement. He'd found the ninja scum just before his master!

Using his Mayfly jutsu, Black Zetsu poked his head through the ground into the darkest corner of the room and reduced his chakra flow to nearly zero.

His black head blended almost perfectly into the shadowy backdrop, and no sensor ninja could detect such a miniscule signature.

There was no one who could detect him…

Hinata jumped. "There's…there's an intruder!"

…other than a Hyuuga. Fuck.

Before Black Zetsu could even blink, two red eyes stared at him in the dark. The tomoe spun round and round until they met in the center, and Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan formed in the center of the eye. The twin Sharingan burned fear into Black Zetsu's psyche; the ugly plant-man would've wet his pants right then and there, except for the fact that he didn't wear pants and the fact that his body couldn't urinate. Black Zetsu tried to move, but he found that he couldn't. It seemed that the Sharingan had paralyzed him in terror.

"I revived thousands of creatures that were just like you," Itachi said. "I know that physical injuries won't be effective enough since you can split yourself. So just to be sure, I'll seal you away."

The last thing that Black Zetsu saw was a gourd pointed straight at him and a red flash.

* * *

Itachi smiled. Having his Sharingan back was nice. He prayed to kami that Choji would be a prince in heaven for his sacrifice.

* * *

The Shingami pouted. He had rather liked having the Sword of Totsuka and the Yata Mirror.

* * *

Everyone in the Uzumaki Mask Temple prayed for Choji's soul.

If he didn't live on as a kami, the Rookie Nine would flip out.

Ino couldn't stop crying.

Shikamaru's eyes looked forlorn.

Itachi was determined to make the most of the Akimichi's sacrifice. He had a plan to stall Madara, and he'd be damned to hell if it didn't work.

* * *

"Is this plan really going to buy us enough time?" asked Kankuro doubtfully. "Honestly, Madara is one of the greatest geniuses ever. I'm pretty sure he'd see through something so simple."

Itachi smirked. "Trust me; this plan is _especially _tailored to geniuses like him."

* * *

Just half a mile away from the Uzumaki Clan Shrine, Madara's flight was stopped by a giant tomoe-shaped ball of ethereal chakra.

Even with his chakra shield, Madara slowed down to a stop from the impact of the blast alone. As the flame died out around his black chakra shield, Madara emerged from his liquid cocoon.

Itachi, clad in Susanoo and all, stood in front of him, smirking.

Madara snarled, "Young Uchiha, you die today. I will _not _allow someone who—"

Itachi suddenly yelled, "The Eye of the Moon Plan will never work because people _can _truly understand each other!"

Stunned, Madara waited a moment to let Itachi's comment sink in.

Then, in a storming fury, Madara raged. "You know nothing! Do you know what pain I've been through? My own brother was killed, and my entire clan decided to join his killers! And they created the systemized killing that…"

* * *

"A variant of the Talk no Jutsu?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Wow, I'm so flattered."

Itachi nodded. "I call it the Stall no Jutsu."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: I'm looking for a beta reader, so if you're interested, please PM me. Any help is welcomed.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.**

**Chapter 6:**

_As always, a quote: "Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time."_

_Even the best of heroes make mistakes. It's hard being a pioneer, and it's inevitable that new ordeals will contain events that simply cannot be planned for._

_So the most brilliant of individuals really can't be blamed if he/she makes a single mistake in a whirlwind of ingenious achievements._

_However._

_Even if that person can't be blamed, time won't just erase those mistakes easily-that's just not how nature works._

_And mistakes have consequences._

* * *

"A variant of the Talk no Jutsu?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Wow, I'm so flattered."

Itachi nodded. "I call it the Stall no Jutsu."

"How much longer do you three need to perform the jutsu?" questioned Sakura.

Minato grimaced. "At least 8 minutes."

Tobirama shook his head. "10, minimum."

Shikamaru noticed Itachi's smile drop.

"And how long, pray tell," Shikamaru said through gritted teeth, "will your plan stall Madara?"

Itachi admitted, "Maybe 5 minutes, if I'm lucky."

* * *

5 minutes later, Madara's rant slowed to a close.

"And don't even get me STARTED on Onoki. The brat had the gall to challenge me in my prime, citing his 'ideals' and how he could overcome me with the power of 'love.' And then the little _bitch _goes and stabs all his allies in the back as soon as he's Tsuchikage. And he hires the fucking Akatsuki!"

Itachi half-heartedly protested, "But he found his heart in the end, right? I think you should consider his strengths as well as his weaknesses."

Madara snorted. "The little bastard….wait a minute," he said as he came to realization. "Wait one fucking minute, Uchiha. You're trying to stall me, aren't you?"

Itachi sheepishly shrugged. "Worth a try, right?"

Madara snarled. "You're going to die really painfully."

Itachi activated his full Susanoo. "That's nice, but I'm already dead."

* * *

Rivulets of sweat covered Gaara's face.

"How much longer do you guys need? I'm trying desperately to keep the shockwaves from the battle outside to a minimum for you guys, but I can't hold up much longer."

Tobirama grunted in exertion and explained, "Do you realize how hard it is to keep a stabilized tunnel through space-time fabric? If your souls encounter any planar vibrations on the way back, you're all done for. No, keep up the good work, Gaara. Or else."

Minato timidly piped up. "Oh, and we'll probably need another 10 minutes. The notarization of our soul signatures is taking a little long."

Gaara could not prevent a scream of frustration.

* * *

9 minutes after Gaara's epic scream, Itachi was getting desperate.

'I just need to hold him off just a little bit longer,' thought Itachi. 'I can't afford to make any mistakes.'

His Yata Mirror had saved his ass more times than he could count, but Itachi's reflexes were no match for Madara's speed.

And the Yata Mirror couldn't protect him from behind.

Itachi would eventually lose. He just had to delay that moment as much as possible.

Madara laughed. "Those relics of your are impressive. But they can't match my raw power."

The elder Uchiha blitzed behind Itachi and blasted a spray of bullets made from his black liquid chakra.

For the firs time, Itachi's Susanoo was too slow to turn around and block with the Yata Mirror.

His Susanoo's back shattered, leaving him completely exposed.

The rest of the ethereal warrior dissolved soon after.

Madara slowly floated over to a collapsed Itachi, savoring his victory. "I wonder why you aren't using Izanagi. Too proud?"

Shaking his head, Itachi admitted, "I actually can't."

Madara grabbed Itachi's head, preparing to suck out Itachi's soul.

"And why not?" asked Madara.

Itachi burst into a flock of crows.

"Because I'm a Shadow Clone."

* * *

Itachi groaned. "My crow clone just dissolved."

Almost everyone voiced their thoughts in unison. "FUCK!"

Shino asked, "According to Mr. Namikaze's previous estimate, we still have 1 minute to go, right?"

With a nod, Minato said, "A little under, but yes."

Kiba groaned and got up. "I'll stall him."

"NO!" Naruto shouted as he jumped up. "I will. I have more chakra—I've literally spent all of my time here charging up."

Kiba shook his head. "Naruto, we need you to go into the past. Sending me would be a waste of time since I can't seal my memories. The least I can do for you guys is to make sure you all arrive safely. We don't have time to argue."

The Inuzuka finally shouted, "**Transformation Jutsu**!"

With that, he jumped out the door and left.

* * *

Madara's blood was boiling. That marked the second time that Tobirama's fucking jutsu had fooled him.

He leapt into the air much like a gamma-irradiated green monster and landed by the glass dome.

Just as Madara was about to shatter the shoddy defense, an opening appeared in it.

A cloaked figure popped out.

It was just as Madara expected.

Madara chuckled. "So, Itachi, you've come to fight like a real man. _In person_."

'Itachi' smiled mirthlessly. Kiba was, to be frank, shocked that Madara didn't see right through the Henge.

But he had no time to be shocked. He had to play this out to save his friends.

The Inuzuka thought, 'Thank you for being such a bitch, Sasuke. Your obnoxious monologues are finally useful. Stall no Jutsu, go!'

Kiba did his best impression of a snobby Uchiha.

"Hn. I will avenge those you killed, because, uh, I'm an avenger. And, um, all your techniques are useless before these eyes."

Madara advanced forward dangerously. "And why is that, brat?"

Kiba nervously said, "Because you have underestimated how much I can truly see?"

"Ah, I see. Spoken like a true Uchiha," laughed Madara. "But your sight is useless if your body isn't fast enough to REACT!"

With that, Madara blitzed behind Kiba, expecting the Susanoo to pop out and block with the Yata Mirror. He was surprised with his black staff hit the youth without resistance.

Poof.

The staff ripped straight through Kiba's chest.

Kiba coughed up blood.

As the smoke revealed the mortally wounded Inuzuka, Kiba whispered, "And that was for Akamaru, bitch. Enjoy hell."

Madara was getting tired of falling for stall after stall. Especially such a simple Henge.

His arrogance had cost him again. His Rinnegan, Sharingan, Sage Mode, and just basic shinobi skills could have detected a Henge from a mile away.

But that was all useless if he didn't make use of it.

'Not that it'll make a difference,' mused Madara. 'Considering they'll all be dead in a minute, anyway.'

Oh, Madara. If only you knew.

* * *

Naruto whispered, "Dad, are you done?"

Minato scribbled furiously. "Almost. Just a few more seconds."

Tobirama and Itachi prepared their jutsus, knowing that every second saved counted.

Triumphantly, Minato whooped. "Alright, I'm—"

The glass dome shattered, and Madara blasted through the shrine's roof like a meteor.

The Juubi's jinchuuriki covered his entire body with black chakra spikes and began to glow.

* * *

Everyone in the room thought he/she would die that instant. Naruto closed his eyes and hugged Hinata.

Sasuke's Susanoo instinctively materialized to protect himself and a certain pink-haired teammate.

Said teammate kept sobbing with Ino over Choji's smiling corpse; his death would not go unavenged.

Shino closed his eyes. Madara was so illogical.

Gaara's sand started to move to protect his family.

The last vestiges of the shinobi world faced almost certain death, but they wouldn't go down without a fight.

Madara snarled and began to attack...

...only to stop mid-lunge.

Naruto opened one eye. None of them were dead, and Madara was standing stock-still.

"Shadow Imitation Technique, success."

* * *

Shikamaru poured all of his chakra into the binding jutsu. He was pretty sure no other Nara had ever been drained of chakra so quickly. But Minato, Tobirama, and Itachi only needed a few more seconds to complete their jutsu, and he'd be damned if he couldn't stall for at least a few seconds.

Thanking the heavens for Shikamaru's timely jutsu, Itachi flipped through the rabbit, boar, and ram seals. He shouted, "**IZANAGI**!"

The room shimmered.

Minato followed by yelling, "**DEAD DEMON CONSUMING SEAL****: REAPER CONTRACT**!"

Everyone's bodies glowed white for an instant.

Only Tobirama's part of the jutsu remained.

And Madara broke free of the Shadow Imitation.

Shikamaru's body collapsed, completely drained of chakra.

The chakra exhaustion was fatal, but Shikamaru really didn't care seeing as this timeline would cease to exist in seconds.

And seeing as he wasn't going to be time-traveling, chakra exhaustion was really not all that troublesome.

* * *

The epitome of fury, Madara lunged for Tobirama.

Tobirama, his brother's killer.

Tobirama, the thief of the Hokage title that should have been his.

Tobirama, the creator of the Clone Jutsu that had foiled his plans so.

Tobirama, the final component of the time-travel jutsu that Madara saw right through.

Madara's killing intent had already knocked half of the Konoha ninja out, but he was too slow to get to the Second Hokage.

Tobirama had already slammed his seal on the floor. "**FLYING THUNDER GOD JUTSU****: LEVEL THREE**!"

The time travel jutsu was complete.

And everything turned black.

* * *

Darkness surrounded everyone in the Uzumaki Mask Temple.

Gradually, each of their bodies began glowing white again.

An explosion of energy came from Tobirama's seal and swallowed everyone up in a huge column of light, which vanished.

They were gone.

* * *

_16 years ago..._

"Oh my god! It's the Kyuubi!"

Konoha was in chaos. So no one noticed when a huge column of light and energy came crashing down on the outskirts of the village.

One soul emerged from the aurora-like spectacle and flew into Minato, who had just defeated a certain masked man.

Another shot into the sky and bombarded the Kyuubi's body.

Madara's soul screamed as it dissolved without a body to go to.

15 other souls flew to their respective bodies in the Elemental Nations.

* * *

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Shino, Ino, Gaara, Kankuro, and Temari all opened their eyes, struggling to remember who they were.

* * *

Shikamaru opened up his eyes. He blinked. Did the jutsu not work? He certainly couldn't feel any of his memories fading.

The hand in front of his eyes was definitely not his, though. It was way too small, almost like a baby's…

"It worked," Shikamaru whispered. Well, actually, it sounded like "Ba durrr," but his vocal chords would develop in due time.

'Do I have an eidetic memory? I never noticed before, but…that's the only explanation. No wonder my IQ is 200+.'

From then on, Shikamaru considered himself the luckiest bastard in the universe.

On a day when all but a dozen shinobi were massacred, he accidentally survived a suicide attempt.

Of course, that didn't make shinobi life any less troublesome.

* * *

Itachi woke up in the middle of a horrible bloodbath.

Skeletal carcasses were brutally tearing flesh apart, and the scale of the battle was too large for even Itachi's eyes to tell.

"Enjoying the view, Itachi Uchiha?"

Itachi turned around to see a bluish, gaunt figure with a wild mane of white hair. The Shinigami. "Ah, Mr. Death. I've been waiting to see you awhile."

"No, no, the pleasure is mine. Welcome to my stomach."

Confused, Itachi gestured around. "How are you inside your own-"

"Don't ask. I just have a quick message to deliver to you. Mr. Namikaze, bless his soul, made a slight mistake in his contract."

Horrified, Itachi quickly asked, "You mean that the time travel failed?"

The Shinigami laughed gratingly. "No, no. Nothing of the sort. It's just that Minato never realized that you'd be alive during the Kyuubi attack."

Itachi looked affronted. "You mean-"

The Shinigami nodded. "He thought you were older than he was."

Disgruntled, Itachi muttered something to himself about wrinkle treatments that he should have taken before coming to a startling realization. "You mean I'm free?"

The Death God roared with laughter. The chuckle of the Death God was enough to make even Happy the Dwarf scowl in displeasure. "Ha! No, you were still a caster of the time-traveling jutsu. So your soul still belongs to me, Uchiha."

Although a bit disappointed, Itachi pressed on. "Do I at least get to return to my body?"

The Reaper of Souls doubled over, laughing. God, the sound was annoying. "Yes, you get to return to your body, but you'll wish you didn't have to."

Itachi was confused. "And why not?"

The Shinigami explained. "You erased quite a lot of deaths. Accidental deaths, murders, natural deaths, you erased them all. You need to make that up."

Thinking he understood, Itachi nodded. "So you need me to murder as many people as possible in order to balance it out, right?"

Silence.

The Death God was at a loss of words. Then it laughed maniacally. Itachi half-expected it to go on a homicidal spree.

"No, of course not," wheezed the Shinigami. "That wouldn't be possible even for the Sage of Six Paths. No, I just want you to kill one soul. This soul did more than its fair share on earth, and I never had the chance to collect the soul because it vanished."

Itachi had a sinking feeling and asked even though he already knew. "Who?"

The Shinigami answered with a smile.

The Uchiha struggled to maintain composure. "Anything else?"

The Shinigami smirked, "Just enjoy life. I have souls to collect. Goodbye."

Itachi opened his eyes to see an infant Sasuke trying to use a Tsukuyomi on himself.

The now-5-year-old Uchiha had a lot on his plate. But for the first in forever, Itachi was truly happy.

Oh, Itachi. If only you knew.

* * *

Several other people in the Elemental Nations were visited by souls of the future.

* * *

Black Zetsu woke up.

* * *

Hiruzen tripped over as a deluge of memories flooded him.

* * *

Nagato blinked. "Where am I?"

* * *

Orochimaru simpered and licked his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But I do own this fic.**

**Chapter 7:**

_Evil is timeless._

_No matter what people do to try to stop it, evil always seems to come back._

_Why? Because it does. Good and evil are like yin and yang; one cannot die whilst the other survives._

_So even in the best of light and brightest of day, evil somehow follows. It even manages to follow in the unlikeliest of circumstances._

_Even in this one._

* * *

Itachi Uchiha is a genius.

Not only is he incredibly astute in his observations and quick in his wit, but he's also a master at engineering brilliant plans and executing them to a "T."

But unfortunately, Itachi Uchiha is but a human.

And humans make mistakes.

Just as the Rookie Nine were borne once again in the past, a couple of unaccounted-for souls zoomed out of the time portal and besieged their respective bodies.

The first one to cause trouble, as always, was Orochimaru.

* * *

The devastated village of Konoha was utterly shocked to see the Kyuubi blink a few times, grin toothily, and lie down.

Some thought that it was insulting the Hidden Leaf Village by lazily stretching its tails. Others correctly thought that it was just bored.

Orochimaru observed the beast impassively. Fighting it wasn't his job, thank goodness. The sannin continued his mission in evacuating citizens of Konoha from the Kyuubi when, suddenly, a glowing ball of energy came up behind him.

No one noticed the malevolent soul take over his body.

The purple sphere plunged into Orochimaru's back, merging with his current soul. The sannin froze up, paralyzed by the odd sensation of becoming someone else. His mind made room for a new personality, and Orochimaru (who hadn't yet fully descended into mania) fell to the dark side of the shinobi in mere seconds.

Then the new memories started trickling in.

A wall of information slammed into Orochimaru's consciousness. Even with his incredible intellect, the sannin was unable to process so many memories. Overwhelmed by knowledge, he leaned against a wall, gasping for breath as he "recalled" his life as a missing-nin and an enemy of Konoha.

Orochimaru had time-traveled. And after acclimating to his newfound persona from the future, Orochimaru simpered and licked his lips.

He knew at least twice as many jutsu now, and he had a healthy body to boot. Orochimaru immediately began doing what he did best: scheming.

It only took a few moments to decide his course of action.

It was such a _shame_ that Minato was going to "accidentally" die, leaving the snake sannin as the only viable candidate for the next Hokage.

Unfortunately, Orochimaru didn't know that Minato, too, had time-traveled.

* * *

Minato had just destroyed Tobi's body with a Rasengan, and what did the masked man do?

Lecture.

"I must hand it to the Fourth Hokage," Tobi admitted. "But the Kyuubi will be my plaything again."

Neither of the two noticed a bright yellow apparition soaring through the sky towards them.

Minato's mind rapidly thought of ways to get rid of the Nine Tails after the masked man left, when all of his ideas came to a complete halt. The yellow sphere of energy started to sink into the Fourth Hokage's chest, and Minato's future self began assimilating into his body.

Identity, memory, beliefs…everything swirled around like a Rasengan-gone-wrong inside Minato's head. Some images of the future clarified in his mind—Minato "remembered" how he had sealed the Kyuubi and how he'd woken up in the middle of the Fourth Shinobi War.

And as Minato struggled to fight off the hammering pain in his head, the grievously wounded masked man continued his speech about taking over the world.

"I'm going to take over the world," Tobi declared as he vanished into the Kamui dimension. "And there are so many ways of going about that."

'Yup,' thought Minato. 'He sounds as loony and dangerous as ever.'

Minato disappeared in a yellow flash to save his village once again.

* * *

Zetsu watched the battle between the Fourth Hokage and Tobi dispassionately.

Both halves of the plant-man were so focused on the battle that neither noticed the pitch-black ball of darkness approaching them. Like so many others on that day, this sphere approached its former body.

But this soul, Black Zetsu's soul, was a bit different.

Recall that Zetsus are clones of Hashirama. Each of them possesses a twisted bit of Hashirama's essence, his soul, in them.

Recall again that Madara created Black Zetsu with a Yin-Yang transformation on a White Zetsu by implanting 'his own will' in it. Really, Black Zetsu's mind is a unique fusion between the souls of Madara and Hashirama, except that his psyche has been further evolved from a simple mixture by Zetsu's own experiences.

Regardless of the nature of the soul, though, the black sphere slowly entered Black Zetsu's body, causing a flurry of energetic activity in the artificial body.

White Zetsu prepared to travel back to the lair, but a moan stopped him. Was his other half…actually groaning in pain? Black Zetsu never showed emotion.

Yes, Black Zetsu moaned for once; his head felt like it was going to burst. The memories of the days of the Akatsuki and the Eye of the Moon plan flooded his fragile mind. His flimsy goo-body wasn't made to handle two lifetimes' worth of stress at once.

But the "offspring" of Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha braved through the pain. Black Zetsu was made of tougher stuff than other clones.

He, too, had time-traveled.

* * *

The baby Naruto looked like he was slumbering in his empty (and devoid of foxes) mindscape, Naruto screamed like a madman on opiates.

The sudden rush of his future self into his premature consciousness couldn't have been more painful.

Not only did his tiny head feel like it was about to explode, but also he could barely hold onto his memories at all. Naruto could feel himself forgetting things already. Babies, as Shikamaru pointed out, don't have long-term memories.

Clinging to his most important memories, Naruto struggled to retain his identity for as long as possible. Team 7, Jiraiya, defeating Pain, coming back in time. The blonde boy reined in the key events of his previous life, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold on. Could his dad arrive in time?

A yellow flash.

It was a good thing Minato Namikaze teleported so quickly.

* * *

Coming back from his battle with Tobi, Minato landed (sprawling) on the floor of his safehouse. Taking in his new surroundings, the Fourth Hokage noticed his wife resting peacefully in the bed. He also noticed his son's face scrunched up in concentration.

The blonde Hokage placed his hands on their heads and prepared to perform one final task for the night.

Minato Namikaze had already located the masked man, defeated Tobi, and freed the Kyuubi from the masked man's grip. But he had a duty, both as Hokage and time traveler, to ensure that Konoha would be as safe as possible. As painful as it was, Minato still had to remove the Nine Tails the same way as last time.

The Fourth Hokage's set his final task for the night: to seal the Kyuubi in Naruto again.

"**Hiraishin**!" mumbled an exhausted Minato. The Namikaze family dropped gently next to the greatest of the Bijuu.

Considering that the Kyuubi was on his side this time around _and_ that Minato had actually done this exact seal before, this should be a piece of cake.

Maybe Minato would even survive the sealing process this time?

* * *

Kurama looked on in amusement as the Hokage's family arrived, each of them in a sorry state.

Well, Kushina looked almost comatose.

Minato looked exhausted enough to have run a long-distance race against Rock Lee.

And little Naruto, although he tried to hide it, was probably going through an identity crisis.

Hah. The Kyuubi was pretty proud of itself for that pun. Ha.

Kurama breathed in the fresh autumn air and enjoyed the scent of freedom. This would be his last night outside a cage in a while.

A poof of smoke caught the fox's attention. Ah, yes—Minato had summoned the ritual altar.

Kurama sighed and resigned himself to his fate. After all, there were far worse hosts than Naruto.

* * *

He'd completed all the preparations for the sealing. Nothing could be more perfect about the seal. This time, Naruto would even get both the Yin and Yang halves of Kurama's chakra since the Kyuubi cooperated.

But Minato still wanted to make sure of one last thing.

"Uh, Kurama," Minato called. "You _do _know how to seal Naruto's memories, right?"

Kushina was utterly perplexed. Why was Minato talking to the beast? But she was too exhausted to care.

Naruto was concentrating too much to even hear Minato. If he could hear Minato, he would've tried to say that Kurama would create a pocket of information storage in the subconscious of their shared mindscape. He would've also _failed_ due to underdeveloped vocal chords, but that's beside the point.

Kurama rolled his eyes at the question and gave a thumbs up.

"Alright, then, Kyuubi," Minato said dubiously. "I may need a bit of your chakra and Kushina's help in order to fully seal you."

After a moment, Kushina realized what Minato meant. Understanding, she projected her trademark Uzumaki chakra chains to bind the Kyuubi's chakra.

Still needing a bit more energy, Minato looked at the Kyuubi and nodded. Kurama tapped Minato gently with a claw and siphoned off a good portion of foxy chakra. The Fourth Hokage drank in the chakra and stabilized the excess energy.

Everything was perfect.

So, with Kurama's chakra shroud in place, Minato unwittingly performed the last containment seal that he would ever make. "**EIGHT TRIGAMS SEAL**!"

In picture-perfect fashion, the seal on Naruto's belly sucked in Kurama's essence, absorbing the Nine-Tails whole. The process went smoothly, draining Minato's red chakra shroud to nothing. Kushina's chains disappeared, having completed their task perfectly. Minato dropped to the ground, panting, having performed his seal perfectly. Naruto's face relaxed, as Kurama had sealed away his future self perfectly.

_In the Kyuubi mindscape, an infant Naruto and the Kyuubi stood on opposite sides of the gate._

_"Kit, I'm going to be sealing your memories into an alternate persona for now, alright? You two will merge again when the time is right."_

_The baby nodded, understanding._

_A claw gently touched the baby's forehead. As it pulled away, a spectral form of a teenage Naruto Uzumaki emerged, following the Kyuubi's digit into the cage._

_"See you in a few years, Naruto," his older self said as he disappeared into the darkness of the cage._

Minato executed all of his perfect plans perfectly.

And that's where everything went wrong.

* * *

A newly-evil Orochimaru sauntered over to an exhausted Minato, a half-dead Kushina, and a sleeping Naruto.

"Kukuku, Minato," drawled the snake pedophile. "It seems that I am not the only one from the future. To see you alive again is quite the surprise."

Minato stared. Comprehension never dawned on the Fourth Hokage—no one had ever told him what Orochimaru had done in the future.

All he knew was that something went horribly, horribly wrong.

Minato shoved all of his enervation into the waste bin of his consciousness. This was no time to be tired. Orochimaru was dangerous.

Minato readied himself for battle in the event that his suspicions were correct. "Orochimaru, what are you—"

Orochimaru licked his lips. "**Summoning Jutsu**!"

With a huge explosion, a giant snake appeared.

* * *

The ANBU squad looked at each other in masked concern. Should they do something?

The Third Hokage rolled around on the ground, clutching his head. Hiruzen relived his most painful years: Minato's death, Orochimaru's betrayal, the departure of both Jiraiya and Tsunade, the Uchiha massacre, and his resurrection. But since Hiruzen's mind was easily the sharpest of any non-Nara ninja, the Third Hokage recovered quickly.

Hiruzen Sarutobi had time-traveled. It was only fitting that Hiruzen had joined his student Orochimaru in the past.

Now with all his memories intact, Hiruzen saw Manda materialize in the distance.

"Fuck."

* * *

"Orochimaru, you can't be serious," said an exasperated Minato. "My dying wife and newly-sealed jinchuuriki child are both here."

The sannin just smiled. "A true ninja takes advantage of every opportunity."

Behind them, Manda roared. "Where are my hundred sacrifices, fool?"

Orochimaru retorted. "Beast, you'll get your sacrifices when you—"

Poof.

Manda was gone, off in search of worthy prey once again.

"Stupid, disrespectful summon," Orochimaru grumbled. "Always have to do everything myself. No matter—I'll be taking the position of Hokage today, Minato. My rightful place!"

Minato burst in frustration, "Why, Orochimaru? I can't—"

The snake's kunai whizzed by, almost cutting a lock of Naruto's hair.

The Fourth Hokage stood there, stunned that someone would _actually _attack his son.

Then, in controlled rage, Minato swore, "You're an enemy of the Leaf now, having attacked a Konoha citizen and the Hokage. And don't you _dare_—"

A glowing chakra chain interrupted the Namikaze's statement. Kushina's chain flew at Orochimaru faster than the eye could follow, and it skewered the snake's leg, pinning him to the ground. The sannin tried to pull it out and escape, to no avail. Dozens of other chains pierced other parts of his body and wrapped around him in a cocoon of Uzumaki chakra.

"—_dare _attack Naruto," Kushina finished for Minato. She struggled to get out. "Go and bring our son to safety, Minato. I'll be fine."

Conflicted but having no other options, Minato nodded and disappeared in yellow flash, Naruto in tow.

Still completely immobilized on the ground, Orochimaru grit his teeth. "Damn you, Kushina!"

* * *

The Fourth Hokage flashed into the safehouse again.

Minato set a crying Naruto down in his crib. "I'll be back once I defeat Orochimaru, Naruto."

Suddenly, eyes flashing red and teeth sharpening, Naruto held out his fist. Almost like a…

"Fist bump?" said Minato incredulously. "You must have met Killer B in the future. I'm so sorry."

He bumped fists…

…and was astounded by what he found. Minato appeared in the Kyuubi mindscape, facing a caged Kyuubi and a teenage Naruto.

"Minato, Orochimaru turns into a monster in the future," Kurama informed. "He nearly revived you as an Edo Tensei. Hiruzen only defeated him with the Dead Demon Consuming Seal."

Minato's eyes widened. "That strong? And he somehow made it back to the past, so…"

Kurama agreed. "He'll be stronger than ever. Even Naruto would have had trouble defeating him, and he surpassed you in pretty much every regard but fuuinjutsu."

Pleased, Minato asked, "So he became a Toad Sage?"

Kurama nodded.

"And he completed the Rasengan? What's the secret?"

Kurama gave a toothy grin. "The Second's greatest jutsu."

* * *

Kushina struggled.

Her chakra chains were strong enough to contain a Tailed Beast, but she quite literally had no chakra left and was relying solely on her life force.

The same life force that was struggling to keep her alive.

Orochimaru struggled as well. These damn chains were indestructible, and he couldn't form seals.

He had never hated the Uzumakis more, and he had always hated that damn Naruto. The only option left was Oral Rebirth, and that halved his chakra.

Disgusted with himself, Orochimaru began molding his chakra to vomit a new body.

But before he could finish doing so, the snake sannin noticed Minato teleport next to Kushina.

Fuck.

And in the distance, he heard his sensei, the damn Third, yell out, "Orochimaru!"

Fuck.

* * *

Even as Hiruzen and Minato rushed towards Orochimaru and Kushina, Black Zetsu approached the battlefield.

Black Zetsu had seen Minato nearly kill Obito, and he knew that if Minato didn't die in this timeline, his true master had little hope of being reborn. Minato would foil all of Madara's plans.

Damn that soft-hearted Kyuubi—the fox had killed Minato last time! If the Kyuubi had time-traveled, then Black Zetsu would have to kill Minato himself this time.

Black Zetsu would eliminate the greatest threat to his master's plans, so he performed the only logical action.

He Mayflied into the battlefield, ready to fight the Hokages.

* * *

Three figures arrived on the field at around the same time.

Minato, Hiruzen, and Zetsu all looked ready to kill.

Orochimaru vomited to finish off the Oral Rebirth. Free at last, his new body stretched and entered a battle-ready stance. He had a look of bloodlust in his eyes.

The battle between 4 of the most powerful shinobi began.

* * *

Kushina retracted her chains. She had done her part, and it seemed that very little stood between her and death. Kushina heaved a sigh and closed her eyes.

The Shinigami made her death merciful.

* * *

From the Hokage monument, Danzo observed the 4-way battle.

He noted that Minato and Hiruzen made a fearsome combination against Orochimaru and the strange plant man.

This was his opportunity. He couldn't have been luckier. The dratted Namikaze who had stolen his rightful position as Hokage was fighting for his life.

His only viable replacements, Orochimaru and Hiruzen, were in the battle as well.

In other words, Danzo was watching the Hokage and all of the backup Hokages in a massive S-rank battle. All Danzo had to do was ensure that everyone in that fight died, and he would finally be Hokage.

And to top it all off, there was a Wood Style user in the mix. How intriguing.

Danzo leapt off the Hokage Monument and turned the 4-way battle into a 5-way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I am not Masashi Kishimoto, and I therefore do not own Naruto.**

**Chapter 8:**

Minato and Hiruzen stood in back-to-back fighting stances.

The ugly plant-thing was a tricky one to catch, and the snake never stayed in one spot for too long.

And Danzo went out of his way to be a pain in the ass whenever possible.

None of the three rogue ninja particularly cared who they hit.

* * *

It was pretty hard to figure out how the structure of the battle had spiraled out of control. It had started out as a paired battle.

Orochimaru apparently called dibs on Hiruzen, while the plant-thing was out for Minato's blood.

Both Hokages showed their enemies exactly why they were so feared.

* * *

The battle between the snake sannin and the God of Shinobi was one of brute strength.

They threw jutsu after jutsu at each other with no end. And it seemed at first that the two were evenly matched.

With his old age, Hiruzen's chakra reserves had substantially decreased.

On the other hand, Kushina had forced Orochimaru to Oral Rebirth earlier, effectively halving his chakra potential.

* * *

Hiruzen was too old for this.

Orochimaru's snake summons, although not as large as Manda, were certainly quite annoying.

The Professor never had time to summon Enma because of the ridiculous pace of the battle.

The prodigy student had even managed to scorch Hiruzen's leg with a particularly nasty Fire Style: Great Fireball.

The turning point in their matchup, ironically enough, was when Orochimaru's Wind Style: Great Breakthrough had cut a nasty gash in Hiruzen's arm.

The bleeding reduced the time needed to perform the Summoning Jutsu.

Reduced the time _just enough _for Hiruzen to call forth his best ally.

"**Summoning Jutsu****: Great Monkey King Enma**!"

Enma had kept the snake summons away from Hiruzen. And by this point, Hiruzen had steeled his resolve against his student.

You could almost pity the snake pedophile.

Orochimaru had struggled mightily, and it had kept him alive.

But just barely; Hiruzen was enraged.

And the God of Shinobi was terrifying when enraged.

After narrowly avoiding a Shadow Possession Jutsu and neutralizing a giant Water-style whirlpool, Orochimaru managed to block a furious Eight Trigrams: Sixty-Four Palms from his sensei.

'I suppose memorizing the body's tenketsu points is just as good as seeing them in real-time,' Orochimaru mused. 'He IS called the Professor for a reason.'

His musings were cut short by Hiruzen's signature Shadow Shuriken Technique. The jutsu had a chakra expenditure worthy of Naruto Uzumaki.

Orochimaru blanched. There had to be millions of them.

A hasty chakra barrier hadn't been enough to block all of them. Orochimaru took quite a few nicks, but he was relieved. It could have been a lot worse.

Suddenly, _all _of the shadow shuriken burst into smoke. The snake sage couldn't see a thing!

Orochimaru cursed.

The whole thing had been a distraction.

* * *

Hiruzen was ready to end the fight.

Under the protection of the smoke, the Third Hokage created 4 Shadow Clones and resolved to obliterate the snake pedophile in one final blow.

He would coddle his student no longer; this was it.

Sarutobi began the dreaded 5-dragon combo, the technique that had won the Second Shinobi World War.

* * *

Two of Hiruzen's clones began the volley with a Fire/Wind combo.

Orochimaru gaped at the gigantic, mixing Fire Dragon Bullet and Wind Dragon Bullet. Shit.

The two Hiruzens growled, "**Scorch Release****: Burning Dragon Bullet!**"

Orochimaru quickly summoned a Triple Rashomon, which kept most of the explosion of flames away.

Even so, his entire left side was charred by the massive heat wave.

Ouch.

Orochimaru's thoughts of self-pity were replaced by pure fear when he heard two other clones shout behind him.

"**Water Style****: Water Dragon Bullet**!"

"**Lightning Style****: Lightning Dragon Bullet**!"

And then in unison: "**Storm Style****: Laser Dragon Bullet**!"

Unable to turn around and act quickly enough, Orochimaru screamed as the huge jutsu blasted into his torso.

His entire nervous system was pretty much in shambles from the electrocution, and the blunt trauma from the water had shattered most of his ribs.

All the snake pedophile could do was to lie down and hope to pull off an Oral Rebirth before the next justu mauled him.

Not a chance.

Because Hiruzen himself launched into the air to pull off the finishing blow.

"**Earth Style****: Earth Dragon Bullet**!"

As the giant, solid-rock dragon smashed into Orochimaru's battered body at terminal velocity, Orochimaru really wished that his teacher weren't so pissed off.

* * *

In contrast, Minato's battle had involved barely any chakra and was instead a finessed battle of cat-and-mouse.

A good thing, because Minato was running really low on chakra from transporting a Tailed Beast Bomb earlier, performing the strongest Rasengan in his life, and teleporting who-knows-how-many times that day.

Minato had marked Zetsu early on in the match with the Flying Thunder God formula. This would have spelled death for any other enemy, but Minato didn't really dare to teleport to Zetsu when the plant was still able to perform the Mayfly.

One mistimed teleportation, and Minato would be suffocating underground as a sitting duck for the creepy land traveler.

'Where is he?' thought Minato. 'It's freaking impossible to find this little green man.'

* * *

'I got you,' thought White Zetsu. Black Zetsu agreed. 'No one can avoid a point-blank Wood Style: Nativity of a World of Trees.'

Zetsu was right under Minato.

"DIE!" the two halves yelled in unison as dozens of wood spikes grew right under Minato's legs…

…and withered right away into crumbles of clay and puddles of water.

Black Zetsu was stunned. "But…how?"

White Zetsu giggled. "Oh, I get it. Look at him."

Minato was pulsing Lightning chakra from his entire body. It drained on his already-small reserves, but it was necessary.

Black Zetsu gaped. "But…but his son his a Wind type!"

Minato turned around and laughed. "Is Naruto really? So is Kushina! I'm glad he takes after his mom!"

Then the Fourth grew sarcastic. "But did you really think I was a wind type? Did you really think it was called the Flying Thunder God Justu just for shits and giggles?"

White Zetsu sighed. "Hey Black, is Lightning strong against Wood?"

If looks could kill, Black Zetsu would be the number-one assassin in the world by now.

"Yes. The Water style portion conducts electricity, and Lightning is strong against Earth style."

Neither Zetsu had a single jutsu that could touch Minato.

* * *

And just as it seemed as if both of the Hokages were going to win, Danzo decided to show his ugly face.

"**Wind Release****: Vacuum Bullets**!" shouted the ROOT leader.

Both Hiruzen and Minato had to dodge.

* * *

Orochimaru could have kissed Danzo. With the precious time Danzo had unintentionally bought him, the snake sannin pulled off an Oral Rebirth.

Granted, now he had less than a fourth of his chakra, but at least he could move.

* * *

Hiruzen recalled Enma in staff position and twirled the weapon above his head.

Minato turned his head to look at Hiruzen. "You alright, Lord Third?"

Hiruzen smiled. "Just getting started, Lord Hokage."

* * *

Minato and Hiruzen stood in back-to-back fighting stances.

"Can you take on the former Akatsuki members for a few minutes?" asked Hiruzen. "I can take out Danzo once and for all if you can hold out."

Minato hesitated. "I think so."

"Good." Hiruzen smiled. "Now let's show them what being Hokage is all about."

* * *

A couple of minutes later, Minato finally caught his breath for a bit.

He'd be able to stall for Hiruzen for hours if need be.

Both Zetsu and Orochimaru were a bit confused as to how they had so easily let the Fourth Hokage corner them.

Minato had spread a dozen or so tri-kunai in a wide circle around the them.

Any attempt at escaping from the circle was rebuffed by a rapid teleportation and counter-attack.

Zetsu looked at Orochimaru for the first time. "Excuse me, but, as I recall, you knew a bit of senjutsu?"

Orochimaru looked at Zetsu and laughed. "Aye, and I never knew you were such a weasel at fighting, _Zetsu. _You made it back in time as well?"

White Zetsu said, "Wha—"

Black Zetsu responded irritably, "Only me. The white bitch got himself killed."

White Zetsu whimpered.

"Anyway," continued the black plant. "I have a plan. And we'll never have to deal with the Fourth again."

* * *

Hiruzen faced Danzo with trepidation. He had told the Fourth the truth. Hiruzen could take Danzo out pretty easily.

He hadn't told Minato that he was running low on chakra or that Danzo had rigged a juinjutsu/fuinjutsu to activate upon his death.

The Third didn't tell the Fourth that the Reverse Four Symbols Seals would swallow all of them (and possibly the whole village) if activated.

And he definitely didn't tell Minato that he intended to counter the fuinjutsu with the Shiki Fuuin.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I never will.**

**Chapter 9:**

Hiruzen remembered the greatest shock of the First Shinobi World War.

_"Uzushiogakure has been destroyed."_

Konoha's greatest ally and the Senju's closest relatives, massacred and scattered to the winds.

He remembered how Team Tobirama had teamed up with Danzo's team to survey the remains of the village.

He remembered how Danzo had found the Reverse Four Symbols Sealing Technique scroll.

He remembered that the scroll said that the great Uzumaki masters who had used the technique had destroyed entire villages.

And he remembered how his sensei had sacrificed himself to let his students and subordinates escape.

Hiruzen Sarutobi remembered. If Danzo was anything like the Uzumaki masters, he had to be killed without activating the juinjutsu.

And if anyone could do it, it was him, the God of Shinobi.

* * *

Danzo snarled. "You've always been too soft, old man. And Konoha has suffered as a result."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow. "And attacking two of Konoha's most respected leaders will help…how?"

"Shut up!" Danzo shouted. "I'm tired of dealing with your wishy-washy ideals!"

The Third Hokage coughed something that sounded like, 'Uchiha massacre.'

Danzo was too angry to be confused by Hiruzen's deranged mumblings. "I'm prepared to get rid of you, no matter what the cost! For the sake of the village! **Summoning Jutsu**!"

Poof. His hideously butt-ugly summon, Baku, appeared.

Hiruzen sighed. Baku was a bitch to deal with.

* * *

"So basically, you want me to charge you up with my Nature chakra," summarized Orochimaru. "So that you can harness the massive Yang essence of the vegetation around us to create a giant carpet of pointy wooden trees?"

Zetsu nodded.

"And since you're using a Yang chakra-based jutsu," Orochimaru continued. "the nature chakra will be self-sustaining until the jutsu has destroyed everything around us?"

Zetsu nodded.

"And it might make a new geographic landmark where Konoha once was." finished Orochimaru.

Zetsu nodded one last time and grinned.

"So bold! So daring!" gushed Orochimaru as he licked his lips. "Kukuku, I love it."

The two S-rank criminals faced each other, both preparing to expel their elemental chakras.

The snake pedophile grabbed the plant man's hand and shared his senjutsu chakra.

* * *

Minato was a bit baffled to say the least.

Two S-rank criminals looked into each other's eyes and held hands.

But once they both started to shape chakra, Minato realized what they were planning.

A giant Mokuton jutsu.

'Shit!' thought Minato. 'They're going to destroy everything around them! If that's the case, I'm going to need something big.'

Because if Minato was correct (and he was), their Wood Style jutsu would be massive enough to tear apart not only the outskirts of Konoha but also the heart of the village itself.

What could possibly stop this?

_Flashback_

_Kurama gave a toothy grin. "The Second's greatest jutsu."_

And Minato understood then what he had to do.

For the sake of the village, the villagers, and himself, he had to go all out.

Even if it depleted all of his chakra reserves.

"**Shadow Clone Jutsu**!"

* * *

Hiruzen, Danzo, Baku, and Enma all turned their heads to see the epic confrontation.

And it was truly epic.

* * *

Orochimaru and Zetsu, still holding hands, charged at both the Fourth Hokage and Minato's clone.

The two copies of the Fourth held their arms outstreched in the air.

A Rasengan formed in Minato's hand. His clone formed his student's signature jutsu, the Chidori.

And the two of them slammed their hands together.

The two unique jutsus collided, and Minato struggled to stabilize the rapid spinning of the Rasengan and the wild vibrations of the Chidori.

Would it work?

* * *

Zetsu and Orochimaru stopped.

Orochimaru licked his lips. "Kukuku, is that…"

"The Rasenshuriken," finished Black Zetsu in awe.

* * *

It really was.

The massive Rasengan in the center spun more erratically than usual, and 4 flashing blades of Lightning chakra orbited it like a nuclear centrifuge.

Minato had instantaneously reproduced a jutsu that had taken Naruto thousands of man-hours to create.

He really was a once-in-a-generation genius.

* * *

"Never mind that," complained White Zetsu. "Let's focus on our awesome plan."

And as one, the two Zetsus shouted: "**Wood Style**: **Massive Wood Cutting Technique**!"

Which was a bit awkward, because the snake pedophile simultaneously yelled: "**Orochimaru Style****: Snake Sage Forest**!"

The clashing nomenclature of the new jutsu seemed not to have affected the technique itself, because it worked beautifully.

Which sucked for Minato.

Billions of senbon-like wooden needles shot forth from the ground, most with thorns and sharp leaves.

'Must be an effect of the yang chakra,' noted Black Zetsu.

The jutsu's effect spread rapidly. Given thirty seconds, it would have reached the heart of Konoha.

_Would have_, because Minato made sure that _no one _touched his hometown.

Minato threw a tri-kunai into the air and performed a perfectly timed Flying Thunder God Jutsu at the apex.

And once he was in the air, he did what the Rasenshuriken was made to do.

He threw it. At the ground.

"**Lightning Style****: Rasenshuriken**!"

* * *

Now, Naruto's Rasenshuriken is Wind-based, which is the nature created by grinding chakra in an edgy manner. So the jutsu emphasizes the cutting aspect of a shuriken. It cuts on a molecular level from all the bits of Wind chakra.

Minato's Rasenshuriken is Lightning-based, which is the nature created by pulsing chakra in extremely fast vibrations. So the jutsu emphasizes the spinning aspect of a shuriken. Logically, it pulses chakra at lightning speeds through the target.

So when Minato's Rasenshuriken hit the center of the emerging forest of spikes, it became the epicenter of a series of infinitesimally quick pulses of lightning chakra, spinning wildly in a perfect circle.

And Wood Style, no matter how large, was still weak to Minato's Lightning.

The entire artificial forest withered and crumbled back into water and dirt.

* * *

Zetsu and Orochimaru _would_ have gaped at the perfect counter to their new jutsu if they hadn't been fried thousands of times by the Rasenshuriken.

Convulsing rapidly on the ground, the two missing-nin were little more than dessicated corpses, albeit still barely alive.

Minato fell to the ground, unconscious and deplete of chakra.

No one noticed that Orochimaru pulled off one final Oral Rebirth.

* * *

Hiruzen and Danzo were both glad that they had jumped up when Minato had.

Otherwise, they would have been impaled a dozen times over by wooden spikes. And then electrocuted with the strongest Lightning-style jutsu the world had seen yet.

Still in midair, the two old men and their summons fired their most powerful jutsu as well. The battle had gone on for too long.

"**Collaboration Wind Style****: Vacuum Serial Waves**!" bellowed Danzo as he and his summon unleashed their strongest attack.

Enma took the brunt force of the attack in his Adamantine Staff form.

Although he hated to do this again, Hiruzen knew he had to get rid of Danzo.

It was the only way to do it without potentially allowing everyone within one square mile to be killed by the Reverse Four Seals Fuuinjutsu.

Hiruzen whispered, "**Sealing Jutsu****: Dead Demon Consuming Seal**."

* * *

During the Kyuubi attack, Kabuto was a wee lad of eight. He was in the process of being a double agent for both Orochimaru and Danzo.

So when both of his masters were fighting for their lives, he noticed.

Kabuto was lucky, arriving just after Minato's Rasenshuriken. Just in time to see Danzo and Hiruzen go at it.

Seeing the Third Hokage prepare what looked like a fearsome jutsu, Kabuto Yakushi jumped into the mix, ready to sacrifice himself if need be.

* * *

The Shinigami appeared behind Hiruzen Sarutobi, muttering some unintelligible chant.

A cursed seal appeared on its arm.

Then its arm pierced the Third Hokage's torso, shooting in Danzo's direction…

…only to puncture the chest of a silver-haired youth. The Shinigami yanked the boy's soul out, and a seal appeared on the collapsing corpse of Kabuto.

Initially horrified, Hiruzen inwardly chuckled as he recognized his victim.

Although his target had been Danzo, he would not cry over the fact that he accidentally killed Kabuto Yakushi.

There was no contest as to which of the two had become a greater threat to the shinobi world. After all, Kabuto was the one who resurrected Hiruzen.

So even though Danzo would still be a thorn in the civilized shinobi world's side, Hiruzen contented himself in death with the fact that he had successfully neutralized the worst threat to the Elemental Nations since Madara Uchiha himself.

Hiruzen's eyes rolled upwards as his own soul was taken by the Death God.

* * *

Danzo Shimura would never know how close he had come to dying that day.

* * *

Orochimaru got up, with pretty much no moldable chakra, but sound body. He looked at the dying Zetsu next to him.

'His body is clearly derived from that of the First,' Orochimaru realized. 'If he can't make a good ally, at least he will make a decent test subject.'

Slinging the plant man over his shoulder, the snake sannin jumped off into the distance to his nearest hideout.

* * *

Danzo Shimura, having nowhere to go and having no good explanation for why he was next to a dead and a dying Hokage, decided to take his chances.

He released his summon and jumped after Orochimaru, wondering what the life of a missing-nin was like.

* * *

The corpses of Kushina Uzumaki, Hiruzen Sarutobi, and Kabuto Yakushi lay in the periphery of Konoha. A dying Minato fared little better.

When ANBU arrived on-site, they could only get five words out of their fallen leader who had saved the entire village from the Kyuubi, Obito Uchiha, Orochimaru of the Sannin, and both Zetsus all in one day.

The Fourth Hokage, the Yellow Flash, Minato Namikaze whispered, "My successor..."

All the ANBU on-site abruptly stopped any noise. This was important.

"will be..."

The elite ninja all thought through the possibilities.

Would it be Jiraiya? Tsunade? Shikaku? Homura? Koharu?

"Kakashi Hatake."

* * *

Even from the Uchiha compound, Itachi had seen some parts of the battle.

Itachi knew for a fact that Orochimaru didn't develop the Oral Rebirth jutsu until after he had left Akatsuki.

Itachi knew for a fact that Hiruzen was too emotionally weak to attack Orochimaru until the Invasion of Konoha.

And he knew that Black Zetsu would never have attacked someone of Minato's caliber unless something truly devastating had happened.

There was only one logical conclusion: the three of them were from the future.

Black Zetsu, Hiruzen, and Orochimaru had all accidentally traveled in time…and what did they have in common?

Realization struck him, and Itachi realized in horror that he hadn't yet found the Sword of Totsuka.

Itachi wouldn't find it for another nine years…which meant that—

"All of the souls," Itachi whispered to himself. "That I sealed in the Sword of Totsuka…came back with me. And are alive now."

Despite the gravity of his unforeseeable mistake, Itachi held a glimmer of hope.

Somewhere out there, a redeemed Nagato was stirring, wondering how he got into the past.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: This fic does not represent the opinions of anyone but the author.**

**Chapter 10:**

Black Zetsu opened his eyes. Where was he?

"Kukuku, the sleeper finally awakes," chuckled Orochimaru.

Danzo wasn't smiling. "We should have killed him. Neither of us knows where he came from."

Orochimaru clucked his tongue. "Speak for yourself."

More than a little annoyed now, Danzo calmed himself: "Well, at least you had the sense to shackle the creature."

Black Zetsu noticed that, yes, he was, in fact, chained to an operating table.

Shit.

Black Zetsu knew what happened in Orochimaru's experiments.

Using the Mayfly, he attempted to escape. Sinking halfway through the operating table, Black Zetsu groaned and stopped.

He was completely out of chakra.

Orochimaru and Danzo looked on in fascination.

"My, my," Orochimaru chuckled. "You never said that you could travel through solid stonewhen I was in Akatsuki."

Black Zetsu merely glared.

Orochimaru ignored the glare and continued. "What lengths Lord Madara went through for the Eye of the Moon plan...tell me, is he still alive?"

Black Zetsu choked. The snake sannin knew about their plan? But upon thinking about it more, Black Zetsu realized he shouldn't have been surprised.

Kabuto knew about it in the future, and he was, no doubt, informed by Orochimaru's information network.

Danzo growled, "Look at your body, creature. Do you really think you're in a condition to escape?"

Looking down, Black Zetsu realized what shitty condition he was in.

Both legs had melted (and probably still left a gooey stain in the outskirts of Konoha), and only the right arm was still intact. His whole body was black, even White Zetsu's half. Or what was left of White Zetsu's half, anyway. Black Zetsu realized with a start that he hadn't heard White Zetsu at all. Where was the white imbecile?

Orochimaru noticed Black Zetsu looking at his left half.

The snake's smile faltered. "We, uh, weren't able to save your other half. He seemed to have gone into cardiac arrest from Minato's jutsu. I hope you two weren't close?"

Black Zetsu shook his head. "There's over 2000 clones just like him at my master's base."

Orochimaru and Danzo looked at each other and had the same thought. 'Experimental heaven.'

The snake pedophile spoke first.

"I'd very much like to see this base of yours."

* * *

Little Shika was in heaven on earth.

All he had ever wanted since his Academy days was to do nothing but lie down and stare upwards.

He quite literally couldn't do anything else considering that his muscle development hadn't caught up to his cognitive development.

Shikamaru was a happy accident in the plan. He wasn't even supposed to have been one of the time travelers.

But he was, and he sure wasn't complaining. Bless that eidetic memory.

Shikamaru closed his eyes in bliss. He was epitomizing laziness at its finest.

But as always, the gears in his head were turning, even if his body was slacking.

Minato was supposed to go to each child and unseal/trigger the memories once the kids were old enough to actually retain the information.

Of course, that wasn't going to work with Minato dead.

So Shikamaru, at the tender age of 1 week old, took upon himself the task of assuming Minato Namikaze's time-traveling responsibilities.

He'd bring back his friends himself.

Oh, the little ones grow up so fast.

But Shikamaru would have gone back to being a complete vegetable in an _instant_ if he knew that the future Itachi was still around.

* * *

Itachi was the other hiccup in the plan.

He was supposed to be churning around in the Shinigami's stomach.

Instead, he was living it up as a 5-year-old prodigy Uchiha.

To be fair, though, Itachi really didn't change anything. He was almost as skilled last time around, anyway.

And to be brutally honest, Itachi had to be the unluckiest human being to walk the earth.

That's _not _counting the fact that he was vilified in history for killing his entire clan on orders.

It does, however, take into account the Shingami's seal.

* * *

Itachi Uchiha shoved chakra into his torso and inspected the incredibly complex, glowing seal that appeared on his midsection.

It was deceptively simple. The seal had three parts.

The first part was on Itachi's navel. It was just a set of 9 empty circles, which were equally spaced in a circle around the kanji for 'ten.' The kanji was placed right on his bellybutton.

The second part was on his back. This one looked not unlike a flowerly version of the Caged Bird Seal of the Hyuuga.

The third part was over his heart. The seal fragment was a variant of Danzo's ROOT juuinjutsu.

The three parts of the seal were connected with crisscrossing vertical and horizontal lines.

All in all, the seal looked so simple. But it was inextricably connected to Itachi's soul.

It was a contract seal with the Shinigami.

The first sub-seal ensured that poor Itachi Uchiha was not allowed to die until he resurrected the Juubi.

The second sub-seal dictated that he couldn't kill any human souls while he was alive without suffering excruciating and paralyzing pain for hours. Per soul.

And the third made certain that Itachi couldn't talk about his contract seal without killing every living creature within a 10 mile radius.

Which, incidentally, would inevitably trigger the second seal and paralyze Itachi in pain for hours. Per soul.

Poor Itachi.

* * *

Kakashi was ready to give up on this job after the first month.

Why?

Oh, the foreign relations part wasn't too hard. Kakashi was pretty likeable once you got past the _Icha Icha _obsession.

Domestic affairs was actually pretty easy, even despite the recovery from the Kyuubi attack.

Efficiency was not a problem for Kakashi. As directory of the rebuilding process, the former ANBU executed everything with ANBU-level precision, something that won points with almost all of the Council.

Even the transition from nameless, elite shinobi to public celebrity was manageable. As long he had the mask, Kakashi was fine with public attention.

No, Kakashi's problem was far more mundane.

Paperwork.

Paperwork for grants, paperwork for proposed legislation, paperwork for new property leases, paperwork for missions.

Why the fuck did all missions, even D-rank ones, have to be assigned and approved by the Hokage?!

The only thing that kept Kakashi Hatake from resigning was the fact that the paperwork for succession was even worse.

And the fact that there wasn't really anyone else who'd take the job.

As he considered seppuku for the third time that day, Kakashi noticed a crow fly in with a scroll tied to its foot.

The crow dropped the scroll neatly into Kakashi's hand and poofed.

Huh. Seemed a little suspicious.

Against his better judgment, Kakashi unraveled the scroll.

It read:

_Dear Hokage-sama,_

_No doubt you are grumbling about paperwork even as you read this note. __I humbly submit the following solution:_

Kakashi considered seppuku for the fourth time that day as he read the next line.

The solution was so simple.

_Kage Bunshin no Jutsu._

_Please enjoy your free time. _

_However, I write not only on such a triviality as paperwork. I write on the behalf of Naruto Uzumaki, Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki's son. __You, no doubt, are wondering how I know of his identity. Just please know that I knew Minato very well and spoke to him mere hours before his death._

_Mr. Hatake, I strongly advise that you keep little Naruto's family a complete secret. No one can know about his parents, or Iwagakure will assassinate him in mere weeks. __It is even more imperative that you hide the presence of Naruto's furry friend. Kumogakure would kidnap him in mere **days **if the Kyuubi's location were public knowledge. __I highly suggest that you personally keep tabs on Naruto at the orphanage and tell absolutely no one who he really is, including Council members._

_I'll be in touch weekly with any important information that I can find._

_-Chita_

* * *

Nagato didn't know how he got into the past, and he did have a few unresolved regrets.

He regretted the fact that he was still forced to use the 6 Paths of Pain because of his injury.

He regretted the fact that Tobi had forced his presence into Akatsuki's machinations.

And most of all, he regretted the fact that Yahiko was already dead.

But he had a debt to his sibling student Naruto Uzumaki and to his teacher Jiraiya, and he was going to fulfill it or take it to the grave.

He was leader the Hidden Rain already.

He had forbidden knowledge on all of his enemies' abilities.

And he already had Konan, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Kisame on his side.

With that thought in mind, the 6 Paths of Pain and sought to find Tobi, the one who had ruined everything.

Yahiko's murderer could wait. Danzo would be next.

Oh, Nagato if only you knew. If only you knew where Danzo really was.

* * *

Orochimaru and Danzo followed Zetsu into the cave. They stopped just before the entrance.

"This is our base," White Zetsu said. "Make yourselves at home."

The door opened, and Tobi's lab came into view.

Danzo's blinking was clearly audible in the stunned silence.

Even Orochimaru (or especially Orochimaru) was shocked. He licked his lips. "Kukuku, it's beautiful."

Preserved sharingans lined the hallway. Several operating tables hosted test-Zetsus. Madara's old gunbai hung loosely on the wall.

On the other side of the room, emerging from a Zetsu cocoon, a rejuvenated Obito turned to face them.

"Welcome to the Mountain's Graveyard."

**Update coming up next Sunday! Please leave a review to let me know what you're thinking!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Welcome to the first installment of my new updating schedule!**

**Speaking of, I'd like to clarify a few things that some of you all have brought up. Many of you have noticed periodic updates on this story over the last week. I receive a lot of great constructive feedback from your reviews, your private messages, my beta readers, and staff members of communities that I've applied for. Out of respect for those who have taken the time to help improve this story, I've implemented many suggested changes and updated the story accordingly.**

**I anticipated that there might be some confusion regarding the brief changes. I didn't intend to give the impression that I'd be posting new chapters, so I wrote in the last chapter that I'd post a new chapter on Sunday, but I evidently wasn't clear enough; my intention was to let people know that no new chapters would be added until Sunday. To all those who were misled by my updates, sorry!**

**From this point on, I will be adding a new chapter every Sunday. Any changes during the week will be solely devoted to rewriting previous chapters, so you can ignore them if you've already read the chapter.**

**Thanks for being such great readers, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**-PlotnoJutsu**

**Chapter 11:**

Orochimaru was immensely satisfied.

In the few weeks that he'd been working with Obito, he'd been given more freedom than Konoha had ever given him.

Tobi, as the masked man liked to be called, had given him unlimited access to Hashirama Senju's clone.

That, alone, was a gold mine.

Add to that the several preserved Sharingan and the strange statue—Orochimaru couldn't have been more spoiled as a scientist.

* * *

Little Itachi decided, only a few weeks into his new life, that he'd feel a lot better if he could touch base with Nagato, just to confirm his theory about the Sword of Totsuka and hopefully establish a plan with a real adult.

He prepared a Crow clone for the journey to Amegakure.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

_10 minutes later..._

Itachi had been rushed to the Konoha Hospital for acute chakra exhaustion.

His parents had freaked out, and the medics were confused as to what jutsu a 5-year old could possibly use that would be so taxing.

Itachi may have been a genius, but time-travel was pretty difficult to get used to.

Especially for children.

The young Uchiha sighed from his hospital bed. He would learn to adapt to his small chakra capacity.

Maybe he would just send a crow messenger, like he did for Kakashi.

Itachi began a note from his hospital bed.

_To whomever it may concern,_

_I am trying to reach Nagato..._

* * *

Obito pondered the plan suggested by Orochimaru. It seemed reasonable enough.

Each of them was a freak of nature. Obito, Orochimaru, Danzo, and Zetsu all had artificial flesh.

None of them had a problem with mutilating their bodies for a power boost.

Hence, Orochimaru set up an ambitious project with each of their bodies in exchange only for the resources to do so.

He wanted to outfit Danzo with the Cursed Seal of Heaven as well as some Senju and Uchiha tissue. For some reason, Orochimaru was certain that Danzo would accept both tissues.

He wanted to gift Tobi himself with the Cursed Seal of Earth and some of the Eight-Tails' chakra. Tobi didn't even want to know how Orochimaru obtained the Hachibi's horn.

He wanted a Byakugan for himself in order to better operate on chakra-molding creatures. Ambitious, effective and logical. Sacrificing his half-Hyuuga captive for Orochimaru wasn't a problem for Tobi.

But Orochimaru's ultimate project made the rest pale in comparison.

He wanted to reconstruct the Rinnegan using Zetsu's body as a host for some reserve Sharingan.

Tobi shuddered in excitement at the notion. Nagato's...no, _Izuna's_ eyes were good, but it would be incredible to have another set as a backup.

Of course, it would be risky giving the experimenter so much power, but Tobi was convinced that the snake sage wasn't a threat.

He needed Obito's resources, and he'd remain loyal just to sate his curiousity.

After all, Tobi knew secrets that the sannin would kill for. He had power over the snake pedophile.

Oh, Obito. If only you knew.

* * *

Black Zetsu felt the power surging within him.

Zetsu bodies weren't made for conducting chakra. Sure, they could attack, but only with the level of a weak chuunin at best. Orochimaru had changed that. By using his new Byakugan, the snake sannin had widened all of his chakra coils and increased the flow of his chakra network tenfold. In addition, Orochimaru had re-constructed the other half of his body with the DNA of Kushina Uzumaki. The snake hadn't been squeamish about grave-robbing in the last timeline. Black Zetsu wasn't surprised that his ethics were still virtually nonexistent.

Zetsu looked different, too. His left side, constructed from Uzumaki tissue, was blood red and faceless.

More importantly, it didn't have an alternate personality.

But the _final _icing on the cake would have given any metaphorical organism diabetes from its sheer scale.

With Orochimaru's encouragement, Tobi had gifted Zetsu with two of his eight Sharingan, hoping for an evolution to Rinnegan.

The trial instantly made a leap to success.

Upon using his eyes for the first time, Black Zetsu awakened a three-tomoed Sharingan.

The second time, he activated a Mangekyo Sharingan resembling a Star of David.

Black Zetsu knew that the loss of the future Madara was the trauma behind the activation of the Mangekyo.

For now, though, he had to pretend to Tobi that White Zetsu had been his dearest friend. And that the white imbecile's death had been _sooo __tragic._

Black Zetsu had been through many humiliations, but faking an affection for White Zetsu had to top the list.

The plant-man shoved down his emotions. He would harness his new gifts to their full potential.

Black Zetsu would become more powerful than any of them, second only to his master.

* * *

Danzo opened his eyes and looked at his bandaged body. It looked absolutely disgusting, with body fluids dripping everywhere. Pus and blood flowed in streams on the operating table.

The ROOT leader smiled. It was beautiful.

Danzo had been too busy for surgery, but Tobi all but forced him into it anyway.

Orochimaru had implanted Hashirama's cells into his right arm and a graft from Tobi's skin into his left arm. Danzo had been nervous, but the snake pedophile insisted that he'd be compatible with both.

Huh. He wondered how Orochimaru knew that without any preliminary testing.

Danzo then wondered, 'Would I be able to host a Sharingan?'

Then he laughed. What a notion!

* * *

Konan sighed. It had been nearly a month since Nagato had left, and the loneliness was starting to get to her.

She read the only note that he had left her for the thousandth time.

_Dear Konan,_

_Some intelligence I received leads me to the belief that 'Madara' is a fraud who is just using us. We may be in grave danger._

_So I'll be gone for awhile to find and confront him._

_In the meantime, I want you to continue Akatsuki's recruitment as quickly as possible. I know we have Kisame and Kakuzu already, but they aren't enough._

_Take care. Yahiko would be proud of you._

_-Nagato_

Konan teared up again. It had been years since Nagato had used his name instead of "Pain."

She wiped her eyes and put on a brave face. There was a missing-nin who wanted to join their group, and she was supposed to test his abilities.

Konan wondered if Sasori lived up to his reputation.

* * *

The Animal Path hovered over the Mountain's Graveyard.

This was the right place; Nagato was sure of it. Weeks of searching had finally yielded such sweet rewards.

"**Summoning Jutsu**!"

The other 5 Paths of Pain appeared.

Nagato smiled. It was time.

* * *

Black Zetsu observed the 6 cloaked figures in the sky from a tree outside.

How odd. They almost looked like…

"It can't be," whispered Black Zetsu.

* * *

Tobi looked in the sky atop the bones of an ancient mammoth.

Orange hair and red clouds peppered the otherwise desolate area.

'That's a battle formation, no doubt,' seethed Obito. 'That bastard of a traitor.'

* * *

Danzo squinted at the clouds from his window and did a double take.

He had been sure that he'd killed off the leader of Akatsuki with Hanzo.

But then what was Yahiko doing in the sky?

* * *

Orochimaru had a few old friends to visit.

He slithered out of the Mountain's Graveyard in pursuit of a young Jugo and Kimimaro. The curse seal would be so much easier to construct this time.

Then Orochimaru noticed the 6 floating bodies.

'Ah, little Nagato's here, too!' Orochimaru simpered. 'Maybe he'll even kill Tobi off for me!'

But in his black heart, even the snake sannin feared a truly pissed-off Rinnegan user.

* * *

**Author's Note: As requested by Gacsam, here is a list of people who time-traveled.**

Minato Namikaze (deceased)

Gaara

Temari

Kankuro

Naruto Uzumaki

Sasuke Uchiha

Sakura Haruno

Hinata Hyuuga

Shino Aburame

Ino Yamanaka

Shikamaru Nara (active)

Itachi Uchiha (active)

Black Zetsu (active)

Hiruzen Sarutobi (deceased)

Nagato Uzumaki (active)

Orochimaru (active)

**Chapter 11 comes out on Sunday, April 6th! Review or PM me any ideas or concerns!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: All of the names of Nagato's 6 Paths will be** bolded **for ease of reading.**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.**

**Chapter 12:**

Nagato saw through fourteen eyes.

The **Asura** and **Naraka** Paths observed Tobi looking like a cornered animal. The** Animal** and** Preta** Paths viewed Black Zetsu's expressionless face (hey, the guy doesn't have any facial features to emote with). The** Deva** and **Human** Paths saw Danzo with a look of confusion and abhorrence on his visage. Nagato's own eyes overlooked the entire mountain valley from the highest tree in the region.

The Rinnegan user blinked, and his field of vision expanded to thousands of eyes.

Nagato resolved to fight.

For Yahiko, the hero of his life.

For Konan, his constant support and friend.

For Jiraiya, his teacher who had given him everything.

For Itachi, who had ended Nagato's forced Edo Tensei rampage.

For Naruto, who had inspired him to finally redeem his mistake-ridden life.

Nagato would fight this time not for himself, but for all of his companions across space and time.

"Let my enemies," whispered Nagato. "Know pain."

* * *

Tobi sweatdropped.

There was no way that he could take on Nagato in a one-on-one battle.

_Chirp. _The birds around Tobi trilled like a drumroll. _Chirp._

Obito was accustomed to running away from more powerful opponents.

After all, he'd been gifted with the greatest tool for cowards: Kamui.

But Tobi couldn't run away this time because the battle was taking place on his home turf.

He really couldn't abandon the Mountain's Graveyard. A lifetime of Madara's research would be destroyed if he abandoned the lab.

Reluctantly, he faced the **Asura** Path and the **Naraka** Path in front of him.

* * *

Black Zetsu seethed. So the red-haired Uzumaki traitor had returned to the past as well?

He'd show Nagato who was boss.

Black Zetsu flushed his newly enhanced chakra throughout his body, an aura of power blazing.

The **Animal** Path looked unimpressed. "**Kuchiyose no Jutsu**!"

The **Preta** Path and the **Animal** Path jumped on the Giant Drill-Beaked Bird and flew at Black Zetsu with a fiery doggedness.

Black Zetsu roared and turned his arm into a huge wooden lance. It was not unlike Kimimaro's Dance of the Seedling Fern.

And wood trumps bone.

* * *

Danzo stepped outside.

"So, _Yahiko_," Danzo droned. "Apparently, you didn't have the honor to die for your friends, did you?"

The** Deva** Path looked at him expressionlessly. "Yahiko died long ago."

The **Human** Path continued, "And bastard, as the murderer of my friend, I want you to know: my name is Pain."

Danzo was unfazed. The only Hidden Rain shinobi he respected were Hanzo and the red-haired Akatsuki member who had nearly defeated Hanzo.

Oh, Danzo. If only you knew.

* * *

The first thing that Orochimaru did when he saw the 6 Paths of Pain was in true snake-pedophilic-character.

He ran like a bitch from the incipient battle.

* * *

Itachi's crow arrived in Amegakure, seeking to carry his master's message to Nagato.

It began the long search across the industrialized village.

At the same time, Nagato, Obito, Danzo, and Zetsu began the dance of battle.

* * *

Tobi teleported behind both the **Asura** Path and the **Naraka** Path.

Neither was looking at him.

Obito smiled.

Even for the Rinnegan's visual prowess, it seemed that Nagato couldn't even avoid basic sneak attacks.

"**Fire Style**!" shouted Tobi. "**Bomb Blast Dance**!"

Both jumped out of the way without even looking.

_Chirp._

Obito noticed with alarm that the bird in front of him seemed to have the Rinnegan.

_Chirp._

So did THAT bird!

_Chirp. Chirp. Chirp._

It was then that Obito noticed that _all_ of the birds in the forest had the Rinnegan. Thousands of them.

That would mean that the shared field of vision...

...was pretty much omniscient as far as sight goes. Nagato had no blind spots.

Fuck.

"Obito, don't insult me with such elemental tricks," droned the **Asura** Path.

The **Naraka** Path continued, "Sneak attacks are even below Uchiha scum like you. Give me a worthy battle, at least."

The gall of them!

Tobi glared at them, furious and flustered. "Don't condescend to me! And how do you know my name?"

Nagato thought about an appropriate answer.

"I am a God," said the** Naraka** Path. "I know all and, uh, see all."

Obito seethed. "You talk big about your borrowed power. Those aren't even your-"

The **Asura** Path rolled its eyes. "Sure, sure. But are _you _really going to lecture _me _about borrowed power? Honestly, a complete idiot could tell that your body isn't all-natural..."

In wordless rage, Tobi hurled a wooden spike at...the **Naraka** Path, was it? He could never get the 6 straight.

If Obito was right, though, then that one could summon the King of Hell.

It needed to be disposed of-any other knockouts would be meaningless if the Paths could be so easily resurrected by the **Naraka** Path.

The **Naraka** Path lazily stepped out of the way of the wooden spike.

The **Asura** Path prepared a fleet of missiles aimed at Tobi.

As his rage abated, Tobi sweatdropped again as the gravity of the situation set in.

He was cornered with a flotilla of high-tech pain awaiting him.

And for the first time in forever, Tobi couldn't run away from his fears.

* * *

Black Zetsu launched wooden projectiles in quick succession at the Rinnegan-eyed bird overhead.

The bird was agile, the plant-man admitted.

Behind him, a 3-headed, Rinnegan-eyed dog charged at him.

Black Zetsu spun around and halted the momentum of the skyscraper-sized dog running at 40 mph.

With a single punch.

As his right fist made contact with the running dog, wooden layers rapidly formed around his right arm.

Within a fraction of a second, Black Zetsu's arm was a huge appendage the size of a small house.

The sudden stop sent the 3-headed dog into whiplash.

A single wooden spike grew from Black Zetsu's massive arm and pierced the dog.

Poor dog. Its screams could be heard for miles.

The wooden spike stopped once it reached the dog's ribs. Then, the wood began branching.

The dog cried out and grew another head as a massive ball of wooden spikes grew inside of its body.

Poor dog.

Soon, the wooden spikes began emerging from the inside of the dog's fur coat everywhere.

Wood came out of its pelt like hair.

The dog now looked like a porcupine, and the poor creature writhed around in silent agony, sprouting dozens of heads each second.

Once the multi-headed dog reached 100 heads and looked like a bloody, gruesome mess of of flesh, it poofed and disappeared.

Satisfied, Black Zetsu turned around to see a small army.

It was an army of summons that the **Animal** Path had summoned during his battle with the dog.

Reveling in his power, Black Zetsu leaped Hulk-style into the air and began demolishing the summons.

"Bring it on!" roared the plant-man as he activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.

* * *

Danzo was feeling pretty weak.

Nothing, _nothing_, had any effect at all on the strange orange-haired, ripple-eyed pair in front of him.

His new Uchiha-style fire jutsu had simply been dodged, even when the target wasn't looking at him.

His strongest wind jutsu had been merely been dissipated.

His revolutionary Scorch Style fire/wind jutsu (Danzo didn't even _know _of any Scorch users anymore) had been brushed aside by some gravity jutsu like a triviality.

His _extra _revolutionary Scorch Style collaboration fire/wind jutsu with his summon Baku was even worse. The Yahiko look-a-like had pushed the flaming attack at Baku and knocked the animal out.

Adding insult to injury, Danzo supposed. His summon had been dissipated by Danzo's own attack.

Poof.

Danzo had even managed to tap into Hashirama's abilities a bit.

Not that it had helped. Danzo's only reward was to watch his wooden projectiles fly right back at him.

Danzo breathed heavily. He was hopelessly outclassed.

Something broke in him.

"Who are you?" bellowed Danzo.

The** Deva** Path's only response was to pick up a handful of pebbles from the ground.

The orange-haired man slowly released the pebbles at Danzo, one-by-one, accelerating them to flaming meteorites with the Shinra Tensei.

Flaming pebbles. That was his method of defeating Danzo.

Danzo flew into the air, his body knocking around as the burning bits of rock pierced his vital points and shattered the surrounding bones.

* * *

Orochimaru had reached the cave of "Bipolar Jugo" in just under an hour.

It was funny, in a way. The famed snake sannin, kidnapping a 4 year-old child.

The pedophile began to jump off in search of Kimimaro, but then thought better of it.

Tobi and Danzo probably wanted their curse seals as soon as possible.

'Perhaps it would be wiser to just return to the Mountain's Graveyard,' decided Orochimaru. 'They'll probably want their curse seals in celebration of defeating Pain.'

The snake sannin sealed an unconscious Jugo into a storage scroll and pocketed it.

Orochimaru turned around and made his way back to Tobi's...no, _his _laboratory.

* * *

The crow that Itachi had sent to Amegakure gave up on Nagato and found Konan instead.

It flapped its way towards her and dropped its note into her hands.

Konan was surprised. She hadn't been expecting mail.

The paper mistress immediately could tell that the scroll was harmless, so she opened it.

She opened it up and gasped at the contents.

_To whomever it may concern,_

_I'm trying to reach Nagato Uzumaki and the Akatsuki. If you represent either, please respond to my crow._

_As a sign of goodwill, I'll warn you right now that the masked man who corresponds with the Akatsuki is Obito Uchiha and will stab you all in the back._

_He is truly dangerous, and he poses a potential threat to even Nagato._

_I hope that you now trust that I am acting in your best interests and will respond with equally innocuous intentions._

_Cordially,_

_Chita_

Konan whispered to the crow, "Nagato's not here. He just went to confront the masked man."

The crow dissipated.

* * *

Konan was in a panicked state.

This "Chita" had just confirmed all of Nagato's suspicions and established that her friend was in danger fighting Tobi.

It would take to long to recall all of the Akatsuki members. Kisame was spying in the Hidden Cloud right now, and Kakuzu was selling bounties god-knows-where.

Konan would make do with the new one. "Hey, Sasori?"

The red-haired puppeteer turned his head from across the room.

Konan sighed. "How would you feel about an assassination/support mission?"

Sasori smiled.

* * *

As he received Konan's response from his crow, Itachi slammed his fist on the hospital night stand.

This was bad.

Nagato probably didn't know that Tobi had allied with Orochimaru, Black Zetsu, and Danzo.

More importantly, he didn't know that Orochimaru and Black Zetsu were also from the future.

That was a disadvantage.

Nagato would easily win against Black Zetsu, Tobi, and Danzo, but Orochimaru was a wild card.

Itachi wanted to make sure that his only adult ally would survive.

And the young Uchiha, unfortunately, wouldn't be able to help with the confrontation due to his contract seal.

He didn't fancy killing an entire ecosystem and suffering for hours on end.

Also, he was in the hospital. So he would make do with what he had.

The young Uchiha wrote a new letter to Kakashi as fast as he could.

He hoped that Nagato would appreciate ANBU support.

**Thanks for reading! Chapter 13 comes out on Sunday, April 13th. Review to let me know what you're thinking!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto. Please support the official release.**

**Chapter 13:**

Tobi was getting desperate. The **Asura** Path and the **Naraka** Path were an invincible duo.

It had been a brutal battle.

_2 minutes in..._

Tobi concluded that the robotic **Asura** Path was indestructible.

The bald corpse had scored countless hits on Obito. Even though Obito tried to minimize damage with intangibility, he had burn wounds everywhere.

It was nearly impossible to score a hit on either of them, too, seeing as Tobi never had enough time to perform a jutsu; he was far too busy dodging for his own life.

_5 minutes in..._

After throwing off his burning cloak, Obito grew a wooden spike and threw a picture-perfect trajectory straight at the **Asura** Path.

Tobi held in his breath. Would it hit?

The extremely dense wooden spike hit home, driving straight through the Path's forehead.

Then the **Asura** Path's neck started to bubble. Something started protruding from the ugly mess.

Obito groaned.

He thought that destroying its head would incapacitate it.

The **Asura** Path had merely grown another head.

_8 minutes in..._

The Uchiha had even given up and tried to escape. Madara's lab wasn't worth his life-the experiments could be rebuilt if necessary.

Emphasis on _tried._

"Kamui!" grunted Tobi through gritted teeth. His body was singed everywhere, and it was starting to get to him.

The vortex started to open up, taking Obito's body with him.

Then he saw the **Asura** Path's missile coming from the side. It started to warp into the vortex with him.

Tobi panicked. He couldn't survive a head on explosion, especially not after the injuries he'd already sustained.

The masked Akatsuki canceled the Kamui and settled for intangibility.

The missile passed through him harmlessly and obliterated several trees behind Tobi.

He'd survive for now and hopefully escape later.

_15 minutes in..._

Apparently, Nagato had had enough.

Because the Asura Path was now just firing missiles nonstop at Tobi with the Naraka Path standing back-to-back with it, watching for any trouble.

Tobi had held his intangibility as long as he could, but the five-minute limit on intangibility was approaching quickly.

Suicidal.

That was the only appropriate descriptor for his "plan" to win.

Tobi turned off his intangibility for just a moment. His intangibility was the only thing between him and a dozen missiles' worth of pain.

Quickly, Obito channeled as much chakra as could into his hands.

In the meantime, half a dozen missiles slammed into his body and exploded.

Tobi withstood the the destructive battering of his body.

He slammed his palms on the ground and managed to croak out, "**Wood Style****: Underground Roots Technique**..."

The jutsu took effect.

Obito immediately turned intangible again, but the damage had been done.

Well, for one, Tobi had barely any legs to speak of, and his left arm was mostly Zetsu goo.

Most of his innards had been charred to a crisp, and his head was on fire.

But his goal had been accomplished.

Tobi's last-ditch jutsu had worked.

The **Asura** Path had been torn apart by the massive wooden roots created by the last of Tobi's chakra.

Each of its limbs had been wrapped at least thrice around by the thick roots.

Its torso was skewered to the ground by a sharp branch.

And most importantly, the **Asura **Path's neck had been completely severed by a particularly vicious vine.

It was finally incapacitated.

As Tobi sank into unconsciousness, he hoped that the others would be able to defeat Nagato and get him medical attention.

Oh, Tobi. If only you knew.

* * *

"**Summoning****: King of Hell**!" shouted the **Naraka** Path.

The demonic entity emerged from the ground and swallowed up the defeated **Asura **Path.

* * *

Nagato smiled. One enemy down.

* * *

The Giant Panda screamed.

Black Zetsu was tearing the bear apart when he noticed that he couldn't move his legs. It almost felt like a rope binding him...

He turned around and saw nothing.

Then the Giant Snake-Tailed Chameleon came into view. Its tongue had wrapped around Black Zetsu's entire body already.

Black Zetsu smirked. He prepared to erupt into wooden spikes and rip apart the Giant Chameleon's Tongue.

He pushed Mokuton chakra through all of his tenketsu points, and yelled out, "Die!"

But nothing happened.

He tried again. "I said DIE!"

Black Zetsu was utterly incapable of channeling offensive chakra.

Starting to panic, the plant-man tried one last time. "Goddamn it, DIE already!"

It seemed that all of his chakra was being redirected.

Black Zetsu looked over his other shoulder.

He blanched.

The **Preta** Path's hand rested on Black Zetsu's shoulder, siphoning off all of Black Zetsu's chakra.

Black Zetsu started to feel dizzy, probably from massive chakra loss.

He came to the startling realization that this was probably it for him.

Black Zetsu noticed a black chakra rod being thrusted at his left eye.

His consciousness slowly faded. Everything was turning black and red.

Even as the **Preta** Path brained him straight through his eye socket, Black Zetsu noticed that his right eye was burning with chakra for no apparent reason.

* * *

Nagato smiled. Two enemies down.

* * *

As Danzo lay dying from a dozen pebble-sized punctures, his fuuinjutsu activated.

The Reverse Four Symbols Seals appeared on his bleeding torso.

"Fool," Danzo spat. Blood dribbled out of his mouth. "You've killed yourself, Yahiko. The fuuinjutsu will swallow you up anytime, now..."

The **Deva** Path merely pulled Danzo towards itself with a quick Bansho Tenin.

Before any of the symbols had expanded outwards to swallow the environment, the **Human** Path placed its hand on Danzo's head.

"**Human Path****: Soul Reap**!"

Danzo dropped dead.

And although Danzo's fuuinjutsu was rigged to activate upon a fatal wound, it still needed Danzo's chakra to work.

Danzo had to be _near _death, not actually departed from the land of the living.

With its user lifeless on the ground, the Reverse Four Symbols Sealing Technique retracted back onto Danzo's chest.

And the **Human** Path had all of Danzo's memories and intel, too boot.

* * *

Nagato smiled. Three enemies down.

And now for the finishing touch.

* * *

Kakashi had come to enjoy the letters from "Chita."

They had been surprisingly informative.

Already, Kakashi had launched investigations into ROOT's activities.

They hadn't turned up anything substantial, but the hints themselves were ominous enough.

Investigations into the late Kabuto Yakushi, found that he was linked to both ROOT and Orochimaru.

Kakashi continued to ponder Konoha's situation as his Kage Bunshin filled out paperwork.

"CAW!"

Excellent.

Chita's scroll, as usual, was dropped on Kakashi's desk.

Unusually, however, the crow never poofed out of existence. It stayed and watched Kakashi.

The Fifth Hokage read the letter, his face whitening increasingly.

_Dear Hokage-sama,_

_This letter is not an intel letter, although it does provide information on foreign shinobi._

_No, this is an urgent call for help._

_Jiraiya once had a pupil from the Hidden Rain named Nagato, who is a Rinnegan user. He is likely the most powerful ninja in the world right now. No, this is not a joke; Jiraiya can confirm for you, but we honestly don't have any time to waste by doing so._

_I just received word from one of my sources that Nagato has gone off to the Mountain's Graveyard. I have reason to believe that the current inhabitants of the Mountain's graveyard are Orochimaru, Danzo, a creature named Zetsu, and a certain someone from your past (let's call him Tobi). It's really not my place to tell you who Tobi is; it wouldn't help you, and I think you should find out for yourself._

_According to my source, Nagato only know about Tobi, your former associate. And while I certainly think he can easily handle Danzo, Zetsu, and Tobi, I am supremely concerned that Orochimaru may present a threat to him, especially since the snake has the element of surprise._

_I repeat: it is my opinion that Orochimaru will present a major threat to Nagato._

_Therefore, I _urgently _request that you send at least a few ANBU squads (preferably more, with yourself in attendance as well) to assist Nagato, for a few reasons._

_1) Nagato could be a great ally to Konoha if we choose to help him right now._

_2) All four of his enemies are incredibly powerful missing-nin, and two are from Konoha. We have an obligation to deal with our own missing-nin._

_3) Orochimaru and Danzo have a penchant for human experimentation. We cannot allow the Rinnegan to fall into their hands._

_4) Should Konoha defeat the missing-nin, your ROOT investigations will be expedited acutely, and we can eliminate Orochimaru's hideouts once and for all._

_Thus, I urge you to consider this request. Time is of the essence._

_Sincerely,_

_Chita_

* * *

Just after the King of Hell spat out a rejuvenated **Asura** Path, the 6 Paths of Pain all rose into the air.

They converged in a single spot overlooking the entire mountain range.

Nagato concentrated.

The **Deva** Path gathered chakra with its arms outstretched.

This was it. The end of all of Tobi and Madara's machinations.

The **Deva **Path boomed, "Know pain. **Shinra Tensei**!"

A deep rumbling began from the ground under the 6 Paths.

Suddenly, a massive shockwave ripped through the Mountain's Graveyard with the **Deva** Path as the epicenter.

The sheer force of the jutsu flattened and spread the landscape like putty.

The seismic roar died out in a circle one mile in diameter with the **Deva** Path at its center.

Within seconds, Nagato had reduced the Mountain's Graveyard to a crumbling crater.

The red-haired Uzumaki coughed out blood and panted.

"That was totally chakra-taxing," he mumbled to himself, "But totally worth it."

Maybe his brother Naruto would get a real childhood this time without those 3 evil bastards messing with his life.

* * *

Orochimaru jumped through the forests and finally arrived at the Mountain's Graveyard.

He initially thought that he had made a mistake. Had he taken a wrong turn?

Orochimaru was standing in front of a massive crater.

But no, the fragments of the mammoth's skeleton were visible half-buried in the ground.

The pedophile recognized the jutsu that had destroyed his new home.

Shinra Tensei.

Nagato. The brat had done this.

The snake sannin sped towards the cave, praying that the laboratory had made it.

It hadn't.

Upon turning on his Byakugan, Orochimaru realized that Madara Uchiha's old hideout had completely caved in. Perhaps the most crucial of supplies could be salvaged and reused, but no more than that.

A small detail at the edge of his vision caught his attention.

Orochimaru immediately recognized the 6 cloaked figures in the sky.

Pain.

So the brat _did _do it.

But then he noticed something that he'd never seen with his own eyes before. His Byakugan saw chakra waves being emitted from the figures.

Upon closer inspection, Orochimaru realized that they were chakra receptors.

Of course! He'd never realized it before without his dojutsu, but Nagato must have been controlling his Paths like puppets.

Orochimaru had never mastered senjutsu, and he never would in this body-it was too frail.

But he could still use nature chakra.

And he was a natural sensor.

Channeling the energy from his environment, Orochimaru began searching through all of the chakra signatures nearby.

There was a massive signature coming from the top of the mountain.

Orochimaru turned on his Byakugan and peered closely in that direction. Indeed, it did appear that something on the mountain was giving off chakra.

He turned off his Byakugan and sped off to Nagato's hiding spot on top of the mountain of the Mountain's Graveyard.

* * *

Sasori, hidden in his Hiruko puppet, made his way to the Mountain's Graveyard.

The puppet master had to cross half the diameter of the Land of Fire to get there.

But the red-haired youth hated to make people wait.

He wasn't the fastest puppet user ever for nothing.

'Just a few hours,' Sasori thought. 'Just a few hours to meet my new boss.'

* * *

Nagato heard branches cracking and cursed.

He coughed up some more blood.

Nagato sat on the highest spot of the mountain, still drained from the last Shinra Tensei.

With his immobile legs and temporary chakra impairment, Nagato was a sitting duck.

Pain prayed with all his heart that the noise was just from a particularly jumpy squirrel.

Oh, Nagato. If only you knew.

* * *

Orochimaru saw the emaciated red-haired man perched in a mechanical walker atop the tallest tree.

Nagato saw the snake sannin jumping trees in the distance.

The two legendary ninja made eye contact.

**Author's Note: I had a lot of trouble deciding the next results of the next battle. Orochimaru is a pretty awesome villain, especially with the dojutsu.  
Pain is a weakened god, but a god nonetheless.**

**Will Nagato survive this battle? Or will his destruction of the villains' lair be his last stand? ****Since I'm so indecisive, I decided to leave the decision to you, my readers.**

**So leave your votes in the reviews on what YOU want for the next chapter! Just type "Nagato should survive" or "Nagato should die" into your review to vote.****  
**

**I look forward to hearing back from all of you. Enjoy your one chance at democracy.**

**Signing off,**

**PNJ**


	14. Chapter 14

**Holy shit. You guys are awesome. The last chapter alone has gotten 98 reviews, which is more than all of the reviews from the other chapters combined!**

**The vote on Nagato's survival/death has been ridiculously successful. It was nice to hear from all of you, especially your reasoning as to the plotline.**

**Also, this story reached 200 followers today. 100 more, and I'll make a really bad pun on King Leonidas.**

**In short, you guys are awesome. Keep reviewing, and enjoy the next chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I wish I did.**

**Chapter 14:**

Byakugan met Rinnegan.

"Orochimaru," noted Nagato with surprise and forced calmness. "I don't recall you having that eye…before."

"Pain," replied Orochimaru snidely. "I'm sure that you wouldn't have remembered me as Jiraiya's teammate from that one rainy night in Amegakure. So you also…kukuku, how interesting."

Nagato looked at the sannin in shock. "You…you're from the future as well?"

The snake pedophile laughed. "Of course. First Hiruzen, then Minato, then _Zetsu_, then you. What a surprise this has been!"

The red-haired Uzumaki stared. "So the Zetsu that I just killed was from—"

Suddenly, Orochimaru's expression shifted into one of loathing and annoyance.

An awkward silence.

"One thing I don't appreciate," Orochimaru drawled. "Is people killing my confederates and experiments."

Nagato was in a state of mild panic. Actually, screw mild. The God of the Hidden Rain was in a full-blown anxiety attack. His 6 Paths were flying towards him as fast as possible, but they were on the other side of the crater. It would take at least a minute for them to arrive.

Meanwhile, he had the strongest of the sannin in front of him in a very-pissed-off state. Nagato wasn't even mobile; the closest thing to mobility that he had was his mechanical walker, which was hopelessly slow.

'Fuck caution,' thought the red-haired Uzumaki. 'You only live once…or twice, right?'

Pain prepared the most reckless plan he could think of.

Both Nagato and Orochimaru tensed up.

Then, they both moved as one.

Orochimaru acted first.

The snake sannin leapt back. "**Quadruple Shadow Clone Jutsu**!" purred Orochimaru.

His four Kage Bunshin jumped dozens of yards away and formed a rectangle around the two shinobi.

"**Ninja Art:**" the 4 clones hissed. "**Four Violet Flames Formation**!"

Nagato wasn't far behind.

The Akatsuki's leader shattered his mechanical walker with a wind-enhanced punch. Splinters flew everywhere, revealing his raw, injured legs.

Meanwhile, an **Asura** Path-style exoskeleton formed around his lower limbs. Robotic plates, wires, and gears rapidly covered the crippled legs. With a finishing _clack_, the motors began whirring. Nagato would never run a marathon with those legs, but the Hidden Rain God was at least mobile.

The two ninja leapt at each other within the barrier.

The fight was on.

* * *

The 6 Paths of Pain arrived too late. Seconds before they had arrived at the main body's location, a purple barrier had emerged, surrounding Nagato and Orochimaru.

Five of the Paths tried to force their way into the barrier. The corpses immediately became engulfed in flames.

The **Deva** Path, which was still extremely depleted from the giant **Shinra Tensei**, traveled a lot slower than the rest of the Paths. Thankfully, it lagged far enough behind for Nagato to stop it from flying into the barrier.

Unfortunately, the **Deva **Path was both powerless and unable to break through the barrier.

* * *

Kakashi was in a whirl. With a crow perched on his shoulder, he turned to the ten ANBU in front of him.

"Does everyone understand this mission? _Failure is not an option!_"

The elite shinobi exchanged worried glances. Dealing with the most powerful shinobi in the land wasn't something you did every day.

"Right behind you all the way, Captain!" Tenzo said quietly.

Kakashi smiled grimly under his mask. "Alright, then, team. I know we can do this. Move!"

The ANBU present all dispersed.

Before joining them, Kakashi paused.

He turned around and put the Hokage's hat on his head and Shunshin'd away.

Kakashi Hatake had grown to accept his new job.

* * *

"I don't like to keep people waiting," muttered Sasori. "Now, where is this 'Mountain's Graveyard?' All I see is a hole in the ground…"

Then he saw the purple prism and the 6 bodies floating around it in the distance.

* * *

Nagato narrowly avoided the Sword of Kusanagi coming out of Orochimaru's mouth.

What a creep.

The giraffe-necked sannin had learned his lesson earlier and now purposefully avoided using all ninjutsu.

It all began with a massive **Katon** jutsu from the snake. Nagato had absorbed it using the **Preta **Path's abilities and pulled out some of the control rods in his back. His cheeks grew a little less gaunt.

Of course, Orochimaru's Byakugan noticed the absorption technique. He decided to stick to Hebi-style taijutsu.

Ever since, the snake pedophile had slithered rapidly around Nagato, constantly stretching to strike Nagato with his Sword of Kusanagi. Nagato only had time to dodge and block the occasional glancing slash with another robotic shield.

Nagato Uzumaki grew increasingly frustrated. He could move his legs a bit, but he was still far too slow for Orochimaru. If only Nagato could land a single hit, it would be all over. There were so many ways that Nagato could destroy Orochimaru. He could suck out all of Orochimaru's chakra, tear out Orochimaru's tongue, or just rip out Orochimaru's soul. It was too bad that the one Path that Nagato couldn't use yet, the **Deva** Path, was the only one that could draw Orochimaru in for the kill.

Oh, and the Six Paths were all incapacitated and blocked out. That sucked too.

Apparently, Orochimaru also knew how badly he needed to keep Nagato away from him. He was literally risking his neck with every strike, but it was necessary to never give Nagato enough time to attack.

The two continued to dance (with Orochimaru wildly swinging his neck and Nagato subtly shifting defensively) when a seventh cloaked figure arrived.

* * *

Sasori looked at the orange-haired, swirly-eyed body in front of him. It lay down next to 5 burnt corpses. How odd.

They had seemed lifeless until the only non-burnt one stood up and looked him in the eye.

"Hello, Sasori," the **Deva **Path spoke. "It's nice to have you here. I am speaking to you through one of my six avatars. Don't ask how, but I'm the red-haired one inside-"

The Path stopped abruptly and collapsed bonelessly.

Sasori raised his eyebrow. But the figure in the purple box checked out. Red hair? Check. Dojutsu? Check. Bone-thin emaciation? Check. "So you must be Nagato-sama?"

The **Deva **Path opened its eyes, jumped up, and responded, "Yes—sorry about that. If you can't tell, I'm kind of focused on survival. I can't really focus much attention on my other bod—Gah!—ies. I'm assuming that Konan inducted you into the Akatsuki already?"

Sasori nodded. He was suitably impressed. How had Nagato-sama figured that out? Moreover, how did the Leader know his name?

The orange-haired Path managed a few more sentences. "Well, Sasori, your first order is to break this goddamn barrier. I'll be able to take care of the rest."

The last Path immediately dropped to the ground, but Sasori didn't care.

He had a job to do, and dammit, it looked like a fun challenge.

* * *

From the inside of the barrier, Nagato sighed in exhaustion. Fighting while depleted of chakra and engaging in another conversation simultaneously wasn't easy. He blinked back his fatigue.

Taking advantage of Nagato's short distraction, Orochimaru lunged for the kill, aiming for Nagato's neck.

A word about the Rinnegan: as an evolution of the Sharingan, the Rinnegan can also track every detail within the field of vision, no matter what the user is thinking. So, in spite of his fatigue, Nagato noticed the split-second shift in Orochimaru's stance before his last lunge.

The Kusanagi's arc towards Nagato's neck was stopped by the **Asura **Path's abilities once again. But this time, Nagato was more prepared.

Orochimaru's blade smacked into a newly-formed solid metal plate under Nagato's chin. Being the sharpest and hardest blade in the universe, the Kusanagi dug into the metal slightly.

Nagato closed his eyes and concentrated. The **Asura's **metal plate quickly grew around the Kusanagi, coating it in a layer of metal.

The metal plate quickly transformed into sheath, wrapping the Kusanagi over and over in solid steel.

Orochimaru realized Nagato's plan and immediately tried to pull his sword back, but it was too late. The sword was firmly stuck to Nagato's neck by a cocoon of etched metal. The snake sannin tugged and tugged, but the sword wouldn't come free.

The Uzumaki leaned his head and detached the massive mass of metal from his neck. Throwing the useless mess of steel away, Nagato looked Orochimaru in the eye and smirked. Orochimaru's best weapon had been neutralized.

The snake sannin lost it for a moment and threw an enraged punch at Nagato.

The Hidden Rain's Shinobi God caught the hand and took advantage of the worst mistake that Orochimaru could have made.

Nagato clutched Orochimaru's fist as hard as he could, even wrapping it in yet another **Asura**-style contraption to bind their hands together.

"**Human**** Path****: Soul Reap!"****  
**

Orochimaru internally screamed.

"Not this soul-sucking bullshit again!" he raged. "This is like Hiruzen all over again!"

* * *

Kakashi's ANBU team landed in the Mountain's Graveyard. Sure, it was halfway across the Fire Country, but they weren't elite shinobi for nothing.

Seeing the distinctive Four Violet Flames Formation, the ANBU carefully approached the cloaked puppet trying to break in.

* * *

Sasori grinned from inside Hiruko. This was a challenge, indeed.

He had determined that the barrier was made of pure Katon chakra (hence why all of the branches he dipped into the barrier ricocheted backwards in flame).

Sasori didn't know how to repel chakra, but he'd do his best to try. The missing-nin of the Red Sand began to try forcing his own puppet threads in…

The puppet master froze.

A kunai pressed against Hiruko's neck.

"We are Konoha nin, here to support one Nagato Uzumaki," Kakashi said calmly. "Identify yourself."

* * *

Orochimaru held onto his soul and tugged as hard as he could.

Nagato was too weak to completely pull it out, much like Hiruzen had been. In fact, Nagato could barely get a single arm out.

Despite the dire circumstance, the snake sannin held hope. He was stronger than Pain; he could pull his soul back in and kill the Uzumaki.

Then Nagato began to suck Orochimaru's chakra using the **Preta **Path in addition to sucking out Orochimaru's soul using the **Human **Path.

Nagato's emaciated body began to fill. Musculature began to build around all of his limbs and some bulk formed around his body. Soon, his ribs weren't even visible and his arms had a healthy layer of flesh around them. The control rods in Nagato's back began to fall out, one-by-one. Finally Nagato's face filled up and looked healthy. And very, very pissed.

More importantly, Orochimaru had nearly been sucked dry of chakra by the blasted Uzumaki.

With renewed vigor, Nagato yanked at an exhausted Orochimaru's soul.

The snake sannin still held on, but he was now fighting a losing battle.

* * *

Orochimaru was not a fool. He knew every detail of the human anatomy, and his Byakugan made everything even clearer. So when he constructed Black Zetsu's new body, he used Kushina Uzumaki's blood for a reason: Uzumaki chakra's life force synthesized with Senju chakra's healing power extremely well.

Of course, no combination of Uzumaki and Senju chakra could heal a fatal wound to the brain, especially not a control rod thrust straight into the eyeball, through the brain, and out the skull on the opposite side.

Luckily, that wasn't exactly the case for Black Zetsu. Nagato had missed his brain.

Recall that Black Zetsu is the right half of his Zetsu body. His main brain is entirely on the right side.

The left side of his body serves only 2 purposes: to store the left Sharingan and produce Uzumaki chakra.

Waking up, Black Zetsu slowly pulled Nagato's control rod from his destroyed left eye socket.

So even though his left "brain" swirled around as Zetsu goo and even though his left Sharingan had been obliterated, Black Zetsu was still alive.

The black plant-man began stumbling towards the destroyed lab. Hopefully, Hashirama's clone could patch him up.

And the why the flipping hell did everything look weirdly sharp?

Any observer would have squeaked with fear looking at Black Zetsu. His generally unattractive appearance notwithstanding, he had goo dripping down the left side of his face from an empty eye socket and gory bits of **Animal **Path summons all over his arms.

More importantly, however, the near-death experience had changed Black Zetsu's right Sharingan.

The black plant-man groggily looked at the world through a ripple-patterned eye.

**Again, thanks to all of you for being such amazing readers! The end vote for Nagato's survival was 90 to 8, in favor of Nagato living. To have so many people express an interest in the outcome of the story was awesome! I'll definitely be doing similar polls in the future-it seemed that reviewers enjoyed it as well.**

**And thanks for reading! Chapter 15 comes out on Sunday, April 27th. Review to let me know what you're thinking!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**Chapter 15:**

"I am Sasori of the Akatsuki," said the puppet master from within Hiruko. "As you can tell from my garb, I am here to support Nagato-sama as well. Do you know how to break this barrier?"

The Fifth Hokage Kakashi Hatake pondered it. Sasori...the name seemed so familiar. "Hold on. Sasori...are you, perchance-"

Interrupting, one of the ANBU blurted, "No doubt it's Sasori of the Red Sand, the S-class missing-nin from Sunagakure. He can't be trusted."

All of the Konoha nin tensed in response, on alert now from the reminder that Sasori was a missing-nin. Kakashi turned to Sasori. "Is this true?"

The puppet master knew that what he said next could mean life or death for him; there was no way he could take on 3 squads' worth of ANBU and the fucking Hokage, the Copy-nin of the Leaf. He had to be extraordinarily careful with his words. Well, time to turn up the old charm.

Sasori turned to the Konoha ninja and said, "Yes, I am Sasori of the Red Sand. Yes, I'm a missing-nin. However, as we are in a current informal alliance in support of Uzumaki-sama, I would simply ask that you hold off any rash choices until after the battle. It seems unlikely that Nagato-sama would appreciate you striking down his subordinate, and I assume that you're here to establish a relationship with him, yes? So if we could establish some trust...here, I'll give you a little something in good will."

The puppet master reached into one of his robe's pocket...

All of the ANBU tensed up, ready to strike him down.

...and brought out a clearly blank scroll and brush.

The ANBU relaxed, if only a tiny bit.

"I'm writing down the cure for one of my signature poisons," explained Sasori as he scribbled down a formula. "As I understand, both Sunagakure and Konogakure have spent years trying to find the antidote; one of you can send this to Konoha via summon."

Sasori slowly handed the hastily written scroll to the Hokage. With a slight hesitation, Kakashi accepted the gift and bit his thumb. "**Kuchiyose no Jutsu**!"

Pakkun appeared in a poof of smoke. "Hey, Cyclops. 'Sup?"

The Hokage smiled at the dog. "I'm gonna need you to reverse summon this scroll to one of the dogs at the Konoha Medical Hospital and have the staff there verify whether this is authentic. Get the message back to us as quickly as possible, okay?"

Pakkun nodded. "You got it!"

Poof.

Kakashi turned to Sasori. "You'll have our support if the medic-nins at Konoha approve your scroll, but if you do anything, and I mean _anything, _suspicious, we will kill you before you can blink. Understood?"

Sasori look him dead in the eye. "I wouldn't have it any other way. Now, let's get down to business. I hate to keep people waiting."

* * *

Orochimaru grit his teeth. His soul was literally being ripped out, and it didn't feel nice.

Nagato struggled to end the fight. He would likely never get an opportunity to trap Orochimaru close-range like this ever again if Orochimaru managed to break out and escape; the snake was too wily.

By now, both the arms and part of the torso of Orochimaru's soul extended from the snake's chest. The sannin's only comfort was that Nagato didn't have the Shinigami with him to cut off a portion of his soul like Hiruzen did. Undoubtedly, cutting off the soul mid-torso would cause Orochimaru's organs to immediately go into necrosis. Killing off Orochimaru's internal organs was as good as ripping out his entire soul; death became inevitable either way. So Orochimaru took solace in the fact that, yes, he was still alive.

'Just a little bit more,' Nagato thought.

'Fuck this!,' Orochimaru raged internally.

The two shinobi both fought with everything they had until Nagato felt something spark within his chakra network.

The Deva Path's powers had returned.

* * *

Everyone outside the barrier waited tensely. The match inside the box wasn't going anywhere, and though Sasori was furiously hurling out chakra threads at the barrier, nothing happened. Orochimaru's barrier seemed to be impenetrable.

The ANBU watched the puppet master tensely. Until the dog returned, they couldn't risk trusting the most dangerous puppet user in the world. The ANBU wouldn't attack Sasori, but they wouldn't help just yet.

A few minutes after the initial summoning, Pakkun returned.

"Hey, boss," greeted the summon. "I heard back from the lab dogs, and they said it checked out. Actually, the dogs at the hospital said that one of the doctors fainted upon seeing the formula, said something about it being horrifyingly-"

Kakashi interrupted. "Thanks, Pakkun. You can go now."

Poof!

The Copy-nin turned to Sasori. "Alright, we're behind you. Is there anything we can do to help?"

Sasori thought about it. "I don't think so, Hokage-sama. You see," explained the red-haired puppet user. "The barrier is made from pure Katon chakra. Anything touching the barrier reflects and bursts into flame."

The ANBU muttered amongst themselves, clearly unnerved by the nature of the barrier.

Tenzo spoke up. "So all we need is a jutsu that can repel chakra, right?"

Before Sasori could answer, a voice spoke up behind them.

"Correct," said the **Deva **Path in its gravelly voice. "My powers have returned, and I can repel the chakra in the barrier long enough for you to storm into the barrier and incapacitate the snake."

Everyone jumped at the new sound behind them. The Hokage narrowed his eyes at the **Deva **Path. He looked like a shady figure at best, and he hadn't done a thing to support them yet...

Kakashi turned to Sasori. "Can we trust him?"

The puppet user nodded. "I think he's like a puppet being controlled by my master, Nagato. It's definitely a corpse."

With a subtle nod from Kakashi, all of the ANBU moved off to the side.

The ninja made room for the orange-haired Rinnegan-wielding corpse to walk up to the barrier. He held both his palms up to the barrier.

"**Shinra Tensei**!" shouted the **Deva **Path.

Waves of gravity rapidly diffused from the **Deva **Path's palms. A hole in the barrier blasted open, wide enough for half a dozen shinobi.

Then all hell broke loose.

* * *

Black Zetsu managed to smash open the collapsed wall of the laboratory. The ceiling had caved in, destroying most of the lab equipment.

The plant-man quickly searched for the items most vital to their situation. His findings weren't pleasing.

Madara's old garb and weapons? Crushed beyond repair.

Madara's corpse? Relatively intact. Zetsu heaved a sigh of relief.

The Sharingans on the wall? Destroyed, every single one of them.

The prisoners? Dead, all of them. Zetsu felt like kicking something; every one of them had a kekkei genkai.

Hashirama's clone? Damaged but intact. Hopefully, Orochimaru would be able to repair it. _If_ the snake had made it out of the battle alive, that is.

The White Zetsu army? Obliterated by the fallen ceiling. They could be replaced, though.

Black Zetsu acted quickly to salvage what he could. He carefully moved the rubble in one corner of the room and gingerly dug out the damaged coffin with Lord Madara's corpse in it. Then, the plant-man pulled the clone of Hashirama Senju from the wall and made a protective woody fiber around it. Finally, Black Zetsu went over to prisoners (well, corpses now) and harvested a Byakugan (yes, from the same unfortunate Hyuuga who lost his other eye to Orochimaru), the toothed hands of an explosion style user (yes, the same one used by Deidara of Iwa), and a vial of blood from a Hozuki clan member.

Placing all of his goodies in the center of the room, Black Zetsu formed the snake seal.

"**Wood Style:**," growled Black Zetsu. "**Cube Formation**!"**  
**

A solid wooden container enclosed the various corpses (or fragments of corpses).

Using the Mayfly Jutsu, Black Zetsu grabbed the cube and sank into the ground.

He would find a safe place to put the artifacts and find his co-conspirators. Hopefully, Nagato's idiocy wouldn't set back Madara's plans too much.

* * *

"**Shinra Tensei**!"

Orochimaru's 4 clones all felt their barrier fail as the **Deva **Path's jutsu took effect.

As Sasori and the Konoha ninja jumped through the opening that the **Deva **Path had made, the snake's Kage Bunshin released the barrier.

Each of the four clones individually contributed to a brilliant plan with no communication whatsoever.

The first clone summoned a quick Rashomon to buy a few precious seconds of time by blocking Nagato's support. The ANBU shouted as the summoned barrier cut them off.

The second hurled a **Wind Style****:**** Great Breakthrough **at the metal wrapping binding Orochimaru's hand to Nagato's. The **Asura**-style machinery shattered, freeing Orochimaru.

The third then performed a Kawarimi with the original Orochimaru. Still unbalanced from the sudden hit from the Wind jutsu, Nagato quickly yanked the "soul" out of Orochimaru's clone, dissipating it.

The fourth finally produced a fifth Kage Bunshin silently.

The original Orochimaru made his silent getaway as the confused shinobi supporting Nagato broke down the Rashomon barrier and tried to figure out which of the 5 Kage Bunshins was the real one.

"It's the one on the left!" shouted one of the ANBU. "He's the one closest to Nagato!"

"No," argued another. "Let's just hit them all! That'll show which one is him for sure."

Poof. Poof. Poof. Poof. Poof.

The ANBU kicked themselves in frustration as each of the sannin's 5 clones burst into smoke upon impact. It had been a diversion; the original had gotten away.

Nagato himself was just glad to be alive and took a deep breath.

As reckless as his preemptive strike had been, he'd done his part to set back Naruto's enemies.

* * *

Orochimaru Shunshin'd all the way to the other side of the crater searching for the bodies of his fallen allies. Zetsu had two Sharingans, Danzo had Uchiha and Senju DNA, and Tobi had both Hashirama's tissue and a set of Sharingans. The loss was regrettable, but the snake sannin was determined to harvest whatever organs he could and make the best of his situation.

He kicked himself when he realized that there was a much faster way to look for them.

"Byakugan!"

Yeah, Orochimaru really needed to get used to the eye. It was too good of an addition to not take advantage of.

Searching in all directions, the snake pedophile found what looked like Danzo's corpse not too far away.

What surprised him was Black Zetsu standing over the corpse, packaging it in a wooden coffin.

Hadn't Nagato specifically mentioned killing him?

With renewed hope, Orochimaru ran as fast as he could to Black Zetsu's location.

* * *

As much as it frustrated the Rain and Leaf shinobi, no one in the Mountain's Graveyard doubted that Orochimaru had gotten away (especially not Orochimaru himself, the arrogant bastard).

Sasori slung an exhausted Nagato over his shoulder and nodded towards the Konoha-nin. "I'll be taking my leave now, if that's alright."

Kakashi held up his hand. "Hold on, I need to speak to your master. He is the leader of Amegakure, is he not?"

Nagato nodded from atop Sasori's back. "Yes."

The Hokage then turned to Nagato. "Then from one village leader to another, we have some diplomatic relations that I'd like to hammer out. Shall we enter the conference room?"

Sasori and Nagato both looked at him in confusion. "Conference room?" they chorused in unison.

Kakashi looked at Tenzo and nodded. The Mokuton-wielding ANBU sighed.

"Wood Style:" shouted Tenzo. "Four Pillar House Technique!"

* * *

Minutes later, the two village leaders chatted away, enjoying the privacy afforded by the wooden house.

"So, Nagato," began Kakashi conversationally. "Tell me about yourself. How'd you end up becoming a ninja?"

Nagato closed his eyes, remembering. "I was an orphan, one of many created by the Third Shinobi World War. Jiraiya took me and two others in."

The Copy-nin's eyes widened. "Jiraiya of the _Sannin_?"

The Akatsuki's leader nodded. "That's the one. He trained us in ninjutsu to help us get along. Orochimaru wanted to kill us, but Jiraiya insisted that we survive. We started our organization for promoting peace, Akatsuki, with Yahiko at the head. It was going so well, but..."

Kakashi prompted. "But what?"

Nagato looked the Hokage in the eye. "Danzo of the Leaf convinced Hanzo, the leader of Amegakure at the time, to destroy the Akatsuki, perhaps out of fear of our power. I was forced to kill Yahiko in front of them."

The Hatake clan head winced. He could relate to being forced to kill friends.

It seemed that the two of them actually had a lot in common.

The red-haired Rain shinobi continued, "Our organization continued to grow despite Hanzo and Danzo's efforts, and our numbers reached the hundreds without much trouble. Set on fulfilling our visions of peace, we recently overthrew Hanzo's rule. That's how I became the ruler of Amegakure."

Kakashi could respect that. It seemed that Nagato was a sensible man. "And why the sudden attack here?"

The Uzumaki's eyes hardened. "I received...intel, you could say, that one man here, an Uchiha, was a traitor in my organization. Danzo, Orochimaru, and the creature Zetsu being here as well was just a coincidence that worked out in my favor. I have no love of Orochimaru or Danzo, as you know."

"Thanks for the background," Kakashi said with fake cheer. He had a horrible suspicion of who the Uchiha was now, given "Chita's" warning about someone from his past.

"And you?" inquired Nagato. "What's your background?"

Kakashi cleared his thoughts and began, "I was in the ANBU for many years, and I came to power when my predecessors were killed by the missing-nin that you kindly got rid of for us. My life isn't nearly as interesting as yours so I'll just get down to business: what do you envision for the relationship between our villages?"

Nagato opened his mouth and closed it again. What he was about to say would go against everything he believed in for more than half of his life. Nagato tried again and failed. The leader of Amegakure steeled his resolve and made his declaration. It would be in the best interest of his village.

"To be honest," admitted Nagato. "I hated all large villages for a really long time, Konoha included. You haven't seen what wars started by the elemental nations have down to small villages like Amegakure. But I think it's time that I moved on from that. I think that you're a great leader, and I don't see you taking advantage of the less fortunate any time soon. And I think we're strong enough now to hold our own in any skirmishes. So, with your approval, of course, I'd like to propose...an alliance between Konoha and Ame."

Kakashi looked in surprise at the proffered hand. It was still a little on the thin side, but it wasn't nearly all bone like it used to be.

The Hokage took Nagato's hand and shook. He sent up a silent prayer of thanks to "Chita"; he had just secured an alliance to a sensible Rinnegan user and an entire hidden village with little fighting and no casualties at all.

"I look forward to working with you," Kakashi said as he smiled through his mask. "We have a lot in common, Nagato."

"Yes," agreed Nagato. "We do."

The Akatsuki, Amegakure, Konohagakure, and the Land of Fire were now in formal alliance.

* * *

Black Zetsu tensed as the sound of running came from his right.

He relaxed when he saw that it was Orochimaru; of all of his companions, Orochimaru was the most valuable.

The snake sannin landed next to him and noted, "Black Zetsu...kukuku, it's good that you made it out. We seem to have had the same thought process, saving all of the corpses."

Black Zetsu nodded. "I've collected everything of use from the lab, Tobi's corpse, and Danzo's corpse now. Is there anything else you need?"

Orochimaru shook his head. "There isn't any-," the snake sannin stopped and stared at Zetsu. "Is that...is that...?"

The plant man looked at Orochimaru in confusion. "Oh, my Sharingan? Yes, Nagato pierced it with a chakra rod. I guess it's not salvageable, huh?"

The snake pedophile regained his wits and composed himself. "You mean you don't know what happened to your right eye?"

Black Zetsu looked on in confusion. "You don't mean that it was damaged, too? I _did _notice that something was off about my vision..."

Orochimaru laughed. "No, it seems that you've...you've awoken the Rinnegan."

* * *

_A few minutes later..._

Black Zetsu, Orochimaru, and the wooden cube of human parts rose up in a rice paddy on the other side of the continent.

"Your Mayfly jutsu is indispensable," noted Orochimaru. "The future Otogakure is up ahead. I have a small base there right now."

The plant-man gave up a harsh laugh. "I could care less about the village. The Land of Rice Fields isn't that interesting. But don't you think it's funny that only the two time-travelers among the four of us survived?"

The snake sannin thought about it. "Yeah, that does seem to be the case, doesn't it? By the way, what do you think we should do about Tobi and Danzo?"

Black Zetsu pondered their fallen comrades. "You mean...?"

Orochimaru finished, "I mean, how are we going to resurrect them? My Edo Tensei or your Rinne Tensei?"

**Thanks for reading! I'm taking a 2-week long hiatus for AP exams and finals. You all should take advantage of this extra time to review/PM me with any ideas you have about future directions of the story.**

**Also, Chapters 2, 3, and 4 have been completely re-written, as many of you have pointed out. Check the new chapters out if you're interested!**

**Signing off,**

**PNJ**


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: I'm back...creds to my brother Danny for helping me with my writer's block.**

**Also, in honor of BentShuriken's wonderful review, I'm implementing one of his ideas.**

**Enjoy the long-awaited chapter.**

**Chapter** **16:**

Danzo opened his eyes blearily. Everything was out of focus. Was he in the afterlife? Danzo remained reasonably certain that his enemy had killed him. He definitely remembered being battered by flaming pebbles. That was the kind of punishing defeat that no one could forget. Sure, Danzo recalled the rocks piercing each of his vital points, but the ones through his groin were both unnecessary and extremely painful.

Ah, yes, Danzo remembered. As his final battle became clearer in his mind, Danzo fixated on the one thing that he now hated more than anything else. He didn't know that name of the brat who'd killed him, but he knew the concept that the Rinnegan-using Uzumaki stood for.

Pain.

From that moment on and for the rest of his life, Danzo would hate pain and anything related to pain or Pain. He hated black cloaks. He hated orange hair. He hated body piercings. He hated Amegakure. He hated pebbles.

Most importantly, Danzo hated the Rinnegan. The deep-seated hatred for the pattern of concentric circles was more than a personal foible; no, this phobia and mania over the Rinnegan implanted itself deeply in Danzo's unconscious. His hatred of the Rinnegan became so deep and mind-consuming that he never noticed the plant-man standing over him, trying to get his attention. Danzo barely even noticed his eyes coming into focus.

That's why Danzo flipped out into a rabid rage when he saw Black Zetsu's Rinnegan staring back at him.

* * *

The lucky recipient of Black Zetsu's Samsara of Heavenly Life thrashed around his bindings on the operating table like an epileptic, angry Bruce Banner.

"What's up with him?" wondered Black Zetsu, still tired from saving Danzo's life. "I thought I'd done the Rinne Tensei right for sure…"

"Ah, that'd be my bad," smirked Orochimaru. "Danzo never got the chance to experience my Curse Seal during the last timeline because he was afraid that someone would see it and put two and two together. He didn't get to have the Curse Seal during his first life this time around either. So I took pity and implanted it onto his corpse as you made preparations."

Just as Orochimaru said, an angry red seal began pulsing on Danzo's neck. The three tomoe of the Curse Seal spun around, throwing black flame-like seals all across Danzo's torso. The unfortunate Shimura then started foaming at the mouth, eyes wide open and limbs still flailing.

This would not do.

"Fix him," demanded Black Zetsu. "Fix him _now_. We need him for our plans; his ROOT system is indispensable, and you know it. We can't have any better eyes and ears in Konoha than that."

Rolling his eyes good-naturedly, Orochimaru undid his hand seal, and the Curse Mark abated a bit. Danzo's body relaxed slightly, and his convulsions of rage died out.

"Are you happy? He should be of sound mental state now," assured Orochimaru. "Kukuku, I certainly didn't expect that, though. Not even _Sasuke-kun _had such a reaction, and he was born and raised an avenger. Danzo has true hate and fury inside him…but what else would you expect from the 'Darkness of the Shinobi,' as he called himself?"

"Yes, we can certainly manipulate that hate, especially with your Curse Mark and the promise of power," agreed Black Zetsu. "But what of Tobi?"

Orochimaru considered it. "No, I don't think it'll be necessary to resurrect him entirely. He wasn't very useful, as your Mayfly rivals his space-time jutsu, and he didn't really play an important role after the Kyuubi attack, did he?"

"He manipulated Yagura and caused a civil war in Kiri," reminded Black Zetsu.

Orochimaru dismissed the idea immediately. "Even you can cast better genjutsu now with that wonderful eye of yours. Yagura means nothing. And civil wars break out in Kiri like warts on Jiraiya's face. Causing one is utterly unremarkable. I'll keep an Edo Tensei of Tobi handy, but he's really just a tool, and he happens to be useless right now."

Black Zetsu grunted in admission. "Well, I guess I have work to do now. Shall I start building the wooden parts of the Sound base first? Or should I start planning the exploitation of the Rice Daimyo?"

"We both know the answer to that," smirked Orochimaru. "Can you make official document paper out of Mokuton?"

Somewhere in the afterlife, Madara Uchiha felt irrationally proud. He had two successors in soul: one literally carried a piece of his mind, while the other was just plain evil and manipulative.

* * *

Konan stared. "I'm sorry, _what _did you say?"

Nagato sighed. "I _said_ that I secured an alliance with Konohagakure and that I'm giving up my Pain persona."

The origami user blinked. "Come again?"

"Goddammit, Konan," Nagato forced out through clenched teeth. "This is the fourth time I'm saying this: we're allies with the Leaf, and I'm going to cut the pretentious god-like act!"

Dubiously, Konan glanced sideways at her longtime friend. "Is this a joke or something? You _hate _Konoha. And you _love _being worshipped."

"It's a long story," admitted Nagato. "I'll tell it to you some other time."

"Any other _life-changing _paradigm shifts I should know about?" asked Konan, not just a little sarcastically.

"Hm? Oh, you should probably know," Nagato remembered. "My walker was destroyed, so I'm going to learn to walk again. I think I can manage a bit with the Asura power. See? I can-"

Crash. The former God of Amegakure lay sprawled on the floor, struggling to get up.

Alright. This one surpassed extremely unusual and pushed into the extremely stupid. "You can't walk, Nagato," Konan said slowly, as if talking to a mentally challenged child with a severe concussion and hearing problems. "You haven't been able to for about four years now. So you're going to find another way to move around. Got it?"

"Okay," conceded Nagato. "The walking idea was stupid; I'll just get a wheelchair or something. But I'm serious about the Konoha alliance and stuff! I think I've found a viable path to peace!"

As undyingly loyal as she was, Konan could only take so much shit in one day. "Uh-huh. I'll go make lunch."

But somewhere in the afterlife, Yahiko was strangely proud that his best friend had transcended his own grudge-hatred against the Five Elemental Nations. Yahiko was proud that Nagato had found peace.

* * *

Jiraiya spat a spray of sake. "You _what_?"

Kakashi set down his cup. "I'm serious, I helped save a Rinnegan user from the Hidden Rain. We've set up a mutual nonaggression pact and a rudimentary alliance."

Thinking rapidly, Jiraiya drew the dots in his head. So Nagato survived, took power, and set up a working government in Rain? And then proceeded to beat the shit out of the world's strongest missing-nin? The level of badassery displayed…

"I am an awesome teacher," realized Jiraiya. "First Minato, then Nagato! Maybe the red-haired bastard really is the Child of Prophecy!"

Kakashi scratched his head. "He _did _say you knew him, but…I fail to see any of your teaching in that guy. He doesn't summon toads, use fuuinjutsu, wield senjutsu, or write porn. Like, there are seriously zero similarities between the two of you."

Jiraiya hung his head in mock sorrow. "Fuck you too, Kakashi. A guy can't have a single moment in your presence?"

But inside, Jiraiya was overjoyed. Another student had inherited _his _Will of Fire in addition to Minato. Sure, Nagato lacked the amazing flamboyance that Jiraiya had mastered, but the kid still beat Hanzo, didn't he?

The white-haired sannin experienced the joy that every teacher experiences: the moment when a student surely and truly surpasses the teacher.

* * *

"I'm so glad that you all are starting up a shinobi operation in my humble country!" gushed the Rice Daimyo. "We've been looking so long for a group of willing professionals!"

Chuckling in response to the daimyo, Orochimaru glanced at the resurrected Danzo sitting next to him.

"Oh, no," Orochimaru responded silkily. "The pleasure is _all ours_. Your resources are a great gem for our…future operations. We look forward to working with you."

"Indeed," grumbled Danzo next to him. "We expect great things out of this relationship. Any and all threats to the Land of Rice will be eliminated. We'll turn you into a leader to be feared."

"And in just four to five years, I think the village will be fully operational," added Black Zetsu. "It would have been sooner, _much sooner,_ if…certain individuals' actions could have been prevented."

_'Damn you, Nagato! Damn you to a thousand years of suffering in the Shinigami's stomach!' screamed the plant-man internally. 'We could've taken over the Leaf in under a year if you hadn't blown up the lab!'_

Quite pleased with himself (and apparently not minding Black Zetsu's fearsome appearance), the Rice Daimyo concluded, "Thanks for the business, everyone. I look forward to hearing back from you. And can I get all your names ne more time?"

"Call me Orochimaru of the Sannin," purred the snake pedophile.

"Danzo Shimura," grunted the crippled leader.

"I am…" Black Zetsu started. Then he wondered. Who was he? Could he actually continue to call himself 'Black Zetsu'? He was no longer an ordinary Zetsu, nor was he entirely black. His reconstructed Uzumaki half had a nice red sheen to it. The name 'Black Zetsu' was meaningless.

Who was he? In body, he was a mixture of some nameless Sharingan user, Hashirama Senju, and Kushina Uzumaki.

But in mind, he was…

Black Zetsu finally found his voice again. "I am Madara. Madara Uchiha."

* * *

"That'll be all, Uchiha-sama. Have a nice day!" chirped the receptionist.

"Thank you," Fugaku said gruffly. "Come along now, Itachi."

Itachi heaved a sigh of relief. He'd finally been discharged from the hospital. Never again would Itachi overestimate his own chakra reserves.

The two Uchihas exited the Konoha hospital and made their way back to the Uchiha complex.

As they walked home, Itachi asked, "Hey, dad?"

His father grunted and continued walking.

"You know the early entrance into the Academy that we were talking about?" Itachi continued.

Fugaku grunted again.

Itachi exhaled and informed, "I don't want to take it."

The head of the Uchiha clan stopped walking, bringing Itachi to an abrupt halt.

Silence. And then the storm blew in.

"What?" demanded Fugaku. "That's ridiculous! You could pass the exam in your sleep! You are easily at a chuunin level already!"

"Well, yes," admitted Itachi. "But I'm not sure that's the path I'm best suited for."

That did it. Fugaku exploded, "You are an _Uchiha_! The son of the clan head, no less! Your destiny is to become a great shinobi and one day take my place as head of the Uchiha Police Force! Do you understand?"

Itachi nodded rapidly, hoping to calm his parent down. "I know, Father. But I'm not sure I can stand killing as part of my daily job description, and that's what they train you for at the Academy. Would it be possible to, I don't know, go down a different route to the Military Police? I really want to try medical ninjutsu, and it seems like domestic police would find healing techniques more useful than killing ones, right?"

Somewhat mollified, Fugaku relented a bit. "We'll look into it at home. Maybe there is a viable option through the medic-nin path, but this is _highly _unorthodox. I'd much prefer you just stick to normal shinobi arts."

Itachi thought to himself, 'I know. So would I. But the Shinigami contract won't relent. I am now unsuited to killing.'

* * *

The Kyuubi awaited patiently. Only 2 more years until Naruto would be ready to become Naruto again! Then Naruto would have plenty of time to get ready to electrify the world with his own brand of ideals inherited from Asura Otsutsuki himself, and Kurama would support him all the way.

What Kurama didn't know was that Naruto would not actually have 'plenty of time.' Orochimaru and "Madara" were mobilizing and preparing to invade within just a few years.

Kurama also didn't know that Naruto was no longer host to Asura's soul anymore. The time travel had purged each of the time-traveler's soul from impurities.

Somewhere in the afterlife, Asura and Indra were very confused, having been completely and utterly rejected by their hosts' bodies.

* * *

_One year later..._

A year had passed since the Kyuubi attack.

Shikamaru had initially been scared of arousing suspicion by showing too many abilities too early. But then he finally bored of staring at the ceiling.

He quite literally couldn't do anything else until age one, at which point he developed the ability to run outside…

…to stare at the clouds.

A change in scenery was nice.

By this point, Shikamaru threw caution to the winds. Other people could be suspicious all they wanted.

He'd behave however the fuck he wanted to.

* * *

As a one-year old Shikamaru hobbled outside to engage in his favorite pastime (?) of observing clouds, Shikaku rubbed his head. Migraines had only gotten worse since his first son had been born.

Shikaku was a little concerned, which was uncharacteristic of a Nara.

All Nara men were lazy geniuses, but little Shikamaru was taking it a bit far. Shikaku had never even heard of a baby who could run at age 1. Most babies couldn't even walk by that age. Fortunately, Shikamaru was pretty average in that he started uttering his first words around the end of year one.

But what was weird was that little Shika didn't start out with childish phrases. No, Shikamaru's first, struggling sentence was, "That's troublesome, Dad. Can't I stare at the clouds instead?"

It seemed that before, Shikamaru could form the thoughts in his head, but his tongue and vocal chords weren't developed enough. And then the reading. Shikamaru had taught himself how to _read_ at age one. How the hell was that even possible?!

Shikaku shook his head. Why was he concerned? Shikamaru would do great things.

And as always, Shikaku was right.

* * *

_One year and two months from the Kyuubi attack..._

Little Shika looked a bit out of place at the library.

He was reasonably certain that he was the only 1-year old to ever read at the library. And he was certainly the only one to have picked up _Piaget's Stages of Cognitive Development: A Comprehensive Outlook._

Why was a toddler looking at infant psychoanalytic theory? Well, the original plan probably would have included Minato taking authority about two years into the alternate timeline and ensuring that each time-traveling toddler woke up with the right memories. That would have worked well and all, but Shikamaru was fairly certain that Minato was _dead_, having heard his parents discuss it on multiple occasions.

Hence Shikamaru's reluctant leadership role. This was all so troublesome.

'Let's see,' mused Shikamaru. 'It says here that the average baby develops long-term memory at age 18 months, but that it's not uncommon for it to kick in around 2 years. Eh, I have another year to go until my friends are ready for their future memories.'

As will all youths, Shikamaru waited until the deadline to get things done, so he spent the next year...interestingly. Oh, Shikamaru Nara, heir of the most intelligent clan in the world, made sure to set aside a special commitment for his incredible amounts of spare time.

No cloud went unseen.

* * *

_Two years from the Kyuubi attack..._

Shikamaru nearly shattered the ringing alarm clock.

How dare it interfere with his not-quite-fully developed sleep patterns! Then Shikamaru remembered what day it was.

October 10th. The second anniversary of the Kyuubi attack.

"It's finally time," whispered Shikamaru. "It's finally time to wake up my friends."

Konoha's Rookie Nine would be reborn.

**Thanks for reading! This chapter concludes the first 'part' of my story-the rest will be heavily centered around the children as they grow up. I might rename my chapters to note this change.**

**Chapter 17 comes out on May 25th! Review or PM me with any comments or concerns about the story.**

**Signing off,**

**PNJ**


	17. Chapter 17

** Author's Note: Hi, everyone. In a few days, I'll be done with school and hence will have a lot more free time. Just so y'all know, that means I'll be updating more frequently (I'm thinking probably Sundays and Wednesdays).**

**Chapter 17:**

Shikaku groaned at his son. _'This is so troublesome.'_

A two-year-old Shikamaru uncharacteristically bounced up and down. _Extremely uncharacteristically_, Shikaku noted.

Just moments ago, the young Nara heir had practically begged Shikaku to take him to a few friends' homes, with addresses and everything listed. Listed in Shikamaru's own grubby handwriting, no less. Since when could toddlers teach themselves to write?

_Naruto Uzumaki...#4 Gvt. Bureau Boulevard, Konohagakure_

_Sasuke Uchiha...1776 E. Uchiha District, Konohagakure_

_Sakura Haruno...221B Baker Street, Konohagakure_

_Ino Yamanaka...142 Southerland Avenue, Konohagakure_

_Hinata Hyuuga...N. Hyuuga Manor Apt. 1, Konohagakure_

_Shino Aburame...2718 Formicidae Drive, Konohagakure_

_Gaara Sabaku...Kazekage's Mansion, Sunagakure_

_Temari Sabaku...__Kazekage's Mansion, Sunagakure_

_Kankuro Sabaku...__Kazekage's Mansion, Sunagakure_

Shikaku sputtered when he saw that there were _nine _friends on the list. Shikamaru had _nine _friends that Shikaku didn't even know about?

He nearly fainted when he saw that 3 of them were in Suna.

Now that Shikaku looked at the list more carefully, there were some pretty high-profile names on there. Shikaku was quite familiar with Ino Yamanaka; after all, her father had been one of his closest friends. But the Sabaku siblings? As jonin leader, Shikaku was well aware that they were the Kazekage's children. Sasuke Uchiha? Son of the Uchiha clan head. Shino Aburame? Heir of the Aburame. Hinata Hyuuga? Heiress of the Hyuuga.

Naruto Uzumaki. Container of the...

"Shikamaru, I might be busy today," Shikaku said suddenly. "Nope. Can't take you."

The toddler glared.

"But Shika..." protested Shikaku.

Shikamaru's glare interrupted the adult's sentence.

Shikaku half-shouted, "Come on, three of them are in Suna!"

The jonin received another glare.

Shikaku sighed. "There's no point in arguing, is there?"

Glare.

Shikaku relented. "Fine, I'll take you. But the ones in Suna are going to have to wait. Also, I don't have anything against him, but it might be a _lot _of trouble if I have to take you to see Naru-"

Glare.

The jonin leader backtracked. "Okay, okay, we'll visit him too!"

* * *

The Naras arrived at the first address, #4 Government Bureau Boulevard. Shikamaru should have been winded from the walk, but he seemed as excited as ever.

"What's this kid doing, living on a government-owned property?" asked Shikaku to no one in particular.

Shikamaru piped up, "Orpha-"

"Orphan, I know," Shikaku said. "It was rhetorical."

The pair walked through the filthy street and up the cracked stone stairwell up to the public orphanage.

Shikaku noted the extremely old and decrepit door knocker at the entrance to the building. The metal knocker could easily have been older than Shikaku himself.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

A polite teenager answered the door. "Oh, hello. I'm Urushi. How may I help you?"

Shikaku tilted his head. "I'm here to see a...friend of ours. One Naruto Uzumaki?"

Urushi laughed. "Oh, him. Yes, right this way, room 21. He's...energetic, he is."

Shikamaru laughed as well, and Shikaku took note. Shikamaru laughed at _very_ few things.

Entering the building, Shikaku noted the...well, for lack of a better term, _crappy _living arrangements of the orphans. The wallpaper (which, incidentally, had been selected with remarkably poor taste) was peeling, the floorboards creaked with every step, and the lighting was terrible. It was quite obvious to Shikaku that the administrators of the orphanage were horribly underfunded._  
_

As they walked along the hallway to the dormitories, Shikaku asked the teenager, "Aren't you a little old to be here? I didn't know they had the resources to keep kids beyond 16."

Urushi shook his head. "They don't. I don't live here anymore; I volunteer here because we've been understaffed ever since Nono Yakushi left, and I know what it's like to be a tenant here and not have enough caretakers. It sucks."

Shikaku nodded and would have said something, but he was interrupted by an airborne water balloon.

_Splash. _Shikaku's cat-like reflexes from being a jonin for years did absolutely nothing to prevent the projectile from impacting on his forehead and soaking his entire face and torso.

Dripping wet, the jonin (now pissed off) rushed to the door labeled '21,' sure that the water balloon was Naruto's fault. He hurled the door open, looking for the dratted prankster.

Of course, the Nara was right; Naruto was, of course, the prankster. But _knowing _that didn't stop the bucket of paint balanced on the door frame from toppling over right onto Shikaku.

_Crash! Splash! _Shikaku did somewhat dodge this one and avoided the bucket itself. Luckily, his face avoided most of the paint. His clothes weren't so lucky.

Wiping some stray paint out of his eyes, Shikaku growled, "That troublesome brat. I am going to teach him a lesson..."

Walking past his father (and having avoided both pranks), Shikamaru noted, "That won't be necessary. What I'm about to do is going to probably cover a couple months' worth of punishments."

Even as his dad scratched his head in confusion, Shikamaru's sharp eyes caught a hint of orange under the bed. _'Typical Naruto,' thought Shikamaru._

Knowing better than to poke his head under the bed, the young Nara instead whispered to Naruto from a safe distance, "Get your head out of the gutter, Naruto. Meeting at my place in a week."

* * *

Within the Kyuubi mindscape, Kurama snapped his eyes open. It was time.

A teenage apparition of Naruto walked out of the giant cage and began dissolving into the sewer water of the mindscape, merging with the toddler Naruto's conscience.

Oh, the headache would be awful.

* * *

As the Naras exited the orphanage and went on to the Uchiha district, Shikaku felt both strangely satisfied and irrationally angry.

First, the anger.

"Why did you ask me to take you to the orphanage," asked Shikaku through gritted teeth (the paint stains were still quite visible). "If you were only going to say a _few words_?!"

"Eh, they were important words, dad," yawned Shikamaru.

Then the satisfaction.

Somewhat calmed, Shikaku agreed with a ghost of a smirk on his face, "Yeah. I guess they were."

Naruto started screaming his head off as soon as Shikamaru opened his mouth. His 'headache' seemed to last forever. In fact, the prankster's screams could still be heard from outside. Shikaku savored his psuedo-revenge and continued walking.

The Uchiha District was a good mile away. Shikaku's legs were already starting to tire. How could Shikamaru not be tired already?

"Hey, dad?" Shikamaru called. "I'm getting tired. Can you give me a piggyback ride?"

Shikaku moaned. 5 more houses to visit (not counting the Suna ones, which were reserved for a later date), and the other friends were scattered across Konoha. And now he had to carry Shikamaru, too.

It would be a long day.

* * *

_6 hours later..._

Shikamaru yawned and stretched out on the floor. "That was fun."

Shikaku collapsed on the sofa, too exhausted to pretend to be pissed off at his son. As troublesome as the trip had been, Shikaku did have the satisfaction of meeting up with several of his old friends (well, the ones old enough to be parents, anyway). The talk with Inoichi had been especially worthwhile.

But that didn't change the fact that his legs were burning from running the equivalent of half a marathon with Shikamaru on his back.

"Just so I can nap in peace," mumbled Shikaku. "Why did you have me carry you around town if you only said a single sentence to each of your friends? And what were you even saying? They all screamed pretty badly except that one kid."

Shikamaru responded, "Oh, you know. Stuff."

Unconvinced, Shikaku half-heartedly asked, "No, seriously, Shikamaru. What did you say?"

Smiling, the toddler asked, "Would you believe it if I said that I was testing out a new Yamanaka jutsu?"

Shikaku groaned, half in exhaustion and half in exasperation. "You dragged me around town to test out a jutsu 9 times?! You're not even allowed to try those on civilians!"

* * *

Mikoto Uchiha was confused.

Shikaku had visited on his own time (that was a first) and set up some sort of an...impromptu play date (?) with Sasuke. That was odd, because Sasuke didn't really remember Shikamaru from anywhere, and it was _Itachi _who recognized Shikamaru and encouraged Sasuke to play with him. It was even stranger that Itachi had a full-blown conversation with Shikamaru, while Shikamaru only said one sentence to Sasuke (which ended suspiciously with Sasuke screaming and crying and the Naras rushing out the door). Mikoto was just about ready to chase after them and torch them with some choice Katon jutsu, but Sasuke stopped her, sniffling that it wasn't their fault.

Since then, Sasuke had continued crying (but not, it seemed, out of pain), and hugged everyone he met. Especially Itachi.

Hn. How odd.

* * *

Sakura Haruno probably should have been hospitalized, but her parents didn't know enough about chakra, and she knew too much.

After the strange Naras left, Sakura had cried and yelled for hours from the sudden unsealing of her Yin Seal. Not only did her mind have to accomodate 16 years' worth of memories, but she also had to deal with the sudden influx and overflow of chakra from her seal. Chakra storage was, after all, the original intention of the seal. Left untreated for too long, Sakura's chakra system could be fried from the energy overload.

So Sakura basically spent half a dozen hours just burning chakra by shattering everything in her room.

Yeah, her parents _really _should have hospitalized her for extreme chakra surplus.

* * *

Inoichi Yamanaka was befuddled.

After Shikaku left following a nice chat, Ino started banging her head against the table and moaning. Completely unresponsive to pretty much everything he said, Inoichi finally tried to do a Mind Body Switch Technique to see if there was something wrong with her body.

The 2-year-old Ino completely rejected Inoichi's attempt to take over her body.

What the hell? Traditional Yamanaka procedures involved teaching mindscape projecting and mind probe defense at age _18_! The idea of her mastering that technique even as a young teenager seemed far-fetched, and her two-year-old body couldn't sustain such an effort through sheer willpower...could it?

Whatever the case, Inoichi would have a nice, long conversation with Shikaku later.

* * *

Hiashi Hyuuga was eternally grateful to the Naras.

For whatever reason, Hinata had always been a forgetful girl. And while Hiashi was always patient, Hinata would sometimes try his temper with her utter inability to remember important things sometimes. Scans of her brain had shown absolutely no tumor or anything of that nature. Given Hinata's mother's failing health, discontent within the clan, and the upcoming birth of Hinata's sister, Hiashi's kind demeanor was failing. Sooner or later, his crankiness would surface and stay there permanently.

When he visited, Shikamaru had suggested a gentle tap to the hippocampus using the Gentle Fist. Hiashi didn't even know how a toddler even knew that word, and Shikaku seemed just as surprised. When Hinata began screaming like a banshee after the suggested tap, Hiashi was ready to murder, but Hinata stopped him and clarified that her mind felt a lot clearer now. Then, she continued moaning and groaning for a couple of hours. She had a splitting headache; go figure.

Indeed, Hiashi firmly believed that Shikamaru either had freakish luck or the makings of a greater healer than Tsunade herself.

* * *

Bug #291067781973, or Charlie Jr. IV (as Shino had named him), was not a particularly smart kikaichu.

In fact, kikaichu could only retain a few pieces of information, which was all that their small brains could handle. This wasn't a problem because infiltration missions rarely involved getting more than a few names and locations, and each Aburame had millions of kikaichu to memorize information.

Kikaichu were special for many reasons. One of them was the fact that they passed information down to their offspring through a complex series of logic gates in their chakra systems. Charlie had inherited just 4 bytes of information from hundreds of generations of kikaichu tracing back to the fateful Kyuubi attack 2 year ago. It happened that Charlie possessed the information for the first third of the Insect Clone Technique.

Today, his host had initiated the pre-programmed signal to release the memories (the signal was "I'm already awake, sir. Who are you?"). Unfortunately, Shino was now in loads of stress, but Charlie couldn't really do anything about it. Actually, Charlie's life cycle was only about 3 hours long, so...

After fathering a set of eggs, Charlie dropped dead, his lifelong mission having been completed. At the same time, millions of other kikaichu poured their life's work into Shino's memory banks, filling his mind with disjointed images of the future.

Shino had begun controlling insects since he was a wee lad, so he was quite used to dealing with hundreds of thoughts at the same time. In fact, all Aburame had to deal with organizing swirling waves of information constantly; that was probably why all of them focused so much on logic and regulation. Shino never developed a headache from the phantasmagoria of memories (the other time-travelers would be jealous, no doubt), but he would be woozy for a few days, struggling to suppress the seemingly random popups from the future in his head._  
_

* * *

_3 days later..._

In Sunagakure, a young Temari noticed an odd bird in the sky. Could it be...?

"Kankuro! Gaara! It's a mail pigeon!" Temari called.

A red-haired toddler waddled over to his sister. "Mail! I love mail!" a surprisingly cheerful Gaara burst.

An older, brown-haired boy stopped fiddling around with his puppets and walked over to them both. Kankuro squinted at the sky. Sure enough, the mail pigeon came down, the symbol of Konoha flapping conspicuously on leg. Kankuro looked at Temari meaningfully. "Do you think it's...?"

Temari nodded. "I think so. Who else from Konoha would send us mail exactly _2 years _from the Kyuubi attack?"

The bird squawked and dropped the envelope into Temari's waiting hands and flew away. The envelope itself was curious; Temari had expected the official stationery of the Hokage's office since Minato would be the one to signal the awakening of the children. But it wasn't from the Hokage or even from the official Konoha government; the letter's return address was Shikamaru's house on the Nara clan grounds.

Opening the letter, Temari found a nearly illegible letter written in the sloppiest handwriting she'd ever seen. She read out loud to her brothers,

_Dear Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara,_

_First off, sorry for the bad handwriting. I'm two, so deal with it. I couldn't get my dad to write it because he'd get suspicious._

_But onto the main point. I'm sure you're wondering why this is from me and not Minato. In short, I'm writing this because Minato's dead. Troublesome, innit?_

_I don't know what happened, but something weird must have occurred. I think Itachi Uchiha also came back with us even though he wasn't supposed to, but he said that he couldn't explain anything without killing everyone around him. Figures. Anyway, I brought back everyone in Konoha, and Gaara is the only one left. Tell him to wake up, or something. That'll probably trigger his Bijuu mindscape, right? Send your family my regards, and tell Gaara to tell Shukaku to fuck off, alright?_

_Sincerely,_

_Shikamaru Nara_

Temari inhaled sharply. Minato, dead? Something horrible had gone wrong in the plan; Minato was certainly not supposed to be dead. Even Kankuro looked perturbed, and the pupper user couldn't have been more comfortable with death. Gaara started twitching. Something weird was going on, and his head was tingling.

Also, since Temari had read the letter aloud, Gaara was rolling on the floor screaming by this point. Sand swirled around him in haphazard shapes, and he moaned to himself continuously.

His siblings would give him some space for a few days. But they looked forward to catching up to the Gaara they knew and liked, the Kazekage of Suna.

* * *

"I'm really glad that you opted to mail your Suna friends instead of visiting," Shikaku said.

Without even looking away from the clouds, Shikamaru shrugged and said, "Yeah, visiting might have been a bit-"

"Troublesome," finished Shikaku. "I know."

From afar, Yoshino Nara noted with annoyance, _'Damn it, he really does take after his father. They're finishing each others' sentences already, and he's only two!'_

Screaming to the heavens, Yoshino complained, "WHERE DID MY PARENTING GO WRONG?!"

**And on that note, thanks for reading!**

**Update coming up next Sunday, June 1st. As I mentioned earlier, I might change up my update schedule over the summer-I'll get it figured out this week. In the meantime, if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions about the story, please review or PM me!**

**Signing off,**

**PNJ**


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